* * *
‘If Taehwan gets married… I might even see a kid that looks like him.’
Now that I think about it, back when I said I wanted to be reborn as Taehwan’s kid if I died—it wasn’t just some sappy dream.
It was a calculated, if slightly creepy, fantasy.
If I were reborn as Taehwan’s child, I’d have good looks, talent, and come from a great family.
As an only child, I’d be doted on by everyone.
My life would be on easy mode.
Even leaving aside my personal relationship with Taehwan, it’d still be a top-tier reincarnation.
And it’s not like Taehwan would cut ties with my family just because I died.
He’d still be close enough to be around, so chances are, I’d run into him now and then.
It was the perfect plan—one that would let me have happiness in both my past and future lives.
‘But now that I’m not dying, it’s all a useless fantasy.’
Instead, I’ll do my best as the kid’s uncle.
Celebrate every birthday, hand out generous allowances, take them on outings, be there when things get tough—I want to be that kind of uncle.
When the couple needs time alone, I’ll babysit.
I raised my younger siblings with my own two hands, after all.
I’m confident I can handle a baby through the sleepless nights and into their hyper toddler years.
Back then I was too young and weak, and every day was a struggle—but not anymore.
No matter how energetic a baby might be, they’re not going to outmatch an S-class Awakened Hunter!
I know I’d make a great uncle.
“Haa…”
But something’s wrong.
I feel… weird.
No, more than that—I feel really weird.
It was just a happy daydream, but now I’m strangely depressed.
It’s like I’m sinking into some deep, dark ocean instead of calmly drifting.
Even if Taehwan and I stay the best of friends after he gets married, he’ll inevitably prioritize his wife and child—his family.
We’ll see each other less.
There will be things we can’t talk about. We might even grow distant.
For the past 13 years, we’ve been inseparable—talking every day, seeing each other constantly, closer than anyone else…
But this relationship can’t last forever.
‘Wow. I really am dependent on Im Taehwan, huh.’
But it makes sense.
He’s been more influential in my life than even my own family.
My whole world revolves around him.
Of course his absence would feel like a gaping hole.
I need to meet more people.
Stop tying myself to Taehwan and start expanding my world.
If I fill my life with others, I won’t feel the loss of just one person as sharply.
I have a mentor now, and colleagues too.
Maybe I’ll even find someone to love.
That’s how we’ll both become real adults—not just kids whose whole world is “me” and “my friend,” but adults who devote themselves to the people they call family.
“Haa…”
But then… why do I feel even worse?
My chest aches.
It hurts so bad it feels like I might cry.
I know this is normal.
I know it’s part of growing up.
So why does it feel like this?
Is this what they call growing pains?
I turned the shower handle, and icy water burst out, dousing my head and making me jolt upright.
The heat in my head finally cooled.
It felt a bit better.
After cooling down, I warmed up again under the hot water.
I ended up washing slowly, lost in thought the whole time.
It took me much longer than usual—probably double, maybe triple my normal time.
Still, the water seemed to rinse away my heavy thoughts too.
I felt better, more grounded.
I resolved to talk things out with Taehwan and clear up the tension between us.
I stepped out of the shower with that mindset—only to find the atmosphere at the campsite had completely changed.
“…Huh?”
It was so quiet, it felt somber.
When I went in, every table had been alive with laughter and food.
Now, it was almost deserted.
No one was outside their tents.
Sure, I’d taken a while, but not that long.
It didn’t make sense that everyone had just suddenly packed up and gone to sleep.
Some teams had even packed up and left the campsite.
The tent right next to ours was already completely empty.
Just what happened at this campsite while I was taking a shower…?
“Jehee.”
The man, likely at the center of all this, approached with a gentle smile.
He placed a soft towel over my head and began drying my hair with practiced ease.
Normally, I would’ve just closed my eyes and enjoyed Taehwan’s touch until my hair was completely dry, but…
I couldn’t stop thinking about everything.
Looking up at Taehwan, I asked,
“Did something happen?”
“…What kind of question is that the moment I show up? What do you mean, did something happen?”
“I mean the atmosphere. Isn’t it weird? Everyone suddenly stopped playing and went inside.”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? The moment I went in to shower, didn’t they all come for you?”
“….”
For a second, Taehwan’s hand paused, and his gaze narrowed slightly as he looked down at me—but then, with a soft sigh, his usual touch returned.
Gentle and affectionate, just like always.
But his voice wasn’t kind. It was cold—like stone.
“…Yeah, they came.”
“What the hell did you say to make the atmosphere turn out like this?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Taehwan.”
“I’m serious. Not a single word. I said nothing.”
His words came out clipped and firm, as if to leave no room for questioning.
Taehwan would never lie to me—especially not while emphasizing it that strongly.
But if he really didn’t say anything… then why had the mood in the campsite gotten this bad?
Why would the people in the tent next to us leave at this hour, even after drinking?
It felt too heavy, too gloomy, to just be a personal matter.
‘No way…’
Did all of this happen because Taehwan didn’t say anything?
Sometimes, complete silence can be more hurtful than harsh words.
You often hear celebrities say that indifference is scarier than hate comments.
When someone you desperately want attention from coldly ignores you, it can leave a deep scar—especially for people with strong pride, the more they long for that attention, the worse the wound.
Even for me, if Taehwan completely ignored what I said and didn’t respond, I’m not sure I could take it.
Just imagining it hurt my chest.
So I could understand how badly they must’ve felt.
Of course, that doesn’t mean Taehwan did anything wrong.
If he clearly turned them down and they pushed their feelings onto him anyway, then that’s on them, isn’t it?
Still… if I was the reason Taehwan rejected them so firmly, maybe this was a good chance to set things straight.
“Um, hey, Taehwan.”
“What.”
“I’m not sick anymore, and I’ve got my license now… so you don’t have to tie yourself down to me so much…”
“Jung Jehee.”
Taehwan took a deep breath and grabbed my wrist.
His hand was trembling ever so slightly.
That alone made me unable to continue what I was going to say.
When I went quiet, Taehwan, who seemed like he’d been holding back something, gradually calmed.
His trembling stopped, and the hand holding my wrist slowly slid down to gently wrap around my hand.
“Ever since you were in the hospital, you’ve been trying to push me toward someone else. But please… don’t.”
“…”
“I’m not thinking about dating or marriage right now. I only need you. There’s no one else I want to take responsibility for… No, that’s not what I mean—”
His words stumbled.
He bowed his head and shook it, flustered.
I waited silently for him to speak again.
“You haven’t been out of the hospital for that long. There’s so much I want to do with you. Things I thought I’d never be able to do again after you were admitted. And now we can. I want to do all of them. With you.”
“Yeah.”
“I know what you’re worried about. But people our age aren’t even getting married these days. Even if I end up getting tired of playing with you, there’ll be plenty of time to date and get married later. So stop trying to give me away already.”
I looked down at our joined hands.
Somehow, as I went over Taehwan’s words again, a question that had been weighing on me finally felt answered.
The reason I’d felt so down while showering.
Even though Taehwan completely disagreed with my suggestion, just hearing his words had not only washed away all the gloom I’d been trying to rinse off in the shower—it filled me up with something bright and warm instead.
“Actually… me too.”
I get it now. No matter what I said, I wasn’t ready to let Taehwan go either.
* * *
