* * *
Maybe because we’d already done this once before, Hesia naturally brought me back to his palace.
It was as if everything had been prepared in advance—no one stopped us, and even entering the prince’s castle required no questions or confirmation.
Even though the stigma attached to my name was gone, I was still from the Eris Empire.
I had expected suspicious glares if I revealed my identity, but… everything turned out so differently.
There was a room prepared for me, right next to Hesia’s chambers.
Standing quietly in the center of a room decorated entirely to my taste, I heard a knock.
Before I could even respond, the door burst open.
Given how none of the palace staff ever questioned me despite their curiosity, there was only one person who would barge in like that.
Letting out a faint sigh as I stared out at the garden beyond the window, I called out to the intruder.
“Sha.”
I didn’t need to look.
His presence was unmistakable.
I could sense Hesia hesitate as he quietly slipped into the room at my words.
“Vivi, aren’t you eating? I came to call you for dinner…”
I wasn’t sure if it was because he knew acting all soft around me would make me drop my guard, or if it was simply a natural reaction he couldn’t help.
But with him standing there, fingers fidgeting, speaking so cautiously, I couldn’t bring myself to scold him.
“I told you not to open the door as soon as you knock, didn’t I? Knock, say who it is.”
“Yeah, but… do you not like it? Is that why you’re standing there looking like that?”
His weak reply only lasted a moment.
Soon, Hesia was circling me, inspecting every corner of the room.
The way he looked like he’d rip everything apart and redo it if anything wasn’t perfect made me chuckle quietly as I rubbed the back of my neck.
“There’s nothing I don’t like. It just looks a bit like my old room. I was just looking around. Don’t worry so much, Sia.”
“You don’t like it because it looks like your old room? Well, the principality is… different from the empire, so I tried to decorate it similar to your old place. But maybe that’s why it feels off? If you really don’t like it, tell me! I’ll change it right away. Or, there are plenty of other rooms. After dinner, we can look at them together.”
No matter how much time passed, some things never changed.
Hesia’s words still poured out like a waterfall, even if I didn’t respond much.
Watching him chatter away by himself, I smiled faintly.
“Alright. Let’s do that.”
At my quiet agreement, Hesia beamed brightly and lightly grabbed my sleeve.
He couldn’t bring himself to hold my hand directly, only clutching my sleeve with trembling fingers.
Amused by his hesitation, I gently removed his hand.
His eyes widened in shock as I did, but I only chuckled, tickled his chin, and then took his hand in mine.
“Don’t grab my sleeve. Just hold my hand—it’s easier, isn’t it?”
His eyes, wide with surprise when I pulled away, softened slightly at my touch, only to round with shock again when I held his hand.
Maybe it was his youth, but he really didn’t know how to hide his emotions.
His reactions were so pure, it made me laugh.
Swinging our intertwined hands slightly, I asked:
“So, Sia, where’s the dining hall? You came to get me for dinner, didn’t you?”
“Ah—oh! Right, dinner. Vivi, you need to eat! The food should be ready by now, we should hurry.”
“Why? It’s not like anyone else is going to eat it.”
“It’ll taste bad if it gets cold.”
“It’s food made by the royal chefs. It can’t possibly taste bad just because it’s cooled down.”
At my dry retort, Hesia, who had been hurrying ahead, slowed down a little.
And among the palace staff trailing behind us, a small ripple of laughter spread.
I glanced back, and the startled attendants quickly bowed their heads.
I waited until they raised their heads again, then smiled faintly.
Hesia, oblivious as always, focused entirely on me, not even noticing the servants laughing, crying, or whispering behind us.
Before his gaze could follow mine, I turned back to face forward.
Hesia watched me with eyes that were both mature and youthful, then the corners of his eyes curled upward.
His sharp, aloof gaze softened in an instant, leaving no room for misunderstanding.
Staring into those earnest, unwavering eyes, an unfamiliar thought crossed my mind.
Maybe… I missed this child too.
Maybe the me from eight years ago, or from some forgotten moment, longed for him too.
How could I not, when someone looked at me with those eyes, always, unwaveringly?
Then how much… how much must this boy, Hesia, have missed me?
That thought made my expression involuntarily complicated.
As my face shifted slightly, Hesia tilted his head and asked casually:
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling bad? Or is something bothering you?”
“No… it’s just… I realized I missed you too, Sia. And I wondered… how much did you miss me?”
I muttered it lightly on purpose, but the boy—now a man in my memory—halted his steps.
I stopped as well, turning to look beside me.
Hesia, wearing a faintly startled expression, stared at me for a moment before his lips curved into a soft, blurry smile.
‘Ah… that’s a face I don’t know.’
“…Did you miss me a lot?”
“So much… I couldn’t possibly explain it in words.”
Hesia, who answered obediently, squeezed my hand a little tighter and whispered softly.
“Vivi, it’s okay if you don’t know how I feel. No, honestly… I’d rather you never find out. Don’t think about my longing or the time that has passed. If you care for me, Vivi, then all the more—you should only think about your own happiness.”
Hesia smiled shyly, like a boy experiencing his first love.
He slowly lifted our joined hands and lightly pressed his lips to the back of mine.
“Be happy, Vivi. And in that happiness… just let me be a part of it. Just a little—that’s enough.”
The look on his face, asking to be included even just a little, was so cautious it left me feeling strangely unsettled.
Had there ever been anyone this careful around me before?
As I stared at that face, which kept trying to send me back to some distant, happier day in the past, I turned my head away.
✽ ✽ ✽
As the future of a nation, Hesia was busy.
He tried to stay by my side as much as he could, but there were times when he had no choice but to leave.
Whenever that happened, I usually sat in the garden with a few palace staff and knights.
Just like the past few days, today I sat at a table with a clear view of the garden, leisurely reading a book while enjoying tea.
The gardener, who tended the flowers like they were his own children, happened to pass by.
Curious about how long this garden, filled so proudly with blue flowers, had been here, I put down my book and called out to him.
“Excuse me, can I ask you something?”
“Eh? Me? Ah, of course, ask away.”
“This flower garden… was it always here?”
“Ah, no. His Highness ordered it planted recently, gathering blue flowers from all over the country. Not just the gardeners—those with plant-related abilities were called in too. It was quite the effort.”
The gardener shrugged as he explained.
I smiled in thanks and told him he could go.
He took off his hat, bowed, and disappeared somewhere.
“So, it wasn’t always here…”
It might be overly self-centered to think this way, but… this garden of flowers must’ve been made for me.
I sank into the chair, watching the waves of blue flowers swaying gently in the breeze.
With my elbow resting on the armrest and my chin tilted in my hand, I blinked lazily.
The soft canopy shielded me from the sun’s warmth, a cool breeze brushed past, and the sweet scent of affection lingered in the air.
“He could’ve told me… Something like, ‘I made this for you.’”
It was strange how he kept quiet about things like this.
Thinking that, I slowly closed my eyes.
I must’ve dozed off at some point because when someone cautiously called my name, I opened my eyes, blinking sleepily.
I pressed my hand to my temple as I looked up to see palace staff staring at me, looking slightly flustered.
“…Is something wrong?”
My voice cracked slightly, still heavy with sleep.
The head attendant, Hugo, parted his lips like he had something to say, but then shook his head with his usual calm expression.
“No, I just thought it might be uncomfortable to sleep outside, so I woke you. My apologies if I overstepped.”
He bowed politely.
I shook my head to say it was fine and rubbed my stiff neck, sore from sleeping curled up in the chair.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to wake me next time. Just leave me be.”
“Understood. Are you hungry or feeling unwell, perhaps?”
Maybe because it hadn’t been long since I arrived at the palace, their attitudes were overly polite, but Hugo was clearly different from the others, who were still unsure of my status.
Whether Hesia had spoken to him privately or Hugo was just sharp, he remained courteous but reserved.
I pressed my fingers to my temple, meeting his steady gaze.
“No, nothing like that… By the way, do you know what Sha’s doing right now?”
“His Highness is attending to state affairs at the moment. If there’s a message you’d like to send, I can arrange for someone to deliver it.”
“I was just curious, that’s all.”
I smiled, waved my hand dismissively, and slowly got up.
This country had mild weather year-round, so the loose, lightweight clothing typical of the principality brushed against my ankles.
Unlike the stiff shoes—or scraps of leather that barely qualified as shoes—I used to wear in the Empire, I now wore comfortable sandals as I walked through the garden.
No one followed me into the flowerbed, but no one stopped me either.
As I strolled, I spotted a flower that had fallen to the ground and paused.
I bent down to pick it up, and just then, sensing a familiar presence, I lifted my head.
Hesia was pushing through the flowers, making his way toward me.
* * *