I am not a Yandere chapter 151

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“Once I move, we won’t see each other as much, you know?”

“With that face, you make it seem like we’ll never meet again.”

The thought that he might never see him again.

Yeongdeok didn’t want that.

No. No. …No.

The emotions buried beneath the surface slowly began to emerge.

What is the name of this feeling, and why does he feel this way?

Wanting to understand, Yeongdeok searched for that man in his contacts.

[Ha Wonjin]

Yeongdeok hesitated briefly about whether to call or not, but in the end, he pressed the call button.

Though not entirely reliable, this guy was good at answering these kinds of questions.

“Hello?”

“Ha Wonjin, do you have a moment?”

He was also planning to ask him to take care of that disgusting creature crawling along the wall. Yeongdeok glared at the cockroach brazenly scuttling around his house.

“I’m on my way home from work. Where should I go?”

“Then….”

Until Wonjin arrived, Yeongdeok had to continue his tense standoff with the cockroach.

It moved so nimbly on those short, three pairs of legs that he stayed as far away as possible, eyes fixed on its every move, fearing it might come closer.

He wanted to ignore the bug no matter what it did, but it would be a disaster if it disappeared from sight by the time Wonjin got there.

“Yeongdeok, I’m here. Please open the door.”

After a standoff lasting about an hour, Yeongdeok heard Wonjin’s voice from outside.

Without taking his eyes off the small black creature, Yeongdeok slowly made his way to the front door and opened it.

“What did you call me for…?”

“Ha Wonjin, catch that thing, quick.”

Pointing at the cockroach, Yeongdeok showed him.

Wonjin cautiously approached and swiftly captured the black creature roaming the living room.

The cockroach fluttered in his hand.

“I’ll release it somewhere.”

“Make sure you take it far away. Don’t let it near this place.”

The thought of the cockroach crawling back into his home sent shivers down Yeongdeok’s spine.

He didn’t want to repeat the exhausting and nerve-wracking battle with a creature whose thoughts and movements were impossible to predict.

Understanding his request, Wonjin nodded and walked down the stairs.

Not long after, Wonjin returned after disposing of the cockroach.

He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and then spoke to Yeongdeok.

“Are you afraid of bugs?”

“It’s not fear. It’s just distaste.”

“Most people call that fear.”

Unable to accept that, Yeongdeok shot a glare at Wonjin, who decided to keep his mouth shut to avoid making things worse.

When Wonjin emerged from the bathroom, hands still slightly wet, Yeongdeok spoke bluntly.

“I called you because I wanted your advice on something.”

“Advice?”

“Will you listen?”

Wonjin wondered what Yeongdeok could possibly need advice on, but since it wasn’t hard to listen, he nodded.

“Shall we take a walk outside?”

“Whatever suits you.”

Casually suggesting a walk like a date, Wonjin shoved his feet back into his shoes.

ꔚ

As twilight descended, children rushed home after playing, and people strolled along a softly lit path, trying to digest their dinners.

Yeongdeok and Wonjin sat on a bench, gazing at the stream flowing beside the walking trail.

“It was hot this afternoon, but now it’s pleasant to be outside,” Wonjin remarked, adjusting his glasses.

“So, what’s the consultation about? What’s bothering you?” he asked.

Yeongdeok organized his thoughts and spoke quietly.

“Someone confessed to me once.”

“A confession?”

Wonjin’s heart sank.

His voice stuttered in surprise.

“D-Did you accept?”

“No. I rejected him. But the problem started after that. Even though I turned him down, I’ve felt strange ever since.”

“…….”

“He left my side. It should be the end of the story, but… I keep thinking about him.”

“I see….”

Wonjin didn’t want to hear any more.

He clasped his hands tightly together, hoping Yeongdeok would stop, but Yeongdeok didn’t notice his small plea.

“I wish he were still here. My heart races whenever I think of his face.”

“…….”

“Ha Wonjin.”

Yeongdeok’s dark eyes gleamed with sudden clarity, as if he’d had an epiphany.

Wonjin feared what he might say next, but he couldn’t stop him from speaking.

“Is this feeling… love?”

Wonjin held his breath until his lungs felt full.

The innocent question, devoid of any malice, twisted something inside him.

An unsettling sense of déjà vu overwhelmed his mind.

‘If I have an intense desire to possess everything about someone whenever I see them, what is that feeling?’

This wasn’t the first time Yeongdeok had asked him something like this.

What had he answered back then?

‘Director, maybe… you like them?’

Back then, he’d easily replied, but even though the situation was nearly the same, now it felt as though words were stuck in his throat.

Wonjin wanted to ask Yeongdeok what this feeling inside him was, why it was suffocating him, and… why it hurt.

He tried to say, “I don’t know either,” but instead, he decided to deny Yeongdeok’s feelings outright.

A single word could change Yeongdeok’s understanding, couldn’t it?

“No. That’s….”

Yeongdeok seemed to be mistaken.

But Wonjin felt Yeongdeok’s earnest gaze and faltered.

His eyes were so honest, so trusting, that Wonjin remembered promising never to disappoint him.

If he had known what this consultation was about, he would have made an excuse not to come.

“What were you going to say?”

Pressed by Yeongdeok, Wonjin squeezed his eyes shut and, unable to betray his promise, reluctantly answered.

“…It seems like it is.”

“I see. So I do love him.”

Hearing Wonjin’s answer made Yeongdeok feel more certain about his emotions.

He had found his answer, but Wonjin was still struggling to make sense of his own feelings.

“I never felt a rush of passion or anything like that.”

And Yeongdeok had never even considered wanting physical intimacy with Jihoon.

Wonjin, his voice sounding hollow, replied softly.

“Not all love is fiery and passionate.”

Watching families, old couples, and young lovers along the path, Yeongdeok felt he understood.

Each one loved in their own way, no matter the form.

“…I see.”

While Yeongdeok nodded in acceptance, Wonjin was still fighting himself.

Should he try to deny it and steer things back?

Should he confuse Yeongdeok’s heart, so he could keep his place?

Unwilling to let things go so easily, Wonjin lifted his head, prepared to interfere.

“Hey, Yeongdeok….”

“You always listen to me so well. Thank you.”

Yeongdeok’s lips curled into a loose smile.

At that single remark, Wonjin’s expression twisted in anguish.

As if snapped back to reality, the jealousy that had been building in his throat melted away like magic.

Though Yeongdeok might be several times duller than most when it came to emotions, he wasn’t a fool.

So, even if Wonjin tried to get in the way, nothing would change.

Everything had ended the moment Yeongdeok’s heart had made its decision.

Wonjin didn’t want to say anything unnecessary and risk earning Yeongdeok’s hatred.

He had already experienced enough of what it felt like to be treated as if he didn’t exist, to be ignored by him.

It wasn’t something he wanted to go through again.

Swallowing dryly, Wonjin suppressed his ugly feelings and resolved to give Yeongdeok sincere advice.

To uphold his loyalty to him.

“Why don’t you… try meeting him just once? Maybe that will help you be more certain about your feelings.”

“Him?”

Yeongdeok carefully considered Wonjin’s advice.

He quickly decided it made sense.

No, even without such a purpose, he already wanted to see Jihoon.

He wanted to see him.

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