Don’t you think we are going too fast? chapter 16

As he leaned slightly towards me and adjusted my collar, Taeshin’s pheromones began to emanate.

The intense scent wafted over me, and I involuntarily inhaled deeply, causing my body to stiffen.

The pheromones from Taeshin entered my body, awakening dormant sensations.

Feeling a cold shiver run down my spine, I saw Taeshin’s face very close to mine.

We were at a distance where we could easily touch with just a small movement, and Taeshin was also looking at me.

Our eyes met, and this moment overlapped with another from the past.

‘Kiss me.’

In my memory, I said this to Taeshin.

“All done. How is it? Uncomfortable?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Uncomfortable?”

“What? No, it’s not uncomfortable.”

Taeshin moved back after fixing my collar.

Even though his body was a little farther away, I still felt his strong pheromones.

I touched the shirt collar and swallowed.

My heart was racing, and I hesitated before speaking.

“Um, Taeshin.”

“Yeah.”

“I… I think I need to go. I forgot something! Let’s have dinner another time.”

“Now? Is it urgent?”

“Yeah, uh-huh.”

Nodding awkwardly, I apologized, but Taeshin said it was okay and went to pay, telling me to change back.

Instead of changing, I quickly put on my padding jacket and grabbed the clothes I had taken off.

“If you’re going home, I can give you a ride.”

“What? No, no. I can go by myself.”

“I’m heading that way anyway.”

“No, I need to stop somewhere.”

Refusing Taeshin’s offer to give me a ride, I stuffed my hoodie into the shopping bag he handed me and headed for the elevator.

I needed to get away from Taeshin urgently. My heart kept pounding without any sign of calming down, making it hard to breathe.

I sneaked a long breath out while anxiously watching the elevator numbers decrease.

“I’ll go ahead! See you next time!”

The elevator reached the first floor, and I hurriedly got out and greeted him, not waiting for his response, fearing he might offer to drive me home again.

I quickly exited the department store and hailed a taxi, giving the driver my home address.

As soon as I got into the taxi and closed the door, I pressed my hand to my chest and closed my eyes tightly.

My wildly beating heart was palpable under my palm.

You’re crazy. Get a grip, Moon Sunwoo, get a grip.

Taeshin agreed to pretend it never happened.

I muttered to myself, shaking my head vigorously, trying to dispel the constant thoughts of Taeshin.

I even slapped my cheeks hard enough to make my head ache, but the image of Taeshin from that night kept surfacing.

***

People say some escape reality through sleep when they face something they want to avoid, but even that wasn’t an option for me.

My eyes stayed wide open, and my thoughts repeatedly turned to Taeshin until the sky started to lighten past midnight.

I couldn’t handle my own thoughts.

Desperate to distract myself, I played a mobile puzzle game, completing levels 1 through 215.

It wasn’t until I kept failing at level 216, “Avoid the Alpaca,” and grew annoyed by the mocking alpaca image that I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up, still holding my phone, the sun was high in the sky.

I felt stiff and unrested despite sleeping, and I rubbed my body under the afternoon sunlight.

Basking in the sunlight streaming through the window, I lay back down and gradually regained my composure.

Finally, I realized that the embarrassing memories related to Taeshin no longer popped up to torment me.

After a night that felt like it would drive me crazy, I was relieved to find my mind functioning normally.

I picked up my phone.

Seeing the uncompleted level 216 alpaca now seemed less bothersome, so I turned off the game. Taeshin had sent me a text.

[Taeshin♥> Did you manage to take care of what you forgot yesterday?]

He had sent the text a few hours ago.

I hadn’t noticed it while I was asleep. Nervously, I read his message asking about the errand I had used as an excuse.

After calming myself, I typed a reply.

[Yeahㅋㅋ I took care of itㅋㅋㅋ]

Good, I sent a normal response.

Sleeping seemed to help as I felt much more at peace compared to yesterday.

Though there was a slight twinge of guilt, it was said that once bitten, twice shy.

I was being pretty composed under the circumstances.

[Taeshin♥> That’s good to hear]

Taeshin replied shortly after.

Feeling a bit sorry for Taeshin, who always checked up on me like it was his own matter, I rationalized that it was a necessary step back for the sake of our peaceful friendship and read his next message.

[Taeshin♥> You didn’t look well yesterday. Are you feeling better today?]

I tilted my head at his question. I wasn’t actually unwell, just cold yesterday.

But reflecting on my actions—blushing when we met, coming out of the movie looking drained, suddenly canceling dinner plans—no wonder Taeshin thought I was sick.

I couldn’t explain the real reason, so I decided not to correct his misunderstanding and replied ambiguously.

[ㅋㅋ, sorry for leaving so suddenly yesterday ㅠ]

[Taeshin♥> It’s okay. We can eat later.]

I hesitated to suggest that.

I was worried that if I made plans to eat with Taeshin again, the same situation as yesterday might happen.

Yesterday, we ended our shopping abruptly and parted ways, but if I ran away from a restaurant after ordering food, it would be incredibly rude.

I needed to be sure before replying to Taeshin.

I put my phone down and stared at it intently.

That’s Lee Taeshin, that’s Lee Taeshin.

I replaced the phone with Lee Taeshin in my mind.

I imagined having a meal with him right in front of me.

Sitting in a restaurant, ordering food, receiving the dishes, eating, and conversing.

I ran this simulation in my head to see if it was possible to do all this with Taeshin without any issues.

After imagining it three times, I was relieved to feel nothing unusual.

No racing heart, no strange thoughts.

“Alright.”

Feeling confident, I picked up my phone and replied happily.

[Thanks, ㅋㅋ I’ll treat you to a meal later.]

[Taeshin♥> Make it something delicious, please.]

Yesterday’s chaotic day seemed to be laying the groundwork for today’s peace.

After finishing a much calmer and smoother conversation than yesterday, I went into the dressing room to change clothes.

I took out a hoodie and comfortable pants and tossed aside my pajamas.

Thud.

“Huh?”

As I threw my pajamas onto the table, I heard something drop.

I picked up the hoodie and looked where the sound came from.

A shopping bag I had tossed aside in a hurry yesterday was on the floor, with a red tie half-spilled out.

“…!”

I couldn’t even scream, just opening and closing my mouth in shock.

I quickly picked up the shopping bag and stuffed the tie back in.

Even though it was just my dressing room, where no one else could see, I looked around nervously while gripping the shopping bag tightly.

Then I tied the handles together and shoved it into the corner of my accessory drawer so no one would find it.

“Oh, damn it, oh, damn it!”

My previously calm mind was now shaken, and my heart started pounding again.

My face grew hot as I didn’t know what to do with my embarrassment and quickly left the dressing room.

I tried to distract myself with other thoughts to avoid any more inappropriate ones.

Thoughts about the puzzle game I played last night, the delicious side dishes Auntie An made, the preparations for college, my dad asking if I was ready, my mom worrying if I would even go to school, and the annoying Moon Jinwoo telling me not to even dream of living on my own.

I calmed down.

My peace started with my aunt’s side dishes and turned into frustration at Moon Jinwoo.

Why does he think he can tell me, an adult, that I can’t live on my own?

Fuming, I grabbed my phone.

Then I realized I had only changed my top and was still wearing my pajama pants. I glanced back at the dressing room and decided to ignore it, turning on my phone to see a message from Taeshin.

[Taeshin♥> Do you have anything to do today?]

Reading Taeshin’s message brought back all the memories I had tried to suppress.

From yesterday’s encounter with Taeshin to the night before, when he kept calling my name in a hushed, excited tone, everything played back in my mind like a recorded video.

This brain of mine!

It never forgets anything.

The intrusive memories dragged up everything else.

Even though I was alone in my room, I felt as if I could sense Taeshin’s pheromones.

Just before I could fully recall the unfamiliar sensations his pheromones awoke in me, I hurriedly replied to Taeshin.

[I have plans today]

[It’s a PC bang meetup,ㅋㅋ]

My heart pounded, my body grew warm, and my hands trembled.

As I read Taeshin’s disappointed reply, I felt myself breaking into a sweat.

[Taeshin♥> PC Bang?]

[Taeshin♥> Have fun playing.]

Never before had I been so thankful that Taeshin found PC bangs uninteresting.

I went into my fourth brother’s room, now vacant since he moved out.

I wandered into his room, still warm despite his absence, and found the meditation space he had created.

Despite being an engineering student, my fourth brother had a secret belief in the power of prayer before important events.

Approaching the meditation space, where three tables displayed statues of Buddha, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary, I knelt in front of the golden Buddha statue on the first table and clasped the prayer beads.

Buddha, I think I’ve lost my mind!