WDIHTVYB Chapter 36

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Raizen’s question wasn’t one I could easily answer.

‘A reason? Is there even one?’

I didn’t put much thought into it.

Leaving food unfinished felt wasteful, and it wasn’t like I despised sweets to the point of being unable to eat them.

If he assumed I liked them and served them again, I’d just eat them.

No big deal.

What puzzled me more was Raizen’s intent behind the question.

‘What’s up with him today?’

Everything about Raizen’s demeanor today was different from what I knew—the unnecessary small talk, his careful tone when asking my opinion, even the unusually tender look in his eyes.

‘And why is my heart racing like this?’

Was it because I’d let him see a glimpse of the real me?

Or was it…

‘No, stop thinking about that.’

What I needed to focus on now was answering his question.

Acting childishly simple would be the safest bet.

“Because it’d be a waste to leave it!”

Raizen looked at me silently for a moment before smiling faintly.

“I see.”

“Yup!”

“Got it…”

Raizen murmured softly as he sipped his tea, his gaze locking onto mine again.

His direct, unwavering eyes made me flinch.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to force yourself to eat it.”

“I… I don’t hate it. I just don’t particularly like it…”

“Not particularly liking something is enough.”

‘Why are you doing this, really?’

The strange warmth in his voice and gaze was unbearable.

My chest felt as if it was buzzing with static.

Unable to suppress the sensation, I gripped the hot chocolate mug tightly with both hands.

‘This has to be him trying to seduce me, doesn’t it?’

Raizen must have been satisfied with my gift.

That would’ve solidified his belief in my power.

Now, he was likely trying to ensure I’d grow attached to him, to keep me under control.

‘I know this. I know this…’

And yet, my treacherous heart was the problem.

He wasn’t him.

He definitely wasn’t.

So why did my heart tremble at every small shift in his demeanor?

‘It’s just because he looks like him.’

No, not just like him—aside from the color of his eyes, he was identical.

Under the table, I clenched and unclenched my fists.

‘But Raizen isn’t him.’

I had to stop wasting energy on useless thoughts and focus on survival.

If I could endure this, my future—filled with property, cash, and comfort—was waiting for me!

“Got it, hyung. By the way, how did you like the gift I gave you?”

Switching topics was partly to satisfy my curiosity.

Raizen tilted his head slightly, giving a soft smile.

“I liked it. It was deeply moving. But…”

Trailing off, he reached out across the table.

“For now, I still like holding your hand more.”

“…!!”

‘You… You little—!’

Why did he have to say things in such an easily misinterpreted way?

Why couldn’t he just say what he meant clearly?!

My heart pounded furiously, but I quickly calmed myself.

“You mean holding my hand works better, right?!”

Practically talking to myself, I grabbed his hand, making sure to increase the amount of contact.

Raizen flinched slightly but didn’t pull away.

‘Yeah, you don’t hate it, do you?’

Seeing him tolerate the touch somehow helped settle my chaotic thoughts.

‘This is who you are.’

Someone who dislikes physical Affinity, who doesn’t trust others, who weighs everything against self-interest.

ou’re still… the villain you’re destined to be.

A fleeting thought crossed my mind—what kind of person would Raizen have been without the curse?

Could he have avoided becoming the villain?

‘The ancient gods want me to break his curse and stop him from becoming the villain…’

But the real question was: even if the curse were broken, could he escape that fate?

This wasn’t some fairy tale like ‘Beauty and the Beast’ where everything was magically resolved.

‘Honestly, it feels like it’s already too late…’

I don’t know.

Maybe if I manage to get through puberty in one piece, things will turn out okay.

[Training.]

A sudden message window popped up before my eyes, making me spring to my feet.

“Sei?”

“Hyung, I think I need to head out now! I’ve spent all the time I was supposed to, so it’s fine, right?”

“…Is something wrong?”

[5]

‘Ah, crap!’

[4]

“I-I need some time for myself too! See you later!”

I bolted out of Raizen’s room.

He looked a little puzzled but didn’t stop me.

As I ran toward my room, I focused my mind.

[Just wait until I get to my room!!]

A message window displaying exactly what I wanted to say appeared in front of me, the white text bordered in blue.

This was a temporary messaging ability Noah gave me after I started training.

After all, I couldn’t exactly train while hiding under a blanket, could I?

I didn’t want to look like some lunatic talking to thin air, especially with Mila possibly overhearing and putting me under her “special supervision.”

So, Noah came up with this: a way for me to send my thoughts directly as text messages.

Initially, he suggested telepathic communication, but I rejected it—just the thought of someone hearing every single one of my thoughts was horrifying.

‘Good thing he listened.’

Noah tended to be somewhat reasonable when it came to requests, probably because he was my assigned handler.

Before I knew it, I was in front of my room.

I notified Mila, who was waiting in the neighboring room, that I was back and wanted to rest until dinner.

Then, I stepped inside.

“Hah… hah…”

I hadn’t done anything extraordinary, yet I was out of breath.

After catching it, I sent Noah a message.

[You did that on purpose earlier, didn’t you? Don’t do it again next time.]

What if Raizen gets suspicious?

Who’s going to clean up the mess then?

‘That’d be me…!’

[You seemed flustered. Was I wrong?]

“….”

He wasn’t entirely wrong.

Still, if this kept happening, misunderstandings would be inevitable.

[If it happens again, I’ll assume you’re doing it on purpose. He’s supposed to think I like him!]

[Got it. I won’t do it again.]

“Whew…”

He said he wouldn’t do it again, so I’ll trust him—for now.

[Okay. Let’s start the training.]

Not long after I sent the message, an oval-shaped, transparent glass orb appeared above the table.

It floated slightly above the surface, a sight that never ceased to amaze me.

[Now, try channeling your power.]

Swallowing nervously, I approached the orb, extending my hands cautiously.

According to Noah, the method of using my power wasn’t all that different from the mana techniques I’d adapted.

The first step was to focus and sense the power within me, then draw it out and direct it.

‘Usually, the first stage involves condensing or releasing the power, and the next is channeling it into something.’

But for some reason, I skipped the first stage entirely and jumped to the next.

The issue was… I couldn’t seem to master the first stage.

Noah said it was because I wasn’t fully in tune with my own power.

[Believe that the power exists within you.]

‘Easier said than done, old man.’

Still… I had to believe.

If I didn’t, Noah would never stop nagging me.

[Are you an idiot? What’s the problem? You clearly possess divine power—I vouch for it! You’ve even used it before, so why don’t you trust yourself?]

Memories of days when I thought being scolded would’ve been preferable flashed through my mind.

“Haa…”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Soon, I felt a warm energy gathering near my heart.

‘Gently… just a little at a time…’

The warmth moved as I willed it, splitting into two streams that traveled down my arms to my palms.

‘Almost there. Just get it into the orb—’

But the moment the energy reached my palms, it scattered in all directions.

“No…!”

[Another failure.]

‘I don’t need you to tell me that.’

Frustration boiled over.

[“Frustration” is written all over your face.]

I reflexively forced a smile, though it quickly gave way to heavy sighs.

“Why isn’t it working…?”

It had taken me four days to even sense the power inside me.

Now, on the second day of practicing channeling it, I was still at square one.

‘I can feel the power, but…’

Why does it scatter the moment I release it?

I tried again, just in case, but the result was the same.

And Noah?

He stayed utterly silent.

‘Of course, he’s silent when it actually matters.’

Yesterday, today—it was always like this.

When I couldn’t sense my power, he bombarded me with messages nonstop, but now?

‘…What if I don’t actually have divine power at all?’

The thought crept in.

[Stop with the pointless thoughts.]

The sudden message startled me, making me rub my face instinctively.

‘Can he read my mind?’

People often said they couldn’t tell what I was thinking, but this deity seemed to see through me like glass.

[Are you reading my mind or something?]

[Why would I waste my time on that?]

‘Right… I just thought I’d ask…’

I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck.

Then, a new message appeared.

[This time, think of him as you try.]

“…Him?”

If he means… Raizen?

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