* * *
Gong Yoochan shook his head. Cha Joobin hugged him tightly around the waist and buried his face into Yoochan’s shoulder.
After swallowing his trembling breath, he softly rubbed Yoochan’s back.
“I’ll heat it up for you. Just lie down.”
“Why do you keep telling me to lie down?”
“Because you’re sick. You’ve got a high fever.”
Cha Joobin pressed his palm against Yoochan’s cheek, gently rubbing it in circular motions, showing affection in his own way.
Unsure of how Yoochan would take it, he quickly withdrew his hand.
Still holding onto Yoochan’s waist, Joobin guided him to the sofa, where he assumed Yoochan had been lying earlier.
He headed to the kitchen, picking up the bowl of beef bone soup sitting on the living room table.
The soup was already cooked, so it wouldn’t take long to warm it up.
He was itching to ask, “What happened with Kim Woosun?”
But the calm expression Yoochan wore kept him from saying anything.
Yoochan had never cried in front of him, so the fact that he did in front of Woosun made Joobin feel small and uneasy.
If only he had been born three years earlier.
Swallowing useless regrets, Joobin didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad that Woosun would no longer be around, as Yoochan had said.
He stared blankly at the bubbling soup.
It wasn’t until the pot nearly boiled over that he snapped out of his thoughts.
“Shall I bring it to you?” Joobin asked.
“No, I’ll get it myself.”
There was no guarantee that the dishes in the dorm were clean.
As he heard Yoochan’s footsteps approaching, Joobin rinsed a bowl and served a portion of the soup, placing it on the table.
He used to serve rice as well, but when Yoochan was unwell, he often couldn’t keep food down.
Just getting him to drink the soup was enough to be grateful for.
So, instead of other side dishes, Joobin set a small dish of salt on the table and sat across from Yoochan.
“Thanks.”
Yoochan’s gratitude sounded hollow, lacking any strength.
He could barely grip the spoon, carefully adding just enough salt to season the soup.
The face that Joobin had thought was just pale seemed even more devoid of color.
Yoochan’s eyelids were flushed red from the fever, but the rest of his face was drained, almost paper-like.
Despite being curious about what had happened with Woosun, Joobin sensed that Yoochan wasn’t eager to talk, so he asked something else instead.
“Why did you come here?”
Was it an unexpected question?
Yoochan looked up at him with just his eyes, blinking as if his eyes were dry.
He set down the spoon and straightened his posture.
“…You weren’t there.”
“Why come here if I wasn’t there? Is that why you called?”
“I thought since we’re partners, we’d only have sex and that would be it. After a heat cycle, I get sick, and I figured you’d be too busy with your tight schedule this week. I didn’t want to be a bother.”
It made sense to avoid causing trouble.
The bitterness in his voice was evident as he added that explanation.
“It’s not something that bothers me.”
“…”
Yoochan swallowed hard.
There wasn’t much left to say after Joobin’s firm response.
Yoochan idly stirred the soup, noticing that the taste was a little different from what he was used to at home.
The packaging was different, too.
Did Joobin go out to buy this?
“I went out to get it. I think the soup your grandmother sent has gone bad, and I couldn’t risk feeding you that.”
It was as if Joobin had read his mind.
Yoochan gripped his spoon tightly, feeling at a loss.
If he had just waited a bit longer at home, things might not have escalated like this.
Yoochan sighed deeply, realizing once again that this was his fault.
Yet, at the same time, he was somewhat relieved that the situation had led to cutting Woosun out of their lives.
These days, nothing seemed simple.
His head hurt from all the overthinking.
When he touched his forehead, Joobin immediately asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re really not.”
“When does your schedule start?”
“Monday. It hasn’t even been a week yet.”
“You’re going to be busy.”
That brief exchange brought back the awkward silence between them.
In the past, they would’ve been chatting endlessly, but now silence seemed to seep in at every opportunity.
It felt awkward.
Realizing this only made it worse, and Yoochan felt like he might choke on the soup from the discomfort.
It was probably because he had fully realized that he didn’t want to lose Joobin.
He wanted to repair their relationship, but didn’t know where to start.
On top of that, Joobin’s thoughts were a mystery, making it even harder to approach him.
Noticing Yoochan had stopped eating, Joobin watched him closely.
“Does it taste bad? Should I ask your grandmother to send more?”
“No, you don’t have to do that. Thank you.”
“You’ve been saying thank you a lot lately.”
“…I guess I haven’t been saying it enough.”
“…”
He never thought he was lacking in expressing himself, but perhaps he had been.
His mouth felt dry.
Joobin, who had been talking just a moment ago, now pressed his lips together, causing the conversation to fall into silence once more.
The only saving grace was the sound of the front door beeping as someone entered the passcode.
The manager, apparently returning from a trip to get medicine, was finally back.
Both Joobin and Yoochan turned their heads toward the door.
The manager walked in, slightly out of breath.
“Here, I got the medicine… Oh, Joobin.”
“Ah, you went to get the medicine? Thank you.”
Joobin nodded slightly in greeting.
The manager smiled awkwardly in response, glancing between the two.
With Joobin here to take care of Yoochan, the manager felt like his presence might be a hindrance.
“You can go. I’ll stay with him,” Joobin offered.
The manager looked to Yoochan, who nodded in agreement, quietly thanking him as well.
After the manager left, Joobin absently fiddled with the bag of medicine he had brought.
He knew Yoochan needed the medication to sleep, and while it was necessary, it upset him to think Yoochan had left home in such a rush that he hadn’t packed any of the medicine he already had.
Well, considering how things had been between them, it made sense.
Was he planning to stay here?
Joobin didn’t like the idea of being without Yoochan at home.
Even if it meant giving up his place entirely, he wanted Yoochan to be there.
After all, he had bought that house because he wanted to live with Yoochan in it.
And if Gong Yoochan didn’t want to leave, he could just ask to come back inside.
“……”
Cha Joobin quietly watched the top of Gong Yoochan’s head as he silently ate the beef bone soup.
Just a little while ago, he’d been eating slowly like he had no appetite, but now, thankfully, he was swallowing it down like it tasted fine.
Cha Joobin put down the medicine bag he’d been holding and propped his chin up with his hand.
He openly watched Gong Yoochan as if he were observing something.
Maybe his gaze was too intense, because Gong Yoochan, who had been slowly but steadily spooning up the soup, glanced up at him.
Then, his dark pupils rolled around nervously.
He pressed his lips together as if something was making him uncomfortable.
Was he feeling burdened by being stared at?
Just as Cha Joobin was about to lean back to give him some space until he finished eating—
“It wasn’t just about sex, was it…?”
It was an abrupt statement.
A complete misunderstanding of his intentions, so Cha Joobin looked at him calmly.
“And if it’s not something you should be worrying about…”
This time, Cha Joobin raised an eyebrow.
It seemed he wasn’t happy with Gong Yoochan quoting his earlier comment about “not caring.”
That didn’t matter. Gong Yoochan knew exactly what he wanted to say.
Even though he had felt overwhelmed at first and hadn’t known what to do, there was one thing that suddenly came to mind.
To stick together no matter what.
Like Cha Joobin had always followed him around wherever he went, and how Gong Yoochan had liked it when he didn’t push him away and stayed close.
“…Can I come home again?”
Gong Yoochan asked very cautiously, repeatedly reminding himself not to feel hurt, even if Cha Joobin said no.
He thought an answer would come right away, but to his surprise, Cha Joobin stayed silent.
The longer the silence stretched, the more anxious Gong Yoochan felt. He couldn’t tell what thoughts were behind Cha Joobin’s lowered gaze. It made his mouth feel dry.
Finally, Cha Joobin made a small sound with his lips and leaned back in his chair, relaxing.
Then, with a gentle smile, he nodded toward Gong Yoochan.
“Why would you need permission to come home?”
The easy reply made heat rush up Gong Yoochan’s body.
His face flushed, and he quickly ducked his head in embarrassment.
“Shall we watch Romance Diary when we get back? It’s on tonight.”
“You watch that?”
He had thought for sure Cha Joobin wouldn’t be interested.
Gong Yoochan looked at him with wide eyes, but Cha Joobin just shrugged.
For the first time in a long while, their gaze shared a sense of warmth and familiarity.
In the space where it was just the two of them, without cameras or staff, a soft warmth lingered between them.
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OMG PLEASE STAY WHOLESOME WAAAAAAAAAA