* * *
I grabbed my underwear and pants that I’d taken off earlier.
I wanted to put them on right away, but… the backseat was packed with luggage, and what space was left had to fit two adult men.
And one of them—Taehwan—was the kind of guy you’d see ranked in the top percent for build and size.
The space was so cramped, I could barely move, let alone get dressed.
Even sitting up properly was hard.
Taehwan didn’t just sit by and watch, either.
Maybe he was startled by how suddenly I’d changed my mind, because his face went pale as he grabbed my arm.
“W-Wait. I’m sorry, okay? I won’t say weird stuff anymore. It’ll be over soon. Everything’s ready anyway—if we stop now, you’ll be in trouble too, won’t you?”
“I’m fine.”
It wasn’t impulsive. I wasn’t just being stubborn.
I really did feel like it’d be okay if we didn’t do this.
My head had cooled off, and the heat was draining from my body just as fast.
Even my erection, which had been standing stiff, had mostly softened.
If this kept up, it’d probably go down on its own without me having to do anything.
I guess until now, the anticipation of ‘if I ask Taehwan, he’ll do something that feels good,’ was what kept me aroused.
But maybe, originally, I was just going to calm down naturally with time.
Either way, it’s not like I’m going to die.
That’s why everyone else manages to stay alive too, right?
Worst case, I’ll deal with it myself.
It won’t be easy, sure, but if I’m not going to feel good from Taehwan’s touch anyway, then what’s the point…
“Jehee.”
“Ahk…”
“You’re still hard.”
“…”
Damn it.
I thought my body had cooled off and wouldn’t heat up again—but I was wrong.
The moment Taehwan touched me down there, I reacted instantly.
As if I’d never cooled down at all, heat surged through me, and the strength drained from my legs.
I couldn’t sit up anymore and ended up collapsing back into Taehwan’s lap.
And Taehwan didn’t miss that moment of weakness.
One hand circled my waist and pulled me closer, while the other gently stroked between my legs.
Slow, soothing, almost coaxing.
And I responded all too easily to his touch.
“Haa… Ah…”
Blood rushed back down again.
My hips tensed, toes curled, and the grip on my underwear and pants went slack.
My now-free hand fumbled around for something to hold onto—and found Taehwan’s thick forearm.
As I sat there, not even trying to move anymore, breathing hard, Taehwan’s hurried hands began to slow down.
He leaned in toward me and asked,
“Are you really going to stop?”
“Y-Yeah… I mean it…”
“You sure you’re not hard because you want me to touch you?”
“N-No…”
“No? Then why are you this stiff?”
“Haa… T-Taehwan… your hand…”
“You’re getting even harder.”
“Let go… please…”
I repeated myself, and though he hesitated, Taehwan finally let me go.
But he didn’t let me go completely—both arms wrapped firmly around my waist, holding me close, not releasing me.
I was confused, too. I didn’t know what I wanted.
Did I really want to stop?
Or keep going?
Before he touched me, I was sure I wanted to stop.
But now… a part of me wanted more.
It made me feel ashamed—that something as simple as being touched there could feel so good even when my heart was this conflicted.
“Jehee.”
His voice calling my name sounded strangely unfamiliar.
After all these years with him, after hearing him say my name countless times, somehow today it felt like it dug deeper into me than ever before.
It scrambled my thoughts, melted my brain, and left behind only sticky feelings that made it impossible to think straight.
At this rate, I was going to go stupid, running on instinct alone—wanting nothing but more obscene acts.
That’s not good…
“Jung Jehee, look at me.”
His voice snapped me out of it a little, and I lifted my head to meet his gaze.
Taehwan had a slight frown as he held me tighter by the waist.
“Who am I?”
“Taehwan… Im Taehwan…”
“Do you hate it when I touch you?”
That was cheating.
It wasn’t just ‘do you hate being touched’, but ‘do you hate being touched by me,’ with full awareness of who he was to me.
There was only one answer I could possibly give—and he knew it.
There’s no way I could hate it when my friend, Im Taehwan, touched me.
The same guy who washed me, bathed me, and even changed my dirty diapers without complaint for over ten years.
I quickly shook my head.
“I don’t… I don’t hate it…”
“Thank God.”
Taehwan’s reaction was cheating too.
Maybe he’d really been afraid I would reject him entirely.
Because the moment I said I didn’t hate it, the tension melted from his face, and a soft smile bloomed.
And that smile—it was even prettier than the one he gave me yesterday when we bumped foreheads before going to shower.
I may not know much about love, but I was sure of one thing: this was the face of someone who truly, deeply loved me.
Even if the kind of “love” he felt wasn’t quite the same kind I’d thought of earlier when he brought up kissing…
“Can I touch you?”
“…Yeah.”
I couldn’t say no to him anymore—I didn’t want to.
But at the same time, I still felt a thick, unfamiliar wall between us.
These gentle touches, that kind voice—thinking that someone else had experienced them before me made something inside me twist.
Who was it, I wondered?
They must’ve been amazing—far more beautiful than me, softer, more mature.
Was that the person who made Taehwan into the adult he is now?
And I’m the only one still left behind as a child…
The more I imagined, the heavier my chest felt.
Tears welled up again, blurring my vision.
“I’ll make you feel good.”
“Ah… Huu…”
But in the end, I still liked his touch.
I liked Taehwan.
His big hands, the rough texture of them, the heat that always ran a little hotter than mine—I couldn’t resist it.
Only, it wasn’t the same as before.
It was his hand, but it didn’t make me feel even half as good as it used to.
The moans I let out were bearable, and the dizzying sensation that came with every stroke no longer overwhelmed me.
My body reacted like always, but maybe because I felt a wall between us now, I couldn’t get as excited.
I never thought I’d feel a wall with Taehwan—especially not in a moment like this.
If I had known it’d end up like this, I should’ve just endured it when my body felt strange.
I shouldn’t have asked those questions.
Regret turned to tears that streamed down my cheeks, soaking my chin in seconds.
“Jehee. Don’t cry—think sexy thoughts.”
And with that, a fresh wave of helplessness crushed me.
Taehwan always told me that—think sexy thoughts—but isn’t this already the sexiest thing we could be doing?
What more did he want me to imagine?
It just made me want to cry harder.
“I-I don’t know… I don’t have any…”
“…You don’t?”
“I don’t… I really don’t.”
“…”
“I’m… not like you…”
“Jehee.”
At the exact moment my name was called, something soft brushed against my ear.
There was no mistaking it—it was Taehwan’s lips.
His warm breath tickled my skin.
I was already heating up, but he was burning even hotter than I was.
“You know, right? …Try imagining a kiss.”
His voice carried an odd tone.
As if he somehow knew I had experience kissing someone.
…No, that couldn’t be.
Taehwan had found me that day after I parted ways with “Grey Coat.”
He probably just meant I should imagine it based on something I’d seen in a movie.
But that suggestion had exactly the opposite effect on me.
Instead of recalling the kiss with “Grey Coat,” all I could think was— ‘If Taehwan’s telling me to imagine a kiss at a time like this, then he must still have nothing but good memories about kissing me.’
Twisted as it was, that thought got stuck in my head.
—Smack.
“Ugh.”
That one short, wet sound turned the cold rationality in me into a flash of heat.
That soft something touching my ear—it was Taehwan’s lips.
Smack. Smack.
He kept kissing my ear, over and over.
Then, with his lips pressed close against it, he whispered softly,
“If you imagine it, it’ll feel even better.”
“Ah…”
As soon as those words left his mouth, a thick tongue licked my ear—slow and sticky.
Not just once, but multiple times.
My ear, now slick with saliva, made obscene squelching sounds each time Taehwan kissed it again.
And to make it worse—or better—he made a point of smacking his lips every time they met my ear.
His hot breath, the warm softness of his lips, the wet sounds they made—all of it overwhelmed me.
Just as I thought I was getting used to it, he would nibble or lick at my ear again, keeping my senses on edge.
But what got to me the most was when his tongue poked at the entrance of my ear canal.
Of course, he couldn’t actually fit it inside—his mouth was huge, big enough to say he could eat me in one bite—but he teased the outer rim enough that it felt like he was reaching deep inside.
No, more than that—it felt like he was filling not just my ear, but my whole body.
My whole head felt soaked in the indecent heat he was giving me.
* * *
