Don’t you think we are going too fast? chapter 10

My last memory was from the pitch-black night until the dawn began to break.

Three days had passed since then, and we had done even more in between.

I couldn’t remember everything because I had lost consciousness at some point. It was just… a blur.

We were both clearly insane. Or maybe we were possessed.

Otherwise, neither I nor Lee Taeshin would have done such things.

It made no sense. In my recollections, Lee Taeshin seemed like a different person.

He wasn’t calm, gentle, and kind like usual. He was rough and wild.

I had never imagined that Taeshin could lose control like that.

To me, Taeshin had always been a considerate and understanding friend. He would always think of my perspective, even when we disagreed.

The forceful Taeshin from yesterday was unimaginable.

He couldn’t be the same person.

Was it because he was an alpha?

I slapped my flushed cheeks with my hands in the bathtub, then got out to rinse off with cold water.

The coldness made my hair stand on end as I shivered and quickly jumped into bed, wrapping myself in the blankets after a cold shower in the middle of winter.

I regretted not thinking clearly.

They say if you keep your wits about you, you can survive even if a tiger bites you, but my mind was too scrambled.

If I had thought a bit more, I could have calmed my troubled mind in warm water instead.

“Sigh.”

Shaking my head, I grabbed my phone.

When I turned on the screen with my fingers, I saw a pile of messages and missed calls.

[Missed Calls: 12]

[Taeshin♥ Missed Call(12) 9:45 AM]

Twelve missed calls.

I was startled by the number of missed calls from Taeshin and checked the messages.

[Taeshin♥> Sunwoo, where are you?]

[Taeshin♥> Can’t you answer the phone right now?]

[Taeshin♥> Sunwoo]

[Taeshin♥> I just talked to your mom. Are you on your way home?]

…

[Taeshin♥> You’re still not answering]

[Taeshin♥> I’m heading to your place]

I immediately checked the time. Only about ten minutes had passed since the last message.

I quickly typed a reply to Taeshin.

[No no no]

[Don’t come]

[Don’t come]

[I’m asleep]

Buzz…

“Ah!”

As soon as I sent the reply, my phone buzzed. It was, of course, Taeshin.

Holding the phone nervously, I cleared my throat and cautiously pressed the call button.

“…Hello?”

– ……

“Hello? Hello? Did it disconnect?”

– Yeah, Sunwoo.

Just as I thought the call had disconnected due to the silence on the other end, Taeshin’s voice finally came through.

His voice was weak, almost like a sigh, and I pressed the phone back to my ear, rolling my eyes.

“Uh, I was sleeping, so I didn’t see your messages.”

– …I was worried when you disappeared so suddenly.

“Uh… yeah… sorry….”

– Did you get home safely?

“Yeah….”

– ……

There was nothing to say.

Although the call was ongoing, neither of us spoke.

– Sunwoo.

“Yeah, yeah. Taeshin. I’m going to sleep now. So even if you come over, I’ll be sleeping… Uh… Oh! You should go home and rest too. Then… uh, good night!”

– Sunw-

Click.

As soon as Taeshin called my name, I hastily blurted out my words and hung up.

It sounded like Taeshin had something more to say, but I was too scared to hear anything right now.

Lying face down on the bed, I pulled the blanket over my head. Throughout the call, I babbled nonsense.

Embarrassment and self-loathing overwhelmed me.

Feeling like I was going to lose my mind, I covered my face with the blanket and rolled around on the bed, flailing.

‘Sunwoo.’

In my mind, I replayed Taeshin’s voice.

His usual kind tone, his weak voice, his low, subdued voice, and then…

“Ahhh! I’m crazy, Moon Sunwoo! Absolutely crazy!”

My head felt like it was going to explode, and I threw another fit before collapsing.

Then, as the full-body muscle aches and the unfamiliar dull pain in unspeakable places returned, I buried myself under the blanket and shed a few tears.

‘Moon Sunwoo.’

A low, rough voice called my name.

The memory of Taeshin’s voice chasing me, out of control and pounding wildly, made my face flush and my ears burn again.

The image of last night’s Taeshin wouldn’t leave my mind.

I slept with Taeshin.

I’m doomed.

* * *

Just before falling asleep, I prayed, something I hadn’t done since I realized Santa wasn’t real.

Please, let tomorrow morning not come. Let the world end. Or let the Earth explode.

Surprisingly, morning arrived, the world didn’t end, and the Earth didn’t explode.

As expected, Santa only appears to children under seven.

In my dreams, I found a time-reversing hourglass, drew a demon summoning circle, summoned the devil king, and made a pact to destroy the world.

I even drilled into the Earth’s core and planted a massive bomb, yet the world remained intact, much to my dismay.

I still hadn’t decided how to face Taeshin, but the sun had risen.

Meanwhile, my stomach growled, so I dragged myself to the cafeteria, where Auntie An served me food.

“Sunwoo, why do you look so down today?”

“There’s a problem worse than question 31 in the language section.”

“You’re talking about the college entrance exam?”

As I agonized over the monumental life event more significant than the infamous two-answer question that caused such controversy, Auntie An looked puzzled.

I listlessly picked up my spoon and started eating the meal she had prepared, sighing deeply.

I thought I’d have no appetite, but Aunt’s cooking was delicious as always. As I chewed on pumpkin pancakes and soy-braised beef, I mulled things over.

Taeshin would definitely contact me today, if not tomorrow. I needed to decide how to act when he did. The plan was as follows:

Plan A. End the friendship.

Plan B. Pretend nothing happened.

Plan C. Auntie An was chopping off the bean sprouts’ heads. So I should… no, what am I thinking?

Lost in thought with chopsticks in my mouth, I subconsciously mimicked Auntie An.

No matter how drunk I was, having done something so absurd with Taeshin, those thoughts were too horrific.

Shaking my head to clear my mind, I returned to my room and buried my head in the bed again.

I shouldn’t have drunk when Mom told me not to.

Or I shouldn’t have stolen the wine.

Or I shouldn’t have gone to the engagement party!

No, I shouldn’t have been born at all!

Grumbling and clutching my head, I writhed in regret and despair.

In any case, there were only two choices: either end things with Taeshin as if we were strangers, or pretend nothing happened.

The easiest method seemed to be ending the friendship. Ignoring each other and pretending we didn’t know each other.

Imagining the dramatic line, ‘Let’s not see each other again. Take care,’ I felt a pang of guilt.

Ending our friendship unilaterally after making a mistake together felt too cruel.

Moreover, our parents knew each other, so it was impossible.

We were bound to run into each other and get entangled.

If we acted awkwardly, someone would surely ask what happened.

Most importantly, Taeshin and I were in the same university, in the same department.

We were destined to meet at school, so how could I face him then?

Ultimately, ending the friendship was the worst option.

The best approach was to pretend nothing happened and hope Taeshin would do the same.

But from our phone call last night, it didn’t seem likely.

He would probably want to address it somehow…

I lost my appetite.

After finishing the last bite of rice with a thick piece of galbi, I returned to my room.

I sprawled on the bed, thinking about what to do, and reread the messages Taeshin had sent me yesterday.

[Taeshin♥> Sunwoo, where are you?]

[Taeshin♥> Can’t you take my call right now?]

[Taeshin♥> Sunwoo]

…

[Taeshin♥> Are you okay?]

…

[Taeshin♥> I’m coming to your place]

Reading through yesterday’s messages, I realized he must have been worried when I suddenly disappeared.

Imagining him calling and texting, looking for me during the time I didn’t reply, I felt guilty again.

Yes, even though I did something so embarrassing with Taeshin while drunk, it wasn’t his fault.

“Sigh.”

I flipped over and picked up my phone. It was impossible to end the friendship… Just as I was re-reading the messages, a new one came in.

[Taeshin♥> Are you awake?]

[Taeshin♥> I have something to say]

“Ahh!”

A message from Taeshin. Since the chat was open, it cruelly showed that I had read his message immediately.

I clutched my phone, desperately wishing it wasn’t so, but read messages couldn’t be unread.

“No way!”

I dropped the phone on the bed and banged my head against it.

The internet, which had been so slow when downloading games, worked exceptionally fast only at times like this.

Cursing the lack of the annual network outage today, I picked up my phone.

In the meantime, Taeshin had seen that I’d read his message and was calling for me.

[Yes]

[Awake]

[Taeshin♥> Are you free today?]

[Taeshin♥> I’ll come over]

[No, no, no, no]

I hastily rejected Taeshin’s offer to come over, as I hadn’t sorted out my thoughts yet. If we talked face to face, I’d be even more flustered and unable to speak properly.

[I have a cold right now]

[Don’t want you to catch it, let’s talk by textㅋㅋㅠ]