* * *
Even after that incident, the recessive group continued acting out and being rude to Joel—only to be utterly humiliated by him in return, time and time again.
Eventually—perhaps proving they weren’t entirely incapable of learning—they lowered their tails.
At least in front of Joel.
Behind his back, they still hated and excluded him.
But Joel’s bold retaliation had unintended consequences.
Even those who’d had no ill will toward him began to feel discomfort, thinking Joel’s actions were reckless.
Before two months had even passed since entering the Imperial Academy, Joel’s reputation had hit rock bottom.
In response, Joel grew even more ruthless.
If anyone showed even a shred of disrespect, he immediately fought back.
If he couldn’t make them respect him no matter what, then he’d at least make sure they didn’t dare cross him to his face.
After three years of causing all kinds of chaos at the academy, Joel’s gentle heart had turned coarse, like rough sandpaper.
But he never once regretted his actions.
If he’d kept swallowing all that rage, he would’ve long since gone mad.
In the end, it was a choice between destroying his self-esteem or destroying his morality—and he chose the latter.
As those painful memories resurfaced, Joel unconsciously crumpled the letter in his hand.
Beside him, the butler Wycombe, shifting uncomfortably, finally spoke.
“My lord, if His Highness the Crown Prince were to see you like this, he might be displeased. Please, allow me to take the letter. I’ll keep it safe and return it when you’re calmer. And… do fix your posture.”
Wycombe had served Joel since his days as Joel Bennet, before he became Joel Lucas.
To Joel, he was more like a grandfather than a servant.
In truth, it wasn’t like the Crown Prince was present, nor was anyone around to watch, so Joel could’ve relaxed a little.
But things changed if the person in question was Joel himself.
Eyes that sought to nitpick Joel’s every move were everywhere.
Aware of this, Wycombe remained tense, nervously scanning the surroundings, afraid his master might give the Crown Prince something to hold against him.
Joel immediately frowned, his pretty face scrunching.
He had already told Wycombe he had given up on the Crown Prince, yet the man still didn’t seem to believe him.
Though it annoyed him, Joel knew better than anyone how loyal Wycombe was.
So, he handed over the letter without complaint.
Only after receiving the letter and tucking it safely into his coat did the old butler finally show a relieved expression.
In fact, it wasn’t just Wycombe—no one really believed Joel.
Everyone merely chuckled at his claim that he would no longer bother the Crown Prince.
Some even scoffed in his face, saying, “You think His Highness would pay attention to you just because you’re backing off?”
But Joel had truly let go of his feelings for the Crown Prince.
There had been a time when he longed for the prince’s affection, but not anymore.
Now, just thinking about the Crown Prince made his teeth grind.
That man, parading around in the guise of a benevolent ruler, was in reality…
“…The Crown Prince personally arranged this marriage. You are to leave immediately for Duke Julian’s estate.”
…was the very man who sold Joel off to a duke thirty-five years his senior.
Joel had always wondered why the Crown Prince—so kind to everyone else—was so cruel only to him.
Was it because Joel had poured tea on Benjamin, the Crown Prince’s long-time friend and leading candidate for Crown Princess?
Or because Joel, backed by his noble family, always forced himself into the Crown Prince’s partner slot at balls and parties?
Or perhaps because, on the night of their graduation party, Joel had found the prince deep in rut and in pain in a secluded forest—and pounced on him instead of calling the guards?
Or maybe it was the fact that, after doing so, Joel faked a pregnancy to push for a political marriage, only for the lie to be uncovered?
…Looking back, maybe he should just be grateful he hadn’t been executed.
In any case.
Joel decided to stop obsessing over why the Crown Prince hated him.
Even that kind of brooding only revealed lingering feelings.
He had already sworn to give up on his hopeless love, so it was time to discard any foolish attachments as well.
Once, from the moment he opened his eyes in the morning to the moment he closed them at night—and maybe even in his dreams—he had thought of nothing but the Crown Prince.
So how did he, of all people, come to let go like an enlightened monk?
It was thanks to a certain “special experience.”
A secret he kept to himself because no one would ever believe it… the truth was, Joel had traveled through time.
He was now living through the winter of his twentieth year for the second time.
During his first winter at twenty, Joel had been—just as people said—obsessed with the Crown Prince.
So when he found the prince collapsed in rut in the forest on the night of the graduation ball, calling the guards hadn’t even crossed his mind.
Joel had been very drunk that night.
He hadn’t been in his right mind to begin with—and when he caught a whiff of the pheromones from the man he’d loved for so long, there was no hope of controlling himself.
He rushed toward the Crown Prince and spent a fiery night in the forest with the object of his unrequited love.
When Joel trudged back to the count’s estate the next day, his adoptive father, Count Lucas, exploded with fury over the unsanctioned night out.
But the moment he found out Joel had spent the night with the Crown Prince, his demeanor shifted—unnervingly soft and calculating.
Count Lucas, who longed to seize greater power by becoming the Crown Prince’s father-in-law, proposed something outrageous: even if Joel wasn’t actually pregnant, he should pretend to be and force an engagement.
“B-But, Father. That’s a crime.”
“A crime? Ha. Living honestly is all well and good. But Joel—do you think you can win against Young Lord Benjamin fair and square?”
“…No.”
Joel wilted at the question.
Benjamin was a noble by birth, cultured, gentle, and everything the Crown Prince desired in a partner.
He was the prince’s ideal type, plain and simple.
Joel’s only edge over him was his looks and secondary gender traits.
Though opinions might differ, Joel himself firmly believed so.
“Still… if the lie gets found out…”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll find a way to get you into the Crown Prince’s palace. All you need to do is seduce him and actually get pregnant. And if you can’t, then just say you miscarried.”
Joel didn’t want to deceive the man he loved, but he couldn’t go against his adoptive father either.
And deep down, he knew this might be his one and only shot at becoming the Crown Princess.
After all, the Crown Prince had always looked down on him as vulgar and stupid.
Joel, desperate not to lose the prince, finally agreed to go along with the plan.
A month after that night in the forest, when it became clear Joel wasn’t pregnant, Count Lucas forged ahead anyway.
He faked Joel’s pregnancy and demanded an engagement from the Crown Prince.
Having already bribed the royal court’s chief physician, there was no room for doubt.
Even the Crown Prince—and the Emperor himself—had no choice but to believe Joel was really carrying the prince’s child.
The Crown Prince, upon learning the truth, seemed like he would’ve preferred prison.
But in the end, he accepted the engagement.
Thus, Joel began what he had always dreamed of—life as the Crown Prince’s consort.
Technically, they were only engaged, but still.
That one-month “honeymoon” in the prince’s palace became the happiest period of Joel’s entire twenty years of life.
The Crown Prince treated him with respect and tenderness, a stark contrast to before.
He no longer looked at Joel with disdain and even listened patiently no matter how foolish Joel sounded.
The prince’s lavish gifts of rare jewels and fine clothes stirred public concern over the emptying royal treasury.
Joel felt a twinge of guilt, but seeing the prince’s newfound warmth made him think following his adoptive father’s plan had been the right choice.
But there was one problem: the Crown Prince never laid a hand on him.
Well, not literally—he’d hold Joel in his arms while sleeping, bathe him in pheromones, and even occasionally touched him with clear sexual intent.
But he never attempted actual intercourse.
It was out of concern for the baby, of course.
The Crown Prince avoided all risky acts for fear of a miscarriage during the “early pregnancy.”
At first, Joel had been too happy to care.
But before long, anxiety crept in.
If he truly couldn’t conceive, then he would need to fake a miscarriage.
But doing that would likely prompt the Emperor to push for an annulment.
* * *
