* * *
If I had spent more time in temples myself, that might’ve been useful information.
Unfortunately, before meeting Zerbin, I lived like most adventurers—doubting whether gods even existed.
Otherwise, would the Swindlin Temple really be out in the boonies like that?
What’s a typical temple even like?
Before my regression, the demons destroyed every temple they could find, so I never got to see one in its original state.
The temple I followed Zerbin to last time—I was only there briefly.
Should I just admit I don’t know?
But telling devout Zerbin that I’ve never even prayed at a temple might make me lose major points.
That’s terrifying.
“Well, what I know about temples is superficial at best. Your firsthand experience must be completely different. I’d like to hear your perspective.”
This much curiosity should be fine, right?
A question like this should sound like something a respectful adventurer would ask out of admiration.
We’ve grown close enough for this much, surely!
Thankfully, Zerbin began speaking, albeit slowly.
“…There were a lot of children. Over twenty.”
“That many?”
Temples often take in orphans, but due to their reliance on donations, they rarely house more than ten or so children.
Over twenty?
It must’ve been a massive temple—or maybe a famous one?
Have I just been ignorant because I never cared about temples before?
Maybe they had a unique source of income, like rare medicinal herbs growing nearby.
Or perhaps the local lord was devout and donated generously.
“The high priest liked children.”
“Seriously? That’s why?”
“At first.”
Zerbin elaborated.
Once word spread that the temple was welcoming to orphans, people started abandoning children at its doorstep.
A sad story. Still, I guess the priests, being servants of the gods, couldn’t just leave the kids to die.
But what about money?
Good deeds don’t magically generate income.
“Still, it must’ve been a large temple, right? Did they have enough staff to manage?”
“It was ordinary.”
“……”
I think I already know why Zerbin’s responses feel so unsatisfactory, even though we haven’t arrived yet.
They were probably always struggling financially, weren’t they?
Not frugality—desperation drove their austerity.
Not that taking in abandoned children is a bad thing—it’s commendable.
But still…
Taking on more than you can handle without the resources to back it up—is that really okay?
It must’ve been incredibly difficult just to care for the kids.
Honestly, it’s a wonder Zerbin turned out so well.
When I asked if he respected the priests, he did say yes, so I guess they weren’t entirely bad.
“I-I guess the priests… must’ve been really dedicated. To care for all of them.”
“……”
The atmosphere was stifling.
It was clear Zerbin didn’t enjoy talking about the past.
He must not have many good memories of that place.
I was grateful he’d indulged me this much despite his reluctance.
The rest, I’ll figure out when we get there.
Zerbin told me he was planning to stop by sometime soon.
Could it be that he visits regularly?
I found myself hoping that the priest who welcomes him first might be the one he’s closest to.
“So, what’s your reason for visiting the temple? Just to say hi?”
I decided to stop probing into his childhood and change the subject.
If he wanted to talk to the priest who raised him, he could just send a letter.
If it were about making a donation, he could hire someone to deliver it for him.
Visiting regularly, though…
That must mean there’s someone he wants to see, right?
Perhaps someone who took special care of him?
Or a priest who left a positive impression on him?
Even in difficult circumstances, it’s not impossible to have at least one good guardian around!
“You.”
Zerbin’s voice turned icy, and I froze.
Was it not just his childhood but even the temple talk I should’ve avoided?
“D-Did I do something wrong?”
His gray eyes gazed at me in silence.
Even though his expression wasn’t angry, my heart raced uncontrollably in response.
Should I say I get it, he doesn’t want to talk, and drop the subject?
Maybe that would ease the tension?
“No, forget it.”
What was that about?
Zerbin turned and walked ahead, leaving me behind.
He didn’t like it when I followed behind him, so I hurried to catch up and walk beside him.
At least it didn’t turn into a bigger issue.
Feeling like I might have been too pushy, I decided to stay quiet for a while and just follow.
Unless absolutely necessary, I planned to keep it that way.
It would be troublesome if Zerbin started finding my presence annoying.
But then—
“Raul.”
I hadn’t expected him to address me first.
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name.
No way… He’s not about to tell me to leave, is he?
I don’t think I’ve done anything that bad!
“Tell me about yourself, not me.”
That was an unexpected request.
Why?
Was he just bored after silently walking for a while, even though he’s the great Zerbin?
Maybe he’s gotten used to me talking and finds it oddly comforting now.
If that’s the case, I guess it’s a good sign that he’s more open to interacting with others.
But what exactly does he mean by “my story”?
My personal info?
I can’t imagine Zerbin being interested in that.
It’s hardly the sort of thing that could alleviate his boredom.
“What exactly do you want to know?”
I wanted to make sure I understood correctly, so I asked for clarification.
“Your family.”
He answered promptly, which I appreciated.
Ah, I see.
Maybe he feels embarrassed being the only one sharing his past.
Is this his way of making things even?
If that’s the case, I don’t mind playing along.
Whether it’ll be fun or not is another matter.
“Both my parents are alive, and I’m an only child. They originally wanted three kids, but I’m the only one they had. Bit of a shame, really.”
“Shame?” Zerbin asked.
I guess, having grown up in the chaos of over twenty siblings, he might see being an only child as a blessing.
But that’s not what I meant.
“Well, imagine having one kid, only for him to grow up and insist he likes men. My parents must feel like their family line is about to end. That’s gotta sting.”
I can’t even count how many times we fought about it.
For over two years, they kept saying I was just going through a phase or that I’d change my mind if I met the right woman.
At one point, they even arranged a sudden meeting with a “nice young lady.”
I always ended up dashing their hopes, though.
“And?”
“Well, I’m twenty-eight now… So that was ten years ago.”
I paused to subtract a few years from my original age.
Going back to my energetic twenties has its perks, I suppose.
“Back then, I was full of youthful defiance. They kept nagging, so I just kissed a guy in front of them.”
“…”
“I was even ready to take it further, but my mom stopped me, saying enough was enough. Guess she didn’t want to see her kid undressing another guy.”
Zerbin’s eyes narrowed.
His gaze was far from approving.
“What? Was I out of line?”
It must’ve been rough for them, having their hopes dashed and then witnessing something so shocking.
But wouldn’t it have been worse to let them cling to false hope forever?
I thought cutting it off decisively was the responsible thing to do.
“You’ve been shameless since then.”
“…”
No, that’s not it!
Well… I can’t say he’s entirely wrong. But still!
“It’s true, but still!”
It’s true, but I don’t want to admit it! I desperately want to escape that disapproving look of his!
I haven’t been reckless since the war started, you know.
Can’t I get some credit for that?
No?
Right, because that happened before I turned back time!
Come to think of it, doesn’t the temple consider promiscuity a sin?
It probably seems indecent to someone like Zerbin, who’s so devout.
I’d just made things worse with my big mouth.
Last time, he didn’t seem too offended when I admitted I liked muscular men, even joking about sharing a bed.
I didn’t think he’d react badly this time.
Maybe twenty-eight-year-old me gets a pass, but eighteen-year-old me crosses a line for him…
I should’ve just stuck to wholesome childhood stories.
* * *
lol, it would be something else if that random guy was our dear hero lmao