* * *

Baek Gunho’s face went completely blank in an instant.

Watching his unreadable expression, I felt a wave of misery crash over me.

“Are you going to kill me now?”

“What?”

“I’m asking if you’re going to kill me. No, wait… since killing me is off the table, are you just going to break me or cut me up somewhere instead…?”

I couldn’t finish the sentence.

The memories were too vivid, too fresh in my mind.

Our win rate had always been close.

At first, I had the upper hand, but as time went on, Baek Gunho gained the edge, learning from our fights and growing stronger.

Whenever I lost, he wouldn’t kill me. Instead, he’d lock me away in a place no one could ever find.

And then, he’d render me powerless in ways so horrifying that even my S-class regenerative abilities couldn’t undo the damage.

Each time, his methods became crueler, to the point where I couldn’t tell whether he was keeping me alive or slowly trying to kill me.

Despite going through more than ten regressions, Baek Gunho never lost his humanity.

But there was one exception—when it came to me, he was utterly merciless.

Baek Gunho didn’t treat me like a human being.

And honestly, I couldn’t blame him.

To him, I wasn’t just less than human—I was the most monstrous creature imaginable.

“I won’t.”

He spoke with conviction, but I couldn’t believe him. Not one bit.

“You told me to live a good life when we first met, remember?”

“…”

“Turns out, you approached me knowing everything. You did it to stop me from… becoming what I did.”

Baek Gunho’s lips twitched, as if he wanted to deny it, but he didn’t.

He wasn’t the kind to lie his way out of things.

And because what I said was the truth, he had nothing to say.

Misery consumed me. I felt like an idiot, utterly humiliated.

Thinking I had some special connection with him when, all along, I was just part of his plan.

“So, everything good you’ve done for me… it all had a reason, huh?”

“It’s not like that.”

“I didn’t even know, and yet, I…”

I loved you.

I loved you without realizing you were only being kind to me for a purpose.

Without realizing that your kindness wasn’t personal, but just part of your grand mission.

I believed I was the most important person in your world.

And because of that, I… loved you.

“Heewon, I—”

“It’s fine. I understand.”

I cut him off.

I didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say.

But that didn’t make my words any less genuine.

“…What?”

“I’d have done the same if I were you. What other choice did you have? You did what was right. Yeah, you were right.”

I meant it.

This wasn’t just about me and Baek Gunho.

‘Seo Heewon’ was a monster who had destroyed the world multiple times, and Baek Gunho had done his best to stop that.

“I mean it. I don’t want to do anything awful like that. I can’t even imagine doing such terrible things. I’d rather die than become like that.”

To my current self, those past cycles were incomprehensibly horrific.

The old Seo Heewon had harmed people, using them as tools when it suited him.

But not me.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

I didn’t want to use anyone without hesitation.

Now, I understood what Baek Gunho had meant when he said I’d grown up too kind.

Compared to the Seo Heewon of the past, this version of me was vastly different, a much better person.

“You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“…”

“You succeeded.”

Baek Gunho’s plan had worked perfectly.

He’d eliminated the evil from the root.

I would never become the old Seo Heewon again.

Wasn’t that enough?

I bit my lip.

There was no need to feel pathetic.

Baek Gunho had simply done what he had to.

All of this was just a consequence of the old Seo Heewon’s actions.

“So… just leave me alone now. Please, I’m begging you…”

Baek Gunho had no reason to stick around anymore.

“You achieved your goal, didn’t you? You don’t need to worry—I won’t do anything bad without you around.”

“Heewon.”

“…?”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“Don’t lie!”

I shouted.

Even as the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

But once I started, I couldn’t stop.

“You stayed because you were worried! Worried that if I went back to my old self, you’d have to do the same thing all over again!”

With a face full of contempt, you’d keep me alive, barely, just so I couldn’t hurt anyone else.

“How could you stand it? Spending years pretending to be close with someone you despised…”

Flashes of the happy moments I shared with Baek Gunho crossed my mind.

Foolish, pathetic moments.

“You’d do anything if you had a purpose, wouldn’t you? You’ve stuck by me for years before. Pretending to be friends with a kid like me must’ve been nothing in comparison.”

Even as I knew I shouldn’t speak this way, ugly thoughts flooded my mind.

Baek Gunho frowned as he listened to me.

“No.”

“…?”

“I’ve never treated you like that.”

I stared at him.

I thought I knew Baek Gunho so well, but now he felt like a blank mask, expressionless and unreadable.

Sure, maybe it wasn’t all a lie.

People can grow attached to even inanimate objects they use daily.

Maybe he had some attachment to me, too.

But attachment isn’t everything.

You were the one who kept an unrelenting watch on me, knowing I was S-class.

You weren’t concerned for my safety; you were watching for a single suspicious act to destroy me.

“I mean it.”

“…?”

“Believe me, Heewon. Especially lately… I’ve never thought of you that way. I didn’t think you’d become like that.”

What nonsense.

Did you think I’d believe that? Do I look that stupid to you?

“If you fail this time…”

I bit my lip, trying not to cry.

“You’ll do the same thing to the next me in the next cycle, won’t you?”

Baek Gunho’s regression starts a year earlier than this timeline.

Unlike the Seo Heewon from the previous cycle, I hadn’t laid any groundwork to retain my memories.

I wouldn’t even remember him.

But maybe he’d do it better next time.

If he saved me before I was sold to the lab, he might get better results.

Or maybe, he’d just… start dating me early.

That way, I’d be completely under his control, even if I experienced hallucinations.

It would probably be easier for him.

“No.”

I clenched my trembling hands and looked at him.

“Why… why did you have to stay so close to me?”

We didn’t have to be best friends.

We could’ve kept a safe distance.

Then, I wouldn’t feel so humiliated.

I imagined the next Seo Heewon, unaware of everything, kissing Baek Gunho, sleeping with him.

Maybe that would be better for me, too.

No crushing weight of the past…

“I don’t regret staying close to you.”

Baek Gunho, as always, was unwavering.

Under different circumstances, I might’ve believed his sincerity.

But not now.

Not when his words felt like cruelty toward someone already in pain.

“This cycle is my last. There won’t be a next one.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Heewon.”

Baek Gunho called my name as he reached out his hand.

Instinctively, I flinched and stepped back, slapping his hand away.

“…….”

Baek Gunho’s face twisted.

I didn’t… exactly mean to do that.

I knew he wouldn’t attack me anymore—not now, anyway.

But the brutal way those hands of his once moved resurfaced in my mind, an unwanted memory flashing against my will.

The Seo Heewon of the past might have been fine.

But not the present me.

The bloodstained past was something I couldn’t adapt to, not even a little.

I looked at Baek Gunho.

His expressionless face while pinning me down and hurting me was etched clearly in my memory.

“Ugh…”

Suddenly, something inside me churned.

I bolted to the bathroom, grabbing the toilet as I dry heaved.

Nothing came out, no matter how much I wanted to empty everything.

“……Heewon.”

I heard Baek Gunho’s voice from behind me.

Maybe it was just my imagination, but it sounded like it was trembling.

Without looking back, I said to him,

“Leave.”

“…….”

“Please… just go…”

I couldn’t calm myself with him standing behind me.

“Get some rest.”

“…….”

“Rest, and let’s talk later.”

“There’s nothing I want to talk about.”

“Fine. But just rest for now.”

Baek Gunho finally left my house, spouting words I didn’t want to hear.

Even after he disappeared, my hands wouldn’t stop trembling.

“Urgh…”

I groaned lowly as I barely managed to straighten up.

My reflection in the mirror was a mess—completely unrecognizable.

I washed up and went back to my room.

Curling up on my bed, I shut my eyes tight, as if running away.

But the moment I embraced the darkness, something shot out and enveloped me.

“Ah!”

I gasped and opened my eyes, but there was nothing there.

It was just an illusion conjured up by my imagination.

“…….”

Monsters emerged from the shadows, rubbing against me as they pleased.

Tears began to fall again when I saw them.

I knew these creatures once killed people at my command, but in a way, they were just victims I had exploited.

Foolish beings that clung to me, oblivious, even after being used and discarded—only to return to me in the next cycle, just as naive.

I hugged one of them tightly, collapsing onto the bed.

The others crept closer, squeezing into the empty spaces beside me.

I didn’t want to cry, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

My past was horrific, and I hated Baek Gunho.

I knew I had no right to feel this way, but I couldn’t suppress the overwhelming disgust.

Sleep didn’t come. I stayed awake, eyes wide open, until the break of dawn.

* * *