* * *
At times like this, I wonder.
Maybe it’s a blessing that I can’t see.
Even though I just walk in circles around the hospital rooftop every day, it feels like I’m traveling somewhere new, depending on the weather.
“Feels like the perfect weather for a date. It’s spring, the flowers must be in bloom, and the temperature is just right.”
“You wanna go on a date?”
“Hmm. That’s something you should be answering, not me. Taehwan, is there anyone on your mind these days?”
“…Ha. There you go again with the weird questions.”
“No way people around you are leaving you alone. Even Eunseo calls you a certified heartthrob.”
Now that he was an adult, Taehwan came at the same time every day.
He stayed by my side until I fell asleep.
I did go to bed early, but still, he was overdoing it.
It was like he had no personal time at all.
“Lately, I’ve been thinking we should hurry and put the perfect groom on the marriage market.”
“…Are you talking about me?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect groom, my ass.”
“But you are. Good family, great education, handsome, tall, built… not to mention an Awakened.”
“I’m only B-class. And a non-combat type. I didn’t even register as a Hunter. A B-class non-combatant isn’t exactly high-tier in a marriage agency.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm…”
That was a lie.
Sure, among the Im family’s Awakened, Taehwan had the lowest class, but in the grand scheme of things, he was still in the upper classs.
Not to mention, his family background was solid.
I wasn’t the one who first called him a “perfect groom”—even people gossiping behind his back said as much.
Even if he wasn’t an outstanding Hunter, he had more than enough talent in other areas.
Taehwan was never bad at anything, even when we were kids.
He got into a great university while also helping me pass my GED.
I hesitated for a moment before tilting my head back.
Not that I would suddenly be able to see him, but at least Taehwan could see me.
He wouldn’t lie so blatantly while looking into my eyes.
But the moment I leaned back, dizziness hit me, and I had to close my eyes.
That wasn’t the plan.
I just wanted him to look at me properly.
Oh well.
“I’ll be fine on my own. The nurses and caregivers take good care of me. I can do more things by myself now, too.”
“Jehee.”
“You’ve done enough, Taehwan. Go live your life.”
“You have a fever.”
“…Huh? Fever?”
Before I could even question it, Taehwan’s hands cupped my cheeks.
His hands felt… cool.
Ever since we were kids, Taehwan had always been a little warmer than me—his body, his hands, even his cheeks.
So if his hands felt cool… that meant I was burning up.
He clicked his tongue.
“We’re going downstairs. It’s bad.”
The moment he said it, the fever hit me like a wave.
I gasped, my breath coming out hot.
I hadn’t been feeling great lately.
Fevers kept spiking.
And every time, it was over 40 degrees.
It wasn’t uncommon.
The poison that had long since seeped into my body had already taken my sight and paralyzed my lower half.
Now, it constantly threatened to break me down, as if it was ready to kill me at any moment.
Lately, the fevers had been coming more frequently.
Maybe my time was up.
Thirteen years was a long time.
When I first became the “Miracle Child,” they said I wouldn’t last three years.
Yet I made it to five.
Then eight.
Then ten.
And now, I was still alive.
Shamelessly.
“Patient Jung Jehee has a fever!”
“Get him to the isolation room!”
“Disinfection! We need to purify the poison!”
“Wear gas masks or cover your nose and mouth with wet towels!”
The VIP ward’s top floor erupted in chaos.
Doors slammed shut with loud bangs.
This was why I couldn’t leave the hospital.
Most of the time, I was fine.
But when my condition worsened, the poison inside me would seep out—through my breath, through my skin.
For non-Awakened people, it was lethal.
Which meant that until I died, or maybe even after, I might never leave this hospital.
Clang.
As soon as Taehwan carried me into the isolation room, the heavy door shut behind us with a loud metallic sound.
“I’m taking off your clothes.”
The poison didn’t just harm people—it also contaminated objects.
That’s why the isolation room was completely empty.
If I didn’t take off my clothes quickly, they wouldn’t just need washing or sterilization—they’d have to be incinerated.
So undressing was fine.
But…
“Taehwan…”
I gripped the hem of his shirt, tugging at it weakly.
His clothes were probably worth more than mine…
“You should… leave…”
“I’m Awakened.”
“But B-class… might still be dangerous…”
“…I’ll be fine. I always have been.”
That was true.
Over the years, Taehwan wasn’t with me for every single isolation, but he had been there for at least half of them.
And yet, he had never once shown symptoms.
Why was he okay?
Not long ago, a B-class Hunter came to check on me and ended up retching before passing out.
Maybe… it was because we had entered that Gate together.
Maybe that day, something had made him immune.
“How the hell am I supposed to leave you in a place like this?”
“I’m used to it now…”
“I’m not used to this.”
“You should be by now…?”
“I said I’m not used to it.”
“…Hmm.”
Lying on the bare floor, without a mattress, without a blanket, and even without clothes—he hates it.
And yet, he insists on staying with me.
Well, I guess from an outsider’s perspective, I must look pretty pitiful…
‘But isn’t it kind of ridiculous for him to act as a human mattress for me?’
After changing into more comfortable clothes, he casually lifts me onto him.
Naturally, I lean into Taehwan’s body.
The silence around us makes my heart pound.
His steady heartbeat fills the space.
And…
‘It’s cool.’
Warm Taehwan, cool Taehwan—they both feel special in their own way.
He rhythmically pats my back, as if to reassure me that he’s here.
Occasionally, he runs his hand through my hair.
It’s… so comforting.
When I finally settle down, I hear a quiet chuckle.
“Be honest. It’s better with me here, isn’t it?”
“Hmm.”
“Say it. While I’m asking nicely.”
“Wow. I always knew you were husband material, but turns out you’re also the best friend ever. I’m so lucky to have you. I can’t even begin to express my gratitude.”
“…Can you at least try to sound sincere?”
Taehwan clicks his tongue in frustration, which only makes me laugh.
…I said it as a joke, but the truth is, of course, it’s better with him here.
When I’m alone, I put on the radio or something, but… that doesn’t mean I’m not lonely.
Being sick and alone—there’s nothing more miserable than that.
Especially when you don’t know how much time you have left.
Rather than dying in this empty room, with nothing, with no one…
“You don’t have to repay me. I do this because I want to.”
“……”
No. Rather than dying in Taehwan’s arms… maybe I’d rather just die alone, quietly.
I want to be cremated, cleanly.
Before this stubborn fool rushes me to the hospital.
At this point, I worry about Taehwan more than my own mother.
I’m scared he won’t be able to handle it.
That he’ll do something reckless.
“…Taehwan.”
I hesitate, but I decide to say it anyway. Just in case.
“What?”
“If… If I die, I’ll be born as your child in my next life.”
“……What kind of bullshit is that?”
“I’m serious. I’ll beg the gods if I have to. I’ll be born as your child. So… when I’m gone, you… date someone, get married… ugh. Have a kid, and love them a lot, okay?”
“Shut up. No one’s dying. You’re not dying!”
It’s not bullshit.
I mean it.
Raising Eunseo and Eunyul, I’ve realized just how precious children are.
So, if I get to be reborn, I want to be that kind of blessing to Taehwan.
And later… when he grows old and needs help, I want to be there for him.
I want to stay by his side.
That’s my third dream.
But it seems like Taehwan doesn’t like my carefully thought-out dream.
He lets out an annoyed sigh, his voice sharp as he spits out his words.
“Don’t die. Don’t even talk about dying.”
“…Why? I could die.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Just don’t.”
“……”
“Hey, Jung Jehee. Answer me. Promise you won’t think about that kind of crap again.”
“……”
“Don’t talk like you’re giving up. Swear to me that you’ll never give up on yourself. Trust me. No matter what, I’ll find a way to make you happy.”
“……”
When I barely survived the gate incident, was labeled as disabled, and then given a terminal diagnosis—I thought, at least I made it back.
At least I survived, and I could be with the people I love.
Whether it was three years or three months, I swore I’d live my life to the fullest.
But… wasn’t an extra ten years a bit much?
I’ve lived too long.
So… isn’t it okay if I die now?
“…Yeah. Sorry…”
It’s a secret.
A secret from my kind, foolish friend.
* * *
