* * *
Looking out the window, Robin saw the sun slowly setting.
The pale moon, which had been separate from the sun, peeked out faintly.
“Shall we talk outside, then? It’s so warm inside that I keep feeling drowsy.”
The two of them stepped outside and walked in silence for a while.
Robin was carefully choosing his words, while Lowell waited for him to speak.
“It’s been a hectic day, hasn’t it? I’m sorry.”
“Like I said, it’s fine. I assume His Highness said something to you?”
“How did you know?”
Robin abruptly stopped walking.
“There’s no one else I can think of who would trouble you this much.”
“Ah, I see.”
Robin stared blankly at the distant snow-capped mountains before finally speaking again.
“His Highness said he’s going to make me the Crown Princess.”
Lowell’s mouth fell open.
That was certainly something shocking enough to leave Robin flustered.
‘Normally, he wouldn’t even give advance notice. He’d just prepare everything as he pleased and then issue an order to comply. Is this a butterfly effect?’
A gulping sound was heard.
“Do you not want that, Robin?”
“Huh? It’s not that, it’s just… I’m not suited for that position. Neither in status nor personality.”
Robin, as a servant of the imperial family, was technically a noble.
However, he lacked much of what was expected of a Crown Princess, and no one knew that better than himself.
He had never regretted his low status, but the thought of standing beside the Crown Prince made his vision go dark.
“That doesn’t really matter.”
Lowell’s voice was firm, almost too certain for someone lost in worry.
“What?”
“Is he the type of person to insist on doing something impossible?”
“No.”
“Then if he says he will make you the Crown Princess, it must mean it’s possible. He’s also probably prepared to handle the risks that come with it. Don’t you think?”
“That does sound like him. He always finds a way.”
It was true that the Crown Prince was highly capable, but Lowell felt Robin was looking at him through rose-colored glasses.
“Then set aside the external issues. What matters is whether you want this or not.”
“But if I do, I’ll end up being his only stain.”
Lowell thought to himself, ‘His personality is already a stain, so what does he mean by only stain?’ but he kept the thought to himself.
Robin wouldn’t have said that if he wanted to hear something bad about the person he liked.
“Then ask yourself—do you want to stay by his side even if it means being a stain? Or would you rather leave than be one? That is, if he even lets you go.”
It wasn’t a choice Lowell could make for him.
“Don’t think about it too heavily. I’m not exactly a fitting partner for the Grand Duke either, but here I am, shamelessly staying by his side, aren’t I?”
He couldn’t solve the problem, but he could at least make it feel simpler and lighter.
Thanks to Lowell’s playful tone, Robin finally let out his usual clear laughter.
Strictly speaking, their situations weren’t entirely comparable, but—
“Thank you.”
“It wasn’t much. I didn’t actually help, did I?”
Lowell wasn’t being modest—he was speaking sincerely.
“People say words can save someone. Besides, you helped me earlier when I almost got hurt. I have a lot to be grateful for today.”
“Anyone would’ve done the same. Robin, you even fell into the lake in my place.”
Robin shrugged and glanced at Lowell, who was staring off into the distance.
For some reason, this beautiful and kind person looked a little lonely.
“You really are kind, Lowell.”
By now, the sun had fully set, and stars filled the sky.
Lowell lifted his head to gaze at them, but they kept blurring behind his breath, which made him feel strangely wistful.
“That’s only because you’re the kind of person who sees me that way, Robin.”
“What? Why would you say that? Anyone would see you as kind!”
Robin’s voice had regained its usual brightness, as if his earlier worries had lifted.
Lowell, relieved by Robin’s resilience, straightened his neck from where he had tilted it back.
“Anyone can say nice things. But wanting to be a good person and actually being one are different. I only pretend to be one because I know I’m not. If that still helped you, then that’s all that matters.”
Lowell immediately regretted speaking.
Maybe it was because it had been on his mind so much lately, or maybe it was because Robin, of all people, made him feel particularly inadequate. His mouth had been too quick.
“Even if you’re just pretending, that’s fine with me. You’re still a good person to me!”
“Huh?”
“Honestly, from my perspective, what’s the difference? It’s not like you act kind in front of me but do terrible things behind my back. If you’re just pretending to be good and it ends there, then how is that any different from actually being good? In fact, doesn’t that make you even more impressive? Have some confidence, Lowell!”
Lowell stared at Robin with his mouth slightly open, caught off guard.
Robin was calling him out for being too harsh on himself.
“You see me as a good person, right?”
“Yes.”
“That’s probably because you’re not me. You judge me based on my actions, right? But when it comes to yourself, you judge your thoughts as well. That’s why you’re so critical of yourself. You can never know what’s in someone else’s head, but you know your own.”
Robin had a point.
Lowell had always known this logically, but he had never internalized it emotionally.
And hearing it now—from someone he considered an ideal person—made something stir inside him.
The breath that had been escaping Lowell’s lips came to a stop.
“Thank you for saying that.”
A wind blew over the self-doubt, the fear that he wasn’t worthy of love, the loneliness he had buried beneath the mask of a better person.
Tiny fragments of those feelings were carried away.
‘Maybe I am a little kind and considerate. Maybe this version of me isn’t entirely fake.’
That thought unexpectedly put Lowell at ease.
“I only spoke the truth! Ah, His Highness is coming outside.”
Robin nodded toward the entrance of the Grand Duke’s castle.
Felix, who had been squinting against the night, relaxed the moment he spotted Lowell.
“Felix!”
His steps grew quicker, and by the time he reached Lowell, he was practically running.
They hadn’t even been apart for long, but his movement was filled with longing.
As Felix draped his coat over him, Lowell calmed his swirling thoughts.
Somehow, he felt like he could love Felix even more than before.
That night, Lowell had an incredibly happy dream.
In it, he and Felix sat together in a greenhouse, basking in the sunlight.
In Felix’s arms, a child—still faint and undefined—was nestled close.
A week after the Crown Prince’s departure, peace seemed to have returned to the Grand Duke’s castle.
The only notable event was the expected arrival of a tailor.
“I’m hungry.”
Until Lowell, reading a book, suddenly uttered those words.
“It’s not lunchtime yet, but are you feeling peckish? If you want something, I’ll have it prepared.”
“Ah, no… It’s not really that I’m hungry.”
“But you just said you were? You don’t have to hold back.”
In truth, he wasn’t hungry.
‘To be precise, it’s not hunger… I just feel like eating something.’
* * *
