KYDC chapter 17

“Huh? If I had to choose between being scared or not, I’d honestly say I was scared. But now that we’re talking about it calmly, it doesn’t seem as difficult as before.”

“Not right now.”

When I reflexively answered honestly, the Grand Duke gave a bitter smile.

“No, that’s a lie. You still don’t trust me, do you? Even after I wrote the oath for you.”

Even though I said I wasn’t scared, his immediate and firm denial annoyed me a bit, possibly due to the alcohol.

“It’s true. I think you’re the one who’s had too much to drink, Your Grace.”

At that, Hernan looked down at me with troubled eyes. After a long silence, he finally spoke.

“Mister Everdeen, do you know why I was excluded from my brothers’ power struggle?”

Of course, I didn’t know. Wasn’t it because you were the youngest by a significant margin?

If I were an avid fan of the original story or had thoroughly read through it, I might have known the reason.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t, so I didn’t know the details.

“No, I don’t really know.”

I had no idea where this conversation was going.

Just as I was beginning to feel the urgency to end this situation, Hernan let out a long sigh and continued.

“I was born to a different mother than my brothers.”

I choked on the cordial I was sipping at his sudden bombshell.

“What?”

“My mother was a maid who hadn’t been in the castle for long. She was very weak and not very competent, so I heard she was despised by the Duchess. My mother ran away from the castle while she was pregnant with me, and after a long period of hiding, her health deteriorated further, and she passed away without being able to return to the castle.”

I quickly rolled my eyes. So that was his backstory… It was the perfect tragic tale for a male lead in a romance fantasy novel.

The original story’s main plot revolved around a man with such a tragic past, who denied love and became obsessed with the female lead.

But that was the perspective of someone outside the story.

Now, as an insider, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It was clear what fate awaited a noble born to someone of lower status.

He’d either follow his lower-born parent’s status and be excluded from recognition as a noble or be quietly eliminated as a disgrace to the family.

I knew that the South was relatively lenient toward illegitimate children, allowing them to live as middle-class citizens even if they couldn’t become heirs.

But in the conservative North, the situation was different.

“That’s…”

“Thanks to my father’s white hair, which I inherited, I was lucky enough to return to the castle. I looked so much like my father that I was publicly declared as the Duchess’s child, not an illegitimate one. But neither my father, my brothers, nor the Duchess ever intended to accept me as a true family member.”

“……”

I felt both pity and the inability to find comforting words easily.

It was our family’s member who had added to his already tough life by abandoning the engagement.

I rubbed my face in frustration and stayed silent.

“Isn’t it ironic? I was supposed to be the half-wit who couldn’t even dream of competing for this position. But thanks to my brothers’ self-destruction, I ended up with this undeserved status.”

I immediately refuted Hernan’s self-deprecating words.

“It’s not ironic. I don’t know how difficult it must have been for you to reach this point, as I was chosen as the heir from a young age. But I believe you went through much harsher times than I can imagine. So it’s not ironic at all. You’ve endured well.”

Hearing my words, Hernan gave a bitter smile and a small, thin tear rolled down his cheek.

How could someone so beautiful even cry so beautifully?

His tears, like pearls, fell onto the table, and though I wasn’t infatuated, I felt my heart tighten as if it were being squeezed. His face was truly enchanting.

“Now, there’s no one left in the world who knows that I’m an illegitimate child. So, you could say you’re the only one who holds my weakness, Mister Everdeen. Now, will you trust me?”

The atmosphere had suddenly become heavy, and I gently stroked Hernan’s back to comfort him.

“Your Grace, I think you’ve had too much to drink. Let me guide you to your room…”

Just then, Hernan grasped my hand and shed more tears.

“No one would want someone like me, would they? Even if no one knows my secret, I can’t hide the filthy blood that runs through my veins. That’s why Ms. Berta left me.”

This was maddening. I hugged Hernan tightly and patted his back.

“That’s not true. You’ll find a good match soon, Your Grace.”

But the Grand Duke immediately denied it.

“No. It’s too late. No one in this land would want to marry a man with such a disgraceful secret as mine.”

Perhaps it was because the former Grand Duke was notoriously warlike. The rumors about Hernan, who succeeded him, were just as terrifying.

Some of them were spread by him, but others were added by gossipers.

They said he beheaded his two brothers with his own hands, or that the former Grand Duke, who was known to have died of natural causes, was actually killed by Hernan.

It wasn’t surprising that Berta, who had no parents, was also caught in this scandal.

I couldn’t find any comforting words, so I carefully patted Hernan’s broad, solid shoulder, which looked unusually forlorn.

“I apologize once again for what happened with Berta. But I don’t think she ran away because she disliked you, Your Grace. It was a political marriage, after all. There’s nothing we can do about someone who’s already gone… I’m sure you’ll find a good match.”

Hernan, who had been resting his head on my shoulder, finally lifted his head to look at me.

His eyes, as clear and blue as ice, trembled as they stared at me.

The large tears that filled his eyes flowed down his cheeks.

“Is there anyone who would want someone as wretched as me? My bloodline is tainted, my face is lowly, and all I have is a barren land and a title.”

What nonsense. How could you think your face is lowly?

If I didn’t hold onto my sanity, your looks could easily enchant anyone, regardless of gender or age.

Hearing someone so stunning express insecurity about his appearance made me frown. This was clearly a deception.

“What are you talking about? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, Your Grace. I’m not just flattering you; I truly mean it. I can vouch for it with the eyes of the chief manager of the Empire’s top resort.”

As I pulled up my sleeve and wiped away Hernan’s tears as if to stop them, he closed his wet eyelashes, then opened them again, and held my hand.

“I’m a skeptical person, so I don’t believe words that can’t be proven. Aren’t you the same, Mister Everdeen?”

Ugh… Even though I couldn’t tell if it was true or not, I couldn’t argue if I had insisted while drunk that he needed to write an oath to prove it.

I bit my lip and averted my gaze.

If I kept looking into those transparent eyes, I felt like I’d be drawn in by everything he said.

Just as I was about to pull my hand away out of fear, the Grand Duke tightened his grip on my wrist and held it firmly. I sighed inwardly and asked,

“What do I have to do for you to believe me? Should I write you an oath too? The heir of Nirvan will faithfully prove the beauty of the successor of Velon?”

At that moment, Hernan, still holding my wrist, pushed me backward, causing my body to tilt toward the sofa.

What… What’s happening?

Hernan, with his flushed face, was leaning over me, trapping me beneath his arms.

“Don’t push me away.”

“……?”

Just as I tilted my head in confusion, Hernan’s knee parted my legs and slipped between them.

“If I’m not as wretched as you claim, then you should accept me.”

“?????”

No, why did it end up like this when I said it wasn’t ugly?

Before I could even resist, my wrist was pinned by Hernan’s hand, and I was pressed down by his weight, unable to escape his embrace.

His firm yet rounded knee gradually moved up from my knee, rubbing against my thigh muscles.

Finally, as the weight pressed down towards where my underwear was arranged, my lips parted, and a soft breath escaped.

“Ah, ugh….”

Hernan seized the moment, tightening his grip on my wrist and kissing me.

Perhaps it was because I had just been drinking a sweet beverage that was almost like a drink.

The breath of another person flowing into my mouth was excessively sweet.

“…Mister Everdeen.”

When our lips finally parted, Hernan whispered, pressing his tightened chest even closer.

“Please don’t push me away.”

Wait, hold on a moment, excuse me?

Having lived as Jurgen, with a decidedly ascetic lifestyle, my overly sensitive reaction was an unavoidable reflex.

It’s not that I lack desire, but with no fixed fiancee and planning to marry before my late twenties, I had always resolved matters on my own.

This was the first time, even including when I lived in Korea, that my body was touched by someone else.

“Wait, Your Grace…!”

“Please….”

The moment my eyes met Hernan’s, my heart tightened painfully. I couldn’t refuse his plea.