* * *
When the quest first appeared, I was a little caught off guard.
The “holy energy” mentioned in the quest was undoubtedly the same energy I had sensed when I used my divine power to search the area before.
It made me wonder— how had the ancient gods figured that out?
‘It’s unsettling.’
One thing was certain: Noah and the other ancient gods had been watching me all along.
But why couldn’t I communicate with them anymore?
And why had the quest only appeared after I met the possessed Kim Minsoo?
There were too many unanswered questions. But for now, I decided to focus on the quest in front of me.
Since the quest appeared, I had been searching for the holy energy every night.
The closer I got to it, the more I realized that my own divine power was present in that area.
A significant concentration of divine energy had gathered in one place.
‘The only place that could hold my divine power… is the Royal Academy.’
After all, the relics I had sent to Raizen were kept there.
“Oh my, I was just about to tell you— Sei, next week, Raizen will be presenting his graduation thesis at the academic conference. The family received an invitation.”
“My brother?”
“Yes, that’s what I heard.”
A graduation thesis presentation at the academic conference.
It was obvious he had been chosen for an outstanding thesis.
When I glanced at the Duchess, she was smiling proudly.
‘Family, huh…’
I was getting used to being tied to the Pantheons.
But thinking of Raizen and me as part of the same family felt… strange.
Like forcing two puzzle pieces together when they clearly didn’t fit.
“Wow… My brother really is amazing.”
I had hoped to visit the Academy without Raizen noticing, but that seemed impossible now.
Just then, the Duchess spoke again.
“If you prefer, you could also apply for a visit under the pretense of an academic tour. Would that be more comfortable?”
It was as if she had read my mind.
I almost turned to her in surprise but managed to keep my composure and slowly shook my head.
“No. I want to see my brother’s thesis presentation.”
It would be easier to blend in if I went with them rather than alone— especially during a crowded event like the conference.
If I disappeared for a while, no one would notice.
‘After all, I have the invisibility necklace.’
I never thought I’d end up using it like this.
On the day of our departure for the Royal Academy, a cold winter rain drizzled down from the early morning.
They said winter rain was rare in the western region.
Under umbrellas, we made our way through the falling raindrops and climbed into the carriage.
Thanks to the warmth spell inside, my cold body was quickly enveloped in heat.
Since the distance between the duchy and the Royal Academy was quite far, we had to stay overnight.
Apparently, we would be staying in a hotel directly connected to the Academy’s city.
As the carriage pressed forward through the rain, its steady rocking made me drowsy.
Eventually, I drifted into a light sleep.
[Please, love only me. Let only me be special to you. Okay? You love me more than anyone else…]
[You shouldn’t have told me this secret. You made me believe I was special to you. So why did you tell me? Were you testing me?]
[I hate you so much. I hate you to the point I can’t bear it.]
“……?”
I suddenly woke up.
I was still inside the carriage.
The sound of rain pattering against the window filled my ears, and the air inside was warm.
“Sei, you can sleep a little more.”
The Duchess gently patted my shoulder.
Her warmth made me close my eyes again, slipping back into sleep.
‘Just now… I think I was dreaming…’
The city of Ether, built around the Royal Academy.
Since the novel started after the Academy years, it had never been described in detail.
But now, seeing it in person, the city had a sophisticated, scholarly atmosphere.
The neatly paved roads and even the most ordinary buildings looked like something out of the Renaissance era.
The streets were filled with students in Academy uniforms.
Some carried piles of books on their backs, while others stuffed sandwiches into their mouths as they speed-walked.
They were all different in their own ways, but one thing was the same— their faces were exhausted beyond their years.
Even so, I found it hard to take my eyes off them through the carriage window.
‘Am I… jealous?’
Back then, I had studied only to please my mother.
Just the thought of sitting at a desk made me nauseous.
But I did remember enjoying reading books and discussing them.
‘I wanted to major in literature when I went to university.’
Maybe that’s why, in the dream I had during my four-year-long sleep, I had majored in Korean literature.
I wasn’t sure if I had actually gone to college in Korea.
The only thing I truly remembered as reality was the time I spent running away, living in a different city.
‘But before that… I died.’
Getting hit on the head with a soju bottle by the man I called my father.
That meant every memory after that was fake too.
‘How much of my life there was real, and how much was just a lie?’
I didn’t want to think too deeply about it.
The more I did, the more I started doubting even the memories I had believed to be real.
“Sir?”
Mila’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
Looking around, I realized I was already in the hotel room assigned to me.
‘Ah…’
I must’ve been lost in thought for too long.
Seeing Mila’s worried expression, I smiled to reassure her.
“I think I’m just a little tired from the long carriage ride.”
“Are you sure? You’re not feeling unwell?”
“I’m fine. Really.”
Mila still looked like she wanted to say something, but after hesitating for a moment, she simply smiled back.
“Then, please get some rest. I’ll come to fetch you for dinner later.”
“Alright. You should rest too, Mila.”
After seeing Mila off, I immediately lay down on the hotel bed.
It was the kind of high-end hotel I had never even visited back when I lived in Korea, but none of that really mattered to me.
I was just… exhausted.
In my dream, I was a god loved by every being in existence.
When I smiled, the world smiled with me.
When I wept, the moon waned, and the rain fell.
But there was one being who did not love me.
Mistletoe.
[You are already loved by everything else in this world, aren’t you? Then wouldn’t it be fine if I was the only one who didn’t love you? After all, I am just Mistletoe.]
That was what he said.
And I respected his words.
Even though, because of him, I ended up with a fatal weakness—a wound from Mistletoe could kill me, despite being a god.
Still…
‘If I had known that telling him this would put him to the test… I wouldn’t have done it.’
The thought surfaced in my mind, yet it felt as if it belonged to someone else.
It carried a deep, aching regret.
As I was lingering on those words, a sharp pain suddenly pierced through my heart.
I turned around.
Standing there, with an icy expression, was Raizen.
“…!!”
My body jolted awake.
Cold sweat clung to my forehead, a single drop trailing down my cheek before settling on my chin.
“Haa… Haa…”
My breath came out ragged.
As if possessed, I clutched at my chest.
There was no wound. No sign that I had been stabbed.
And yet… my heart ached as if it had been split apart.
“Sir! You’re awake?”
Mila’s voice rang out suddenly.
I looked up to see her setting down a glass basin filled with water and a towel on the table before rushing over to me.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fi…”
I stopped mid-sentence without realizing it.
Mila’s face… something about it was off.
“Mila… was I not waking up, even when you tried to wake me?”
At my careful question, Mila hesitated before covering her mouth with one hand and nodding.
“…Ah. I’m sorry.”
“No, Sir. You don’t have to apologize. It’s just… you’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. That’s what worries me.”
‘Sleeping more…? Me?’
I hadn’t even noticed.
But thinking back, Mila was right.
‘I thought I was just tired from using too much divine power while scouting…’
Had I really been sleeping more than usual? W
hy hadn’t I noticed?
Was it because of the strange dreams that vanished from my memory the moment I woke up?
For now, reassuring Mila and the Duke’s family was my priority.
I gently took her hand and said,
“Mila, actually… I’ve been secretly training my divine powers lately. That’s probably why I’ve been so exhausted. But I promise, it’s nothing like before. You don’t have to worry.”
“…Sir.”
“Really. There’s nothing else wrong.”
Perhaps my words had convinced her, because Mila gave a small nod.
“Still, please don’t overwork yourself.”
“I won’t. And… the Duke and Duchess must have been worried too.”
“I’ll let them know you’re alright. Oh, right—are you hungry? Should I bring you something light to eat?”
I wasn’t particularly hungry.
But the look in Mila’s eyes—practically begging me to eat something—made it impossible to refuse.
“…Alright. Maybe some stew, or something easy to eat?”
“Of course, Sir. I’ll bring it right away.”
Mila quickly left the room.
Watching her disappear down the hall, I suddenly glanced down at my hands.
I flexed my fingers, then touched my face, murmuring softly,
“…Ah. Ah.”
‘I am me. Right now… I am myself.’
Ever since I started sleeping more, I had been having these strange dreams.
I could never remember their contents, as if someone had wiped them from my mind.
But the sensations they left behind… were disturbingly clear.
Even the feeling of being something—someone—other than myself.
* * *
