* * *
Sean’s lips in Raizen’s mind, were like ripe fruit.
Slowly, with deliberate care, Raizen imagined exploring them.
If he pushed too hard, Sean would surely be startled and flee.
Knowing this, even in his fantasies, Raizen couldn’t treat Sean carelessly.
If he acted on impulse and ended up breaking Sean or driving him away, he knew he would fall apart completely.
“Haa… Hah…”
His grip tightened as his hand moved over his arousal.
The slick, rhythmic sound echoed in his ears.
The more he indulged in his fantasy of Sean, the faster his hand moved, and with it, the intensity of his pleasure heightened.
In his imagination, Sean’s untouched entrance was already wet.
Teasing without penetration, he watched as the imagined Sean furrowed his brows, his flushed face urging him on.
Unable to resist any longer, Raizen finally gave in.
“Ngh…!”
The moment he pushed into that damp heat, an overwhelming sense of fulfillment washed over him.
Ah…
‘Fragile yet strong, my Sean.’
He savored the imagined sensation of Sean, moving between gentleness and forcefulness, waiting until he reached the peak of pleasure.
And in that moment, Raizen released.
When he opened his eyes, the dreamlike fantasy vanished as if it had never existed.
What remained was the sticky mess in his hand, the dampened shower robe, the chilling silence… and emptiness.
“……”
Raizen furrowed his brows, biting his lower lip before letting out a sigh.
He didn’t feel any newfound sense of guilt.
Sean had never been his younger brother—not from the beginning.
The Pantheon family had adopted Sean solely as a means to keep him safe until he reached adulthood.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So then, why did he feel so awful?
Raizen, usually not one to dwell on thoughts, found himself sinking into contemplation.
‘Is it because it’s all just a fantasy?’
But this filthy feeling didn’t stem merely from emptiness.
No, it was…
At that moment, the thought struck him.
‘Why does it even matter? Sean will only ever look at that mysterious man, anyway.’
A sudden surge of heat spread through Raizen’s chest.
He barely had time to process how naturally that thought had come to him—like a whisper from someone at his side.
All he could see was Sean’s expression when he was with that faceless man, and it made Raizen’s insides churn.
“…Hah.”
The thirst returned, a craving that only grew the more he ignored it.
Raizen swallowed dryly.
The heat within him slowly took over his body. If he let himself be consumed by it completely—
‘Just take him. Why are you hesitating? Violate him, bind him, make sure he can never leave you…’
The thought echoed in his mind as if it had been waiting for the right moment.
‘Why hold back? Why—’
‘Shut up.’
He silenced himself.
He felt like he was losing his mind.
Barely restraining his impulses, Raizen forced himself to think of Sean.
Why not take him by force?
Why was he afraid of surrendering to these urges?
‘Because if I do… Sean will leave me forever.’
The moment he seized Sean through force, he would lose him completely.
Even though he didn’t fully understand what he truly wanted, this much he knew.
And it was only because of that knowledge that he could endure.
‘It’s fine. Sean has nowhere else to return to now.’
Clinging to that petty reassurance, Raizen pulled himself up.
Raizen and Sean—both blinded by their own emotions and fears—couldn’t truly see each other.
Their hearts, never meeting, continued on parallel lines.
That was the kind of night it was.
∗ ∗ ∗
The day after the party, Raizen returned to the Royal Academy.
Claiming I wasn’t feeling well, I used it as an excuse not to see him off.
But I couldn’t avoid him when he came to my room before leaving.
‘Sei, are you asleep?’
Ridiculously, I pretended to be.
Raizen stood over me for a moment, gazing down in silence before leaving with a single parting remark.
‘See you soon.’
I had no idea when ‘soon’ would be.
It had already been about two weeks, and I hadn’t heard from him. In the meantime, I had arranged for another sacred artifact to be sent to him.
Since the task was entrusted to a reliable servant of the ducal house, there was no concern about the artifact’s existence being discovered.
I hadn’t expected a letter confirming he received it.
In fact, I hoped he wouldn’t send one.
That way, I could force myself to move on without distractions.
And so, the days passed, and the calendar turned.
“How about we keep my birthday quiet this year?”
At my suggestion, the Duke and Duchess of Pantheon stiffened.
Avoiding their gazes, I continued with my rehearsed explanation.
“I just… I don’t want a big party. I’d rather spend it quietly, just with family.”
Family.
Even as I said it, I questioned if it was the right word.
On paper, I was their child, but I knew the circumstances of my adoption.
I had never once called them ‘Mother’ or ‘Father.’
‘And I probably never will.’
Thinking that, I shifted my gaze back to them.
‘Huh?’
What I saw was the couple struggling to mask their emotions.
“Ahem, by family, you mean…?”
It was the Duke who spoke first, avoiding my eyes—something unusual for him.
“You mean… us?”
The Duke of Pantheon looked almost embarrassed.
No, more than that, he looked overwhelmed.
‘Is he… happy?’
If my senses weren’t failing me, that was the face of someone trying to contain joy.
The sight of it melted away the last of my uncertainties.
‘Oh. They really do think of me as family.’
Some might say I should have known from their actions, but experiencing it firsthand felt entirely different.
Maybe, when it came to parent-child relationships, I was still like a child myself.
“Yes…! Of course.”
Their reaction gave me the courage to continue.
“Um… The former Marquis Kreveta probably won’t be able to come, but if he can, I’d like him to be there too.”
During Raizen’s coming-of-age ceremony, neither the former Marquis Kreveta nor any members of the Kreveta family attended.
This only fueled rumors that relations between Kreveta and Pantheon had soured over the years.
‘Though, that was intentional.’
The former Marquis had identified enemies within his own family.
To avoid suspicion, he deliberately distanced himself from the Duke of Pantheon, playing a passive role.
As if waiting for this, certain factions pushed the issue of the White Wolf Trading Company’s rights onto the agenda.
Thus, the former Marquis had refrained from attending Raizen’s ceremony, allowing the rumors to spread.
He had even advised trusted vassals and branch families not to attend, ensuring that only those truly loyal to Kreveta remained uninvolved.
Now, the rumors had completely caught fire, and all that was left was to find those who had been waiting for the opportunity to raise their heads.
Originally, things were supposed to proceed differently and much earlier, but it had been delayed because I had fallen into a long sleep.
I first heard about it when Raizen’s coming-of-age ceremony was approaching. I was told not to find it strange.
Because of this, the former Marquess of Kreveta wouldn’t be able to officially attend my birthday party either.
“Since he wouldn’t be able to attend officially anyway, I was wondering if there was any need to make it such a big event. Ah, of course, if it’s necessary from the family’s perspective, then we should do it…”
Raizen Pantheon’s coming-of-age ceremony had been grand. If my birthday party were too small in comparison, people would definitely talk.
In the end, they’d say things like, “Well, he’s adopted, so it’s inevitable,” or, “He’s going to be disowned soon anyway…” Mostly, unpleasant remarks about me.
“Sei, we don’t need to do anything just because of other people’s opinions.”
The Duchess answered kindly.
She stood up from her seat and sat beside me, carefully studying my face before asking,
“But the important thing is— is this truly what you want?”
“……”
“Can I take your words to mean that you just want to spend time with your family in a quiet setting?”
I nodded immediately.
“Yes, that’s right.”
‘Though, honestly… I had a different reason for saying that.’
There were several reasons.
First, I didn’t want Kim Minsoo using my birthday party as an excuse to visit again.
Second, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with another large-scale party.
And most importantly… I was going to leave soon, anyway.
More than anything, I didn’t want to leave behind even the slightest trace of Shane Pantheon’s existence.
But there was no need to say all that out loud.
“Alright. Then let’s do it that way.”
“I agree as well.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank us. It’s only right to do what you want.”
The Duchess gently patted my head.
I smiled and brought up what I had planned to say next.
“Also… would it be possible for me to visit the Royal Academy?”
“The Academy?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t to see Raizen.
It was because of a quest.
[Quest:
Find the Sacred Beast’s Egg
—Follow the holy energy
—Obtain the Sacred Beast’s Egg (0/1)
Reward: A Hint
ㅎㄱㄷ]
I had a feeling the Sacred Beast’s Egg was inside the Royal Academy.
* * *
