* * *
Was it a coincidence?
Even from this distance, Kaindel could see Isa’s silver eyes as clearly as ever.
To find Isa now, of all times—was it fate’s cruel jest?
How long had Isa been watching?
The thought gnawed at him, and an odd sense of urgency stirred.
“Isa.”
“What?”
Vivienne blinked at the sudden mention of a name that had nothing to do with their ongoing conversation.
Her confusion was evident.
But Kaindel had no time to care about Vivienne.
Suppressing the sensation of his composure crumbling beneath him, Kaindel swallowed thickly, anxiety gnawing at his insides.
His gaze stayed fixed on Isa, who stood by the banquet hall’s entrance, motionless.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away, as if trying to etch Isa’s image into his memory.
Isa wore his usual simple attire—a light, flowing shirt and fitted trousers that cinched neatly at the waist.
His hair, combed slightly more neatly than usual, hinted at a small effort to tidy up.
Yet, his appearance betrayed no indication of being prepared for the evening’s event.
Kaindel suppressed his doubts.
He had sent someone to assist Isa, knowing this was likely his first banquet as a commoner.
Yet, looking at him now, it was clear Isa hadn’t received—or perhaps hadn’t accepted—that help.
Was that why he was late?
As Kaindel’s eyes roved over Isa out of habit, Isa seemed to muster what little composure he had, forcing a faint smile when their eyes met.
But the facade crumbled quickly, his expression twisting into something raw and unguarded—a face full of emptiness.
The sight of that familiar expression sent a chill down Kaindel’s spine.
It was an ominous feeling.
A faint ringing filled his ears.
“Let me go.”
Kaindel took a step toward Isa, only to be stopped by Vivienne’s grip.
He scowled deeply, no longer caring how he might appear to others.
On his face, devoid of any pretense of composure, Vivienne flinched.
“Hero…”
“Let go, damn it.”
Before Vivienne could finish, Kaindel cut her off.
His urgency stemmed from Isa, who had abruptly turned and was now leaving the banquet hall.
Kaindel watched him until the doors closed, blocking him from view.
The sensation of the swamp rising from his feet to his chest suffocated him, and he clenched his fists tightly.
Taking advantage of the moment Vivienne’s grip slackened, he broke free and chased after Isa.
“Haah.”
Kaindel first went to Isa’s room.
Given Isa’s unfamiliarity with the mansion and his unsettled state, it seemed the most logical place for him to go.
Even in his haste, Kaindel didn’t run, his long strides sufficing to cover ground quickly.
But Isa wasn’t there.
As Kaindel’s confidence waned, his pace quickened.
“Where could you have gone?”
Next, Kaindel headed to the garden.
If not his room, the garden was the next likely place.
Isa loved the garden, so much so that on the day Kaindel regained consciousness, Isa had wandered there, oblivious to the biting winter cold.
Surely, Isa would be there now, crying quietly among the plants.
Kaindel firmly believed this.
If he found Isa in the garden, he’d comfort and apologize to him.
He’d explain that Vivienne’s behavior was unplanned, that he hadn’t intended for Isa to witness such a scene.
He’d assure Isa that the only one he cared for was him.
Isa was kind, so Kaindel was certain he’d forgive him.
If not immediately, then with time and explanations, Isa would understand.
But…
“Damn it.”
Isa wasn’t in the garden either.
That was when Kaindel began to run.
“Have you seen a silver-haired man around here?”
“Silver hair…? Ah, you must mean the Hero’s companion. I saw him heading that way a while ago.”
“That way?”
Kaindel, aimlessly wandering after failing to find Isa, grabbed a passing servant and questioned him.
After a moment of thought, the servant pointed toward the estate’s rear gate.
“In this weather, without even a coat, he stood out,” the servant added.
Kaindel glanced at the sky.
Snowflakes were beginning to fall, light but persistent.
Even with his coat, Kaindel felt the chill.
Isa had left wearing only his indoor clothes.
Foolish, reckless.
The estate’s rear gate opened onto a well-maintained path leading to a small lake, surrounded by bare trees.
The lake, untouched by human hands for years, was so clear the bottom was visible.
Kaindel scoured the area.
The lake was the last stop; if Isa had exited through the rear gate, he should have been here.
The servant could have been mistaken, but even so, Kaindel couldn’t shake his growing sense of dread.
“Isa.”
Kaindel searched behind the sparse, spindly trees.
Isa’s slight frame could easily be hidden among them—or so Kaindel tried to convince himself.
“Come out, Isa.”
He even checked the lake itself.
It was absurd to think anyone would swim in such weather, but desperation made him look.
“I know you’re here. Just come out.”
“…”
Kaindel wiped a trembling hand across his face.
His voice, fraught with emotion, sounded foreign to his ears.
“Please… just come out.”
He should have chased after Isa even when Vivianne stopped him at the banquet hall.
He should have done something, anything, instead of standing there watching Isa leave.
Overwhelmed with regret, Kaindel roughly undid his cravat and threw it aside.
His mind, creaking like a broken machine, struggled to determine where Isa might have gone.
Into town?
No, without a reservation, he’d have to wait hours for a hired carriage at this hour.
Besides, if Isa had gone toward the front gate to get a carriage, Kaindel would have crossed paths with him in the garden.
Could he still be in the mansion?
Unlikely.
If Isa were, Kaindel would have seen him coming down from his room, located at the far corner of the mansion’s top floor.
The fact that he hadn’t could mean only one thing.
Then where on earth had Isa disappeared to?
“…”
Kaindel scratched his neck unconsciously before snapping out of it.
No wonder his neck hurt—it seemed he’d scratched himself out of sheer anxiety.
As he rubbed his reddened neck, a bitter smile twisted his lips.
Every time he felt the pitiful weight of his solitude, resentment toward Isa began to bubble up.
He resented Isa for disappearing without a word after being disappointed by Vivianne’s actions.
But that growing resentment soon turned into a realization.
He had been blaming the wrong person all along.
It wasn’t Isa’s fault for being disappointed in Vivianne’s actions.
The fault lay with the person who had allowed Vivianne to act that way.
“Ah.”
And that person was none other than his past self.
Isa didn’t return the next day, nor the day after that, nor even a month later.
Only then did Kaindel’s companions realize the gravity of the situation and begin searching for him.
Together, they scoured every village in the Count’s territory, including Luther Village.
They even ventured near the birch forest where Mother had resided.
But Isa was nowhere to be found.
Absolutely nowhere.
“Just give up already.”
“Give up on what, exactly?”
“Don’t play dumb. I’m talking about searching for that bastard Isa. Give it up.”
Kaindel looked at Ruen, who was tapping his leg with his foot.
Why did he insist on provoking him?
He’d barely gotten two hours of sleep last night while searching for Isa.
He should’ve been resting now if he planned to head out again in the afternoon.
Unperturbed by Kaindel’s irritated glare, Ruen continued.
“If Isa, who knows this land like the back of his hand, decided to hide, do you really think you can find him?”
“Isa…”
Kaindel started to argue that Isa wasn’t familiar with this area, but his words faltered.
There it was again—that dreadful sensation of falling into a serpent’s maw.
Ruen misinterpreted his silence and nodded as if to say, “See? I’m right.”
“So stop moping around and let’s move on. We’ve got a job to do, don’t we?”
* * *
Ah this was when Isa meet young Kaindel