* * *
After the year-end evaluation, I had to join the debut team immediately.
‘That way, I’ll have a chance to settle into Zenis.’
If asked why, it was just a hunch. I couldn’t shake off the feeling.
“Aren’t you still in 8th grade, Dowon?”
“Yes, I’m young, but it’s not about age; it’s about debuting.”
Friends Entertainment’s next male group came out six years after Zenis.
‘Maybe it won’t be too late.’
But there was no guarantee I could hold out until then.
‘I’ve had enough of living in obscurity.’
After one appearance on camera, my impatience grew.
I wanted to be on stage quickly. I wanted to face dozens of cameras.
“Uh, it’s a bit surprising?”
“You said you’d use me, right? Let’s go all in then.”
I met his gaze.
“I’ll work hard, so please help me.”
Kang Minjae’s eyes wavered. He hesitated for a moment, then smiled slightly.
“Since we met again, you keep surprising me.”
So what?
“Alright. I’ll teach you anything I can to help.”
I smiled widely on purpose. Kang Minjae quietly extended his empty soup bowl.
“First, can you give me some more?”
If he would teach me vocals, I’d do anything. I quickly filled his soup bowl.
“You really like seaweed soup, don’t you, hyung?”
“Oh…”
Kang Minjae picked up his spoon again.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
What?
“I really like seaweed soup.”
Damn, what is he talking about?
“Did something happen?”
“Ah, I just forgot about it for a while.”
He spoke nostalgically.
Feeling a shiver, I quietly turned my gaze away.
“Crazy guy.”
Why was he getting sentimental over a bowl of seaweed soup?
But I couldn’t show my thoughts, so I quietly swallowed my rice.
I wanted to leave before he got more sentimental.
Kang Minjae didn’t say anything more, which was a relief.
***
Kang Minjae took me to his personal studio. I opened the door and was impressed.
There were all kinds of machines I couldn’t name.
“I don’t always use them all.”
He sat down comfortably. I quietly put on the headset.
“The song title was ‘Once Again’, right?”
“Yes.”
“There’s an audio file for it. I rearranged it.”
This surprised me.
“I’ve heard that rearranging can be harder than composing.”
This guy really was talented.
“Wow, you’re really good at writing and composing songs, hyung.”
“Oh? You didn’t know?”
What?
“I earn enough from royalties to live on.”
Is he bragging?
“Haven’t you heard about me? Most trainees know.”
“I didn’t ask.”
It felt like a waste of time.
Kang Minjae chuckled as if he found my answer amusing.
“If you’re curious, you should ask me directly.”
The most reliable source is right in front of you, why get exaggerated information secondhand?
“Does it work that way?”
“Yes, so let’s get started. You’re busy too, right?”
“Yeah. Put on the headset and I’ll play the track. Sing along.”
I had memorized the lyrics long ago. I put on the headset and sang the entire song.
Kang Minjae didn’t interrupt. He just listened with his chin resting on his hand.
The song ended. Kang Minjae tilted his head.
“Dowon, you sound like an amateur who sings well.”
Damn it.
“Okay, what should I do?”
“First of all, the beginning is problematic. You need to use a chest voice here. The timing was a bit fast. Keeping pace with the song is important, but the way you break at ‘your~ thoughts~’ is also a big issue. Plus, you’re out of breath. Are you doing your basic training properly? There’s a lot to work on in each section, but overall, you need to fix your breathing first.”
I raised my hand to stop him.
“Hyung, wait a moment.”
Kang Minjae looked up.
“Oh, was I too harsh?”
“No. Do you have a pen?”
He nodded and handed me a ballpoint pen.
“You can keep it.”
“Thank you. Let’s start from the beginning.”
He blinked.
“Slowly, tell me again so I can write it down.”
Annoying but incredibly detailed. His precise criticism was incomparable to time-wasting vocal instructors.
“I’ll fix it!”
If this could improve my vocals, I’d do anything. I looked at him with fiery determination.
Kang Minjae, seemingly startled, smiled slightly.
‘Why is he smiling like that?’
Hurry up and speak again!
“You’re interesting as always.”
This guy.
“Okay, I’ll start over slowly, Dowon.”
A faint smile lingered on Kang Minjae’s lips.
“Write it all down.”
Is he teasing me or complimenting me?
“It doesn’t matter.”
Gaining experience from his feedback was crucial. I listened intently as he spoke again.
Soon, Kang Minjae started repeating his comments slowly.
“Your abs are weak. Your breathing is sloppy. You need to study falsetto and chest voice. Don’t use head voice for now. Let’s start from the beginning. Your timing was a bit off. The first note was half a step flat.”
I quickly wrote it all down. Kang Minjae paused before continuing. I swallowed hard.
Honestly, it felt bad, but it wasn’t the worst. His pinpoint coaching was extremely helpful.
***
I wiped sweat from my forehead as I did sit-ups in the dorm living room.
Knowing abs were important, I regretted not training them sooner. What a waste of time.
Kang Minjae’s criticisms numbered over a hundred. Over a hundred flaws in a song barely four minutes long.
That guy was relentless.
“But I see a way forward.”
I finally understood what basic training meant. Even though it would be hard to correct everything, overcoming this gave me hope.
‘I can do it.’
I’d do it if it meant succeeding.
I kept doing sit-ups. My abs were sore, but I didn’t stop.
Just then, the manager looked down at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Can’t you see?”
The Manager tilted his head quizzically.
“Why are you suddenly working on your abs? Got a CF for abs or something?”
“I’m trying to sing better.”
“Hahahahahaha!”
The manager laughed, patting his belly.
“You’re such an ambitious nutcase. Singing is all about talent, you know.”
“Isn’t everything like that?”
“Singing is different from dancing. If someone has danced before, they can roughly follow along. But singing, many people just can’t do it.”
The manager looked at me with pity.
“I’m saying it can’t be done in a short time.”
I squinted my eyes. Sweat dripped from my chin to the floor.
‘That’s true for most people.’
I glanced at the smartphone beside me.
‘What if I recover three times a day?’
I hadn’t tried it yet, but I couldn’t shake the feeling it might work.
I spoke to the manager who was looking down at me.
“Want to bet?”
The manager confidently crossed his arms.
“On what?”
“If I noticeably improve my vocals and make it into the debut group…”
My abs were screaming in pain, but I couldn’t stop.
“Buy me a meal.”
The manager stared at me, scratching his head.
“That’s more modest than I thought.”
“At a hotel buffet.”
“Whoa! I haven’t even been to a hotel buffet because of Mira!”
I grinned.
“Are you not confident?”
“Alright! It’s a bet! You ambitious nutcase!”
He was weak to provocation.
“Okay, that’s settled then.”
The manager strutted away confidently. I continued my ab workout.
‘I can’t wait for two weeks from now.’
I would have to work like crazy, but it wasn’t too bad.
‘Because I knew cheats could be leveled up through experience.’
My abs gave out. I couldn’t go any further. I gritted my teeth and finished one last set.
“I told you it would work.”
If it works, it works.
I tapped on the cheat again.
[Cha Dowon Vocal Ability]
[Currently at C. Do you want to change it?]
[Change to B]
[Cannot be changed in current physical condition.]
How much more ab work do I need to do for this?
‘Maybe this will work?’
[Cha Dowon’s Abs]
[Cannot be altered.]
‘What are the criteria?’
I lay on the living room floor, tapping the cheat.
No matter what, the black screen with white text didn’t provide answers.
***
[Cha Dowon Vocal Ability]
[Currently at C. Do you want to change it?]
[Change to B]
[Cannot be changed in current physical condition.]
A day passed.
[Cannot be changed in current physical condition.]
Two days passed.
[Cannot be changed in current physical condition.]
Three days passed, and a week went by.
[Cannot be changed in current physical condition.]
It was the tenth day.
[Changed.]
[You will have a fever for four days as a side effect.]
Unfortunately, the monthly evaluation was tomorrow.
***
The fever blurred my vision. I blinked and sat in a corner of the practice room.
There was still a lot of time before it was my turn to dance.
My body felt incredibly heavy.
‘I underestimated the side effects.’
I would have to prepare in advance next time. This was truly unexpected.
I propped my chin on my hand and watched the trainees dancing in front of me.
Sitting in chairs, the judges were observing them.
There was the fat president, a choreographer, a vocal coach, and an unknown woman sitting in the center.
‘Is that Director Joo?’
A woman in her 30s with a bob cut, wearing black pants and a suit, was watching the trainees dance.
Was she there during the audition?
‘I feel like I might remember, but also not…’
I exhaled a hot breath. The fever made it hard to think clearly.
‘Luckily, it’s just a mild fever…’
If it were a high fever, I probably wouldn’t even be here. The thermometer read 37 degrees.
Honestly, I was usually so healthy that I rarely had a fever.
‘I haven’t had many colds either…’
My vision blurred and my overall condition was at rock bottom.
I felt my throat. The price of raising my vocal ability to B was quite severe.
‘Nothing comes free, huh.’
My vision blurred again. I barely managed to breathe.
Then, someone tapped me. I turned weakly to see my dear senior.
“You’re unusually quiet today.”
Oh, picking a fight?
I propped my chin and smiled.
“Oh, are you smiling?”
I didn’t have the energy to talk. No matter how much he provoked me, this was a space with judges.
He couldn’t pull any tricks here, knowing that, I leaned against the wall and looked at him.
“Looking good.”
You can bark all you want. I don’t have the energy to waste on you.
“Hey, you think you’re hot stuff because you were in one music video?”
Ah, the music video. I had forgotten.
‘Is it being released tomorrow?’
Thanks to him, I remembered.
“You’re nothing special here.”
Really?
“Don’t act cocky!”
I slowly erased my smile. I was so lethargic that my eyes closed on their own.
“Hey! Are you ignoring me?”
“What?”
One of the judges turned around. It was the woman in the black suit, the one who was said to be competent.
My dear senior backed off hesitantly.
“What’s going on?”
“He told me not to act cocky.”
I pointed at him and smiled slowly. Director Joo alternated her gaze between him and me.
“Do you have the skills to act cocky?”
Oh, her? I whispered softly.
“You’ll be able to confirm that soon.”
The woman laughed as if she found it absurd.
“Really? What’s your name?”
“Cha Dowon.”
Her eyes widened.
“Ah, you’re the one in Yumi’s music video.”
I nodded slightly.
“Alright. I’ll keep an eye on you. Let’s see if you’re all talk or not.”
“It’s an honor. I’ll do my best not to disappoint you.”
The woman shook her head as if she couldn’t believe my words.
“You don’t believe me.”
It’s true, though.
I felt a bit disappointed.
It started with a group dance at first. Then came the individual dance evaluation, followed by the vocal evaluation.
“I came in last, so I’m at the end of the vocal order.”
I touched my forehead. I could feel the warm heat.
“I can do it.”
This kind of heat is nothing at all.
* * *
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