* * *
“……”
I stopped halfway while going to fetch clothes and instead just stared quietly down at Jehee’s face.
Maybe this would be the last time I’d get to look at him like this—so I wanted to take in as much of him as I could.
As expected, Jehee’s face was flushed red.
His eyelids slowly lifted, revealing black eyes that darted around restlessly before finally locking with mine.
His lashes trembled.
Like a child, his two hands curled up together, covering the awkward smile tugging at his lips.
“Ah… hi.”
“…Hi. Sleep well?”
“Mhm…”
I had worried that the moment he woke up and saw me, he might panic or lash out in blame.
But he was just the same Jehee as always.
Just unable to look me directly in the eye—probably embarrassed because of the timing of when he woke.
Jehee was back.
My Jehee—soft in body and heart.
The Jehee who trusted and adored me endlessly, like a loyal puppy.
Far too good for me, and someone I loved far too much.
“So… what were you doing?”
“Wiping you down.”
“I know that, but why…”
It seemed he wanted to ask why I was wiping him in the first place.
But before he could voice the question, his eyes suddenly widened as if he’d realized something more important, and he began looking around.
“Where are we?”
“A hospital.”
“I thought so, but… why am I in a hospital? Weren’t we out camping?”
“…”
There was no sign in him of remembering the way he’d clung to me last night in the mountains.
After studying his face for a while, I asked:
“You don’t remember what happened yesterday?”
“Yesterday…? Uh… oh! Right. Taehwan, I was chased by some weird people! I tried to shake them off, but it didn’t work, so I figured I’d have to use my power to escape—and then I ended up in some mountain I’d never seen before! With no phone! So I… uh…?”
Jehee, who had been tracing his memories carefully, turned back to me.
“I remember trying to go down the mountain, but after that… it’s blank.”
His eyes were searching for an answer.
He clearly thought I would know what had happened to him.
Seeing the depth of his trust in me made me smile—though it was a bitter one I quickly forced down.
“You were unconscious halfway down the mountain, so I carried you down.”
“O-oh… I see…”
“And then you slept for a full day.”
“So that’s why you were wiping me down.”
“Yeah. I’ll finish up. I haven’t done your back yet.”
“…Ah.”
In truth, I’d already wiped all of him.
But if possible, I wanted to touch him just a little longer—even if it was just his back.
I took out a fresh towel, changed the cooled water, and approached him again.
“Turn over.”
“…Okay.”
I half-expected that now he was awake, he’d insist on washing himself, but to my surprise, Jehee obediently did as I asked.
His face was flushed, and he was clearly hyper-aware of my hands, but he didn’t avoid them.
If anything… he seemed to enjoy it.
The reason why became clear when the towel I was running down his spine reached his pale, round buttocks.
“…Uh—”
Jehee suddenly twisted around and yanked the bed sheet up.
I didn’t need to see to know what had happened. His curled-up posture was aimed at hiding that part—his lower half.
“S-sorry…”
Even with his ears burning red, he blurted out an apology, but I could tell he had been secretly hoping I’d touch him there.
And truthfully, I wanted to.
Maybe it was because he’d missed out on certain experiences at the “right age” that he was now trying to make up for lost time.
Like a kid playing with fire, lately Jehee had been chasing sexual stimulation more and more.
Accepting my wiping him down so quietly might have been an extension of that.
Anything involving his lower body seemed to feel especially intense to him—regardless of the fact that the one sharing those moments with him was just his “childhood friend.”
‘…If I were to turn Jehee down now,’
Would he find someone else?
Jehee was cute—too cute.
Adorable enough that even if it wasn’t me, he’d have no trouble finding someone.
And he was the type to give his heart away easily.
Once in a relationship, he’d pour himself into it completely, never betray them, always look only at them.
He’d try to be the perfect partner.
And naturally, that would create distance between us.
We’d see each other less, he’d start believing that person’s words over mine.
Eventually… he’d move out of the house we shared, leaving me alone in that big, empty space.
And Jehee—if it was someone he loved—wouldn’t hesitate to give them everything.
He’d open his arms wide to hold them, open his small mouth wide to take them in, and then…
‘Stop.’
Thankfully, I cut the thoughts off before my mind could be completely drowned in crimson.
When I was alone, it was hard to stop fantasizing until I broke something.
But maybe because Jehee’s eyes were on me now, I managed to.
For Jehee’s sake, I could stop.
Thankfully.
I could be certain I wouldn’t lose my mind in front of him.
Keeping my voice and expression as neutral as possible, I asked:
“Are you hard?”
“…I—I think so… Why am I like this these days…? Am I turning into some kind of pervert…?”
“Show me.”
“Wh-why do you want to see? No… It’s weird.”
“You don’t want me to see?”
“…I—It’s not that I don’t. It’s not like I dislike it…”
“…Mm.”
When I waited for him to say more, his lips trembled before he asked in a near-tearful voice:
“If I show you… what will you do?”
Those watery eyes, that voice, his face flushed like a ripe fruit—he was so unbearably lovable that for a moment my vision blurred.
But thankfully, my face didn’t give me away.
I took in a deep, exaggerated breath and asked myself:
‘…Well? What should I do?’
Of course, I wanted to. I wanted to touch Jehee more than anything.
I didn’t want to see him give his body to anyone else.
I didn’t even want him to touch himself.
I wanted him unable to do anything—so that I could take full responsibility for every part of him.
But precisely because I thought like this… I knew I wasn’t qualified to take responsibility for him.
Logically, the conclusion here should be “don’t do it.”
But the problem was, I still had a justification that made me unable to give up the “do it” option.
Jehee was still too innocent, too unknowing about sex.
Someone close to him needed to carefully teach him what adult intimacy was.
And who better than me?
I was his peer, his same gender, and his guardian.
Most importantly… I would never cross that final line.
Absolutely never.
I was the only suitable person.
“I’ll take care of it for you.”
“Is that… okay?”
“Yeah. If you’re fine with it.”
“I—I’m fine! I’d like that.”
His face lit up instantly.
His eyes sparkled like they were holding stars.
Jehee was still relying on me.
So purely, at that.
As I thought—Jehee still needed me.
At least for now.
…He’d been growing so quickly since his awakening, as if sprouting wings, changing day by day.
At this rate, in half a year this whole arrangement could be over.
“Then, Jehee, like last time…”
I was about to tell him to climb onto my lap as I sat on the bed, but then I hesitated.
‘Is it okay for me to touch him?’
With these very hands, I had dragged him into hell, yet at the critical moment I couldn’t even hold onto him.
Now, under the excuse of “doing it for him,” was I really going to touch him again?
The answer came quickly—no.
Maybe later, but right now, I couldn’t bring myself to touch him.
Not even the tip of my fingers.
But I had already told Jehee I’d “relieve” him.
I didn’t want to take it back.
His desire was something that, without question, I needed to handle.
In that case…
After thinking it over, instead of climbing onto the bed, I knelt in front of him.
“W-what are you doing? Why…?”
“I’m going to take care of it for you.”
“Don’t you have to get on the bed? Why are you kneeling…?”
“You can do it like this too. Sit here and spread your legs.”
Since I couldn’t use my hands, I couldn’t force him into position.
He had to open his legs in front of me purely on his own will.
Following my words, he sat on the edge of the bed with his legs still clamped together, fidgeting as if embarrassed.
When I urged him, he turned his head away and parted them just a little.
“L-like this?”
“A little more.”
“…Isn’t this enough?”
“More.”
“…”
It might have been enough space for me to reach with my hands, but for what I intended, it wasn’t.
At my firm “more,” Jehee looked troubled but did as I asked—though only slightly.
I had to keep pressing—more, more, more—until at last his white thighs were spread wide, showing the insides completely.
His face was flushed all the way to his neck, head turned away, unable to open his eyes from the embarrassment.
But down there… no.
His shaft, already tinged pink from shyness, had hardened, standing stiff with anticipation of what was about to happen.
‘…Thank god.’
Seeing that, I couldn’t help but feel relieved.
For him to show me such an intimate part of himself despite being so embarrassed meant he trusted me that much.
And for his cock to stand from expectation meant he didn’t dislike being touched by me.
It also filled me with joy to know there were still areas where Jehee—who’d become capable of so much on his own since being discharged—still needed me.
That no one else would ever see him like this felt like a blessing.
I even wanted to thank a god I didn’t believe in.
…Of course, the worry of how long I could keep this side of him to myself always swirled deep in my chest.
“Tae-hwan… a-aren’t you going to? This is… embarrassing…”
“I will. Just a moment.”
“…Okay.”
There might not be a next time.
His trauma could flare up again at any moment—or even without that, his fierce independence might make it so he never opened his legs for me again.
I wanted to keep looking at him, to etch this sight into my mind, but I couldn’t ignore his impatience.
I shouldn’t.
I closed my eyes tightly, then opened them.
“I’ll start.”
Praying this wouldn’t be the last time—and resolving that even if it was, I’d give my all so I wouldn’t regret it—I lowered my head, bringing my highest place to meet his lowest, and took his cock into my mouth.
* * *
