* * *
This time, my voice reached Jehee.
Along with relief, I thought I might finally understand his strange behavior.
If he had stopped moving at that exact moment, maybe it meant he had been recklessly attacking everything around him because of me.
If someone just as strong as him had approached in this unfamiliar darkness, it might have been a fear-driven act of self-defense.
If that were the case, even such uncharacteristically destructive behavior could be understood.
Feeling guilty for scaring him, I had to get to his side quickly.
I put strength into my legs, leapt forward like I was flying, and finally found Jehee amidst the debris of shattered trees.
“Jehee. Jung Jehee!”
Among the trees torn down as if by a giant beast’s claws, only one remained unscathed—and beside it, Jehee was lying.
My heart lurched, but it didn’t seem like he was hurt.
His pale face looked even whiter than usual, but there was no smell of blood.
He was clearly breathing, his eyes blinking slowly.
He even tried to push himself up with both arms.
Had he tripped while rushing down the mountain to escape the darkness?
Or had he exhausted himself using too much of his power?
I didn’t know why he was lying there, but just confirming he was safe was enough.
A smile spread across my face. For the first time in a while, I felt like I could finally breathe.
“Jehee, so you were here. I found y—”
But the joy didn’t last long.
The rest of my words died in my mouth.
As I moved closer to check on him, my eyes widened.
Something… was wrong.
“Taehwan, where are you?”
I had found Jehee—but Jehee hadn’t found me.
He propped himself up on his arms and kept glancing around.
In this pitch-black darkness, I was the only one holding a light.
There was no way he couldn’t see me.
Yet his black eyes kept darting elsewhere, never landing on me.
His gaze had no focus.
Worse, he looked terrified.
Even though I was right next to him, instead of relief or joy, his expression was one of intense anxiety—as if he still hadn’t found me.
It wasn’t the Jehee of recent days. It was as if…
“…”
My breath caught.
The smile that had been filled with relief and joy froze solid.
It felt like my whole body had turned into a massive hunk of metal.
But I couldn’t just stand there.
I couldn’t let the Jehee who was searching so desperately for me stay frightened.
Hiding my unease as best I could, I forced my heavy steps forward.
I took off my outer coat and draped it over his thin shoulders, forcing a smile as I spoke.
“Je…hee. Jehee, I’m right here. Look.”
I dropped everything I’d been holding without care and cupped his face in both hands.
His cheeks were freezing cold.
It wasn’t cold enough for the weather alone to do this—it was like ice.
Was it from using too much of his power? Or…?
“Ah, you’re here. Right next to me.”
Just as my mind was going blank with nervousness and worry, color returned to Jehee’s paper-white face.
He placed his hands over mine, starting at my wrists and moving slowly upward until they reached my cheeks.
His thumb brushed over my eyebrows, and he traced my features one by one until, finally, the fear on his lips eased.
A smile—gentle and real—spread across them.
“You’re right. It’s Taehwan.”
His voice was filled with deep, heartfelt relief—but his eyes still didn’t meet mine, still wandering lost in the darkness.
“Ah, thank goodness… You’re still here.”
Murmuring with relief, Jehee opened his arms toward me.
Before my brain even processed that he wanted a hug, my body moved on its own.
I pulled him tightly into my arms, just like always.
But his strength was greater than mine.
His arms locked around me so tightly I could barely breathe.
The pressure was suffocating, but what truly crushed me was the emotion in that embrace.
Jehee was clinging to me—desperately.
His hands clutched my back and gripped my clothes, his body trembling faintly.
When he spoke, his voice was soaked with tears, and it felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over my head.
“Taehwan… Take me with you, too.”
I knew instantly this wasn’t about me leaving him alone in the tent when I’d gone to the store.
There was no mistaking it.
This wasn’t about simply not wanting to be apart.
The way he clung to me, the way his voice trembled—it carried a much deeper desperation.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I… I guess I’m a coward after all. I can’t wait. I don’t want to be alone. Don’t leave me alone. I’m scared. This place is too scary.”
It wasn’t like the fear of being stranded alone in a small mountain at night for the first time.
This was Jehee—who had been trapped in a pitch-black cave-like dungeon and still fought bravely against monsters.
Who had grieved more for the people he couldn’t save than feared for his own life.
Who had been a courageous hero.
So why… was he like this now?
To find the answer, my eyes slowly drifted downward—toward his lower body.
Jehee was clinging to me with everything he had—but only with his upper body.
His legs didn’t move at all.
He wasn’t sitting or bending his knees; they were exactly as they’d been when I first found him—sprawled out on the ground.
Limp, as if they had no feeling at all.
“…”
While I held my breath, tears welled in his unfocused eyes and spilled down his cheeks.
Jehee began to plead through sobs.
“I… don’t… want to die…”
And then I knew for certain.
The person in my arms wasn’t the 25-year-old S-class hunter Jung Jehee.
It was the Jehee from 13 years ago—
The one who had been dragged into the Gate because of me, but left behind when I was rescued first.
The Jehee who had been trapped in that hell alone.
The shoulder he buried his face into quickly grew damp.
His hands gripped me even tighter.
“If I die here, there’s no one to help my mom. She still can’t do a lot on her own… She cries all the time… Without me, she won’t be okay. Dad’s already gone, so if something happens to me too, it can’t happen… Eunseo and Eunyul are still little… Mom’s always busy… There’s no one else to take care of them but me. I have to be there.”
In the 13 years after he was rescued from the Gate, we had shared many conversations.
But he had never once spoken about the week he’d spent trapped alone.
He would just hold my hand, chatter happily about little joys from that day, or ask me about what had happened to me—about the world outside.
He’d smile as he listened.
Even in our repetitive days, there were times he’d seem a little down, but he had never poured those feelings onto me, never shown a trace of resentment.
Not once. Ever.
But now… Jehee was crying.
Crying bitterly.
He was afraid.
The same Jehee who had always spoken calmly about dying, who sometimes even seemed to wish for it, was now clinging to me—saying he didn’t want to die.
Of course. That could never have been sincere.
No matter what anyone said, Jehee was a boy who loved the world far too much.
A boy who loved so many people with all his body and heart.
There was no way he could have been without regrets.
That day, Jehee was only twelve years old.
No matter how much of an “eldest son” he acted like, no matter how many compliments he got from adults for being a “mature child,” there was no way that a week spent alone at the gate, at twelve years old, could have been nothing to him.
“D-Don’t hate me. I won’t lie anymore. I really wanted to watch a movie with you too. I really, really wanted to, but… I couldn’t… It wasn’t to mess with you, or anything bad like that. Never, I swear…”
His lips trembled.
Every word from Jehee was like a blade plunging into my heart.
I felt like my insides were boiling, like I might cough up blood, but I couldn’t look away from this moment.
I had to hear everything Jehee had to say, no matter how much it hurt.
I had to pay for the sin I committed that day.
“So, Taehwan… take me with you too. I want to go. Don’t leave me behind. I-I don’t think I can stay here any longer…”
Jehee clung to me and wept bitterly.
He cried, and cried, and cried again.
Telling me he didn’t want to die, begging me to take him with me.
There was only one thing I could do for him.
I reached out and pulled his legs toward me.
I adjusted him so there was no discomfort at all.
And then I held him—tighter than he was clinging to me—
So he would know that I would never, not even in death, let him go.
“…Yeah, Jehee. Let’s go together.”
* * *
