* * *
That sudden sigh left my mind blank for a moment.
He was someone who rarely showed signs of hardship, so this reaction surprised me.
“Did… something happen?”
I asked cautiously. Grandfather released me from his arms and said,
“There did. A very big something.”
“What kind of…?”
I stopped myself before asking further.
If even my grandfather—acting as head of the family—called it “a very big something,” then it was likely something far beyond my control.
Would hearing about it even help me in any way?
“No, it wouldn’t.”
So there was no need to ask.
After coming to that conclusion, I lifted my gaze slightly to look at him.
And in that moment, our eyes met—filled with emotions I couldn’t possibly fathom.
My nose tingled from the overwhelming feeling.
“Let’s sit and talk first.”
“Yes.”
I sat down, and he took the seat across from me.
His gaze remained fixed on me.
He was always like this when we met, and yet… I still wasn’t used to it.
It made me a little shy, a little unsure.
I smiled faintly and took a sip of the tea placed in front of me.
“My dear boy.”
“Yes, Grandfather?”
“To think I’m about to send my precious grandchild to some shady scoundrel. I’ve never faced anything like this in my whole life. Isn’t this just a disaster?”
For a second, I blinked at him like an idiot, not quite understanding.
“…Pardon?”
That statement… sounded like it was about me.
But the way he said it—like he was telling me about someone else—sparked an absurd thought.
“Do I… have another cousin I don’t know about…?”
“Ha ha ha!”
Before I could finish, Grandfather threw his head back and laughed.
I ended up laughing too, just a little.
“You silly thing. I’ve only got you! That nonsense—it’s just like your father.”
“…I know. It was just a thought…”
It was a bit embarrassing in hindsight, but I brushed it off with a quick wipe at my nose.
“I’m just glad it’s not the kind of ‘big thing’ I was worried about.”
I was about to let out a sigh of relief when—
“So… do you really want to get engaged to that scoundrel—I mean, the young lord of Pantheon?”
The light, playful tone was gone.
Though he spoke kindly, there was a weight in his voice.
This wasn’t a joke.
It was a genuine question.
It hit so suddenly, I couldn’t answer right away. It felt… strange.
My heart was so sure.
So all I had to do was say “yes,” but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come.
His heavy voice seemed to nudge at something I’d kept buried.
“In case…”
Seeing my hesitation, he slowly continued while gently turning his teacup in his hands.
“In case this is about the adults’ circumstances—know that you, the both of you, don’t have to go along with it.”
“…It’s not because of that.”
That, at least, I could say with certainty.
“Is that so? Then I’m glad to hear it.”
He murmured quietly and fell silent.
Instead of exchanging heartfelt words, we simply emptied our teacups.
The gentle clink of porcelain filled the space for who knows how long.
“I’ve noticed you hold the young lord of Pantheon in special regard.”
So it showed.
“Heh…”
“It’s a good thing. That my precious boy has someone he cares for. It’s how we all grow, bit by bit. But… I can’t help but worry, wondering if it’s a feeling born out of obligation.”
“Obligation…?”
I didn’t quite understand.
I asked carefully, and Grandfather lowered his gaze, choosing his words with care.
“You have divine power. And the young lord… needs that power.”
“…Ah.”
Only then did I understand what he meant.
He was worried that I might be staying by Raizen’s side out of a sense of duty—believing that only I could help him.
“That’s not it… either.”
Even after I said so, his expression didn’t ease.
But I wasn’t upset. I didn’t feel frustrated.
He’d lived many times longer than me.
From his perspective, his concerns were entirely valid.
I was grateful, even.
“He truly wants me to be happy… That’s why he worries.”
And because of that, I found the courage to speak.
“I’m happy that having this kind of power was able to help you, hyung. But… to be honest, I never thought I could completely solve your problems. My power isn’t that perfect. And honestly, now… even if I’m not by your side, as long as you have the Divine relic, you’ll be fine.”
“……”
“So… it’s not out of obligation, like you’re worried about.”
If anything, it hurt that Raizen said he needed me because of my divine power.
“I don’t know why it had to be you, to be honest. My heart just… ended up that way.”
It was pure, unfiltered sincerity.
If he really tried to pick it apart, maybe he could come up with a bunch of reasons.
But none of them would truly explain it.
“I wish there had been a clear moment where I could say I fell for you at first sight.”
“……”
“I wish there were things I could list off, like, this is exactly why I like this person…”
That way, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when the time came to let go.
If the reasons I loved you changed or faded over time, then maybe my feelings would quietly go with them too.
“But… I don’t think that’s the case, and… it’s kind of overwhelming.”
It was the first time.
Putting it into words suddenly made the vague feelings inside of me sharp and real.
I… liked Raizen more than I thought.
So much that it left me feeling a little helpless, just like I’d said.
My grandfather got up and came over to stand beside me.
His strong arms wrapped around me, and I leaned comfortably into his embrace.
“When did my little one grow up this much, I wonder… I’ve barely been by your side, and yet you’ve grown up so fast. It makes me feel ashamed.”
“That’s not true. I…”
The words caught in my throat.
I could’ve swallowed them down, but I didn’t want to.
I took a small, deep breath and tried again.
“Grandfather… I’m really happy that you love me like this. I’m so grateful.”
“Haha.”
There was a strange hint of dampness in the soft sound of his laughter.
“All I really wish for is one thing. I just want you to be happy. No one grows up in this world without getting hurt, but I hope that you… get hurt the least, and only just a little. So… I can’t help but be a bit worried.”
He was carefully choosing his words, clearly afraid that I might get hurt.
I knew what he was really worried about—that maybe Raizen and I didn’t feel the same way.
“…Hyung has changed.”
That was all I could say.
Honestly, I didn’t fully understand Raizen’s feelings either.
But I was too scared to ask him directly.
It was true that I liked him, and that I was clinging to the hope that I might be the one to break his curse.
‘I know I need to ask him outright.’
But I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud, so I just repeated it in my head.
‘But I’m scared. I’m scared, and at the same time… I just keep wanting more.’
The way Raizen looked at me—so clearly different from how he looked at anyone else.
His pheromones wrapped around me so softly and tenderly that I couldn’t dismiss it as just possessiveness.
The smile he only showed me.
The way he hated physical contact, yet still kissed me willingly.
Every time he did that, the desire inside me grew.
And without realizing it, I started to believe.
‘Yeah. One day, we’ll definitely… face each other with the same warmth.’
Even though I knew it could end up poisoning me, my heart had already escaped control.
And that’s why—
“…I believe he’ll keep changing. For the better.”
I wanted to trust Raizen.
I wanted to believe in his heart.
* * *
