* * *
‘Could it be… am I regretting this?’
Regret? Haimar Eilec, of all people, feeling something close to regret over what he said to Ben Plaskun?
He had said far worse things countless times before.
Haimar’s brows furrowed slightly.
He hated to admit it, but rationally speaking, he had long concluded that he was indeed feeling emotions he never thought he’d experience—frustration and regret.
And Haimar trusted his own judgment more than anyone else’s.
Just weeks ago, thoughts and emotions like these had never been a part of his life.
Yet, that guide—slowly, piece by piece—was changing everything about him.
His thoughts.
His emotions.
Even his body.
He had once adamantly denied that guides were absolute existences to espers.
Even now, he wouldn’t fully agree with that sentiment.
But compared to when he had first told Ben outright that he could never trust him, perhaps now… he might hesitate, just a little.
Those pale eyes, reminiscent of dew, that always met his gaze so honestly, without even a hint of deception.
That face, steadfast and sincere.
That low, even-tempered voice, seeking nothing but his trust.
A monster who had never trusted another—not even as much as a speck of dirt under his nails—was, at last, beginning to trust someone.
Even if it was only the faintest trace, the fact that a change was taking shape, however small, was significant in itself.
As the fog in his mind cleared, Haimar arrived at Central, well past lunchtime.
Although his official status still listed him as on leave, there was always an excess of work waiting for him.
Of course, given his prickly personality, he only ever did the tasks he wanted to do.
Unless there was an emergency, his workload was always dictated by his own discretion.
Today, however, he had come in because he couldn’t shake the image of Ben’s unwell state from his mind.
It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t see Ben later anyway—he always ran into him around the time he got off work.
Still, he stopped by his office, one provided by the capital’s Central, reviewed a few documents, and then stepped out.
And that was when he ran into Zereno Osel.
It was purely by chance.
If not for the fact that he had seen him just yesterday, Haimar wouldn’t have remembered him at all.
Zereno Osel, with his navy-blue hair and utterly unremarkable appearance, wasn’t someone worth remembering.
He had planned to ignore him entirely, but the moment Zereno spotted him, his face flushed dramatically, and he blurted out in a loud voice.
“Ah! Uh, uh! Yesterday, that! You—!”
Haimar smiled at him like an angel, just as he did with everyone.
Zereno couldn’t help but think: [Ugh! What the hell, how can a guy look like that? I’m about to get a nosebleed!]
“Nice to… meet you.”
“Do we know each other?”
Though it was only natural for Haimar to remember him from yesterday, the polite yet cold words drew a distinct boundary.
But Zereno, despite hearing that, reacted as if he were intoxicated by his voice, as if he had already forgotten the warning he had received the day before.
Perhaps he should have made an example out of someone yesterday, beaten them to a pulp.
Haimar hadn’t done so because he knew Ben would have been annoyingly persistent about it, but now, seeing this irritating man before him, he wondered if even Ben might have let it slide just this once.
“Uh… yes, that’s… right.”
At least Zereno wasn’t completely oblivious.
He glanced around awkwardly before stepping aside.
Haimar was about to walk past him when a stray thought in Zereno’s mind suddenly caught his attention.
[Wait… why is he here? Could it be because of Ben? That guy looked like a total mess today.]
“What do you mean?”
“W-what?”
Zereno’s eyes widened as if he’d just been caught thinking something bad.
“You said ‘total mess.’”
“H-huh?”
“What did you mean by that?”
The way Haimar bore down on him, demanding an answer, was almost feral.
Just moments ago, he had seemed like a celestial being, descended from the heavens.
He was still breathtakingly beautiful now, but his piercing gaze made Zereno feel like he was being stripped bare.
A shiver ran down his spine.
And yet… he hadn’t even said those words out loud.
“I… I never said that….”
“Answer me.”
The chilling command made Zereno’s vision blur.
“I just… he looked really unwell today, so, uh… he seemed like a mess….”
The nuance was clear—he had been referring to someone sick.
Haimar already knew Ben hadn’t been feeling well that morning.
But the way Zereno described it—like a total mess—was not how he remembered it.
Unless… that was simply his own standard.
If what Haimar considered ‘not a big deal’ was seen by most people as ‘clearly unwell,’ then it changed everything.
He had overlooked something critical.
Piecing together what happened this morning with Zereno’s words, Haimar immediately understood Ben’s current condition.
If even this irritating man thought Ben looked like a wreck, there was no reason to wait until evening to check on him.
He needed to see for himself. Right now.
“Where is he?”
“Ah… I think he left after getting a call from Moria Iren from Division 2. But I don’t know where he went….”
So, someone barely holding himself together got a call and went out?
Haimar’s eyes narrowed.
He wanted to dig deeper into Zereno’s thoughts, but his current tuning capabilities had their limits.
Still, the mention of Moria Iren was enough of a lead.
If anyone knew where Ben had gone, it would be her.
There was no point wasting any more time on Zereno.
But before leaving, Haimar threw out one last remark.
“Tell me everything that happened before you got there yesterday.”
Ben had stubbornly kept his mouth shut about what had happened the night before.
But now, from Zereno, the details spilled out with surprising ease.
Hearing the whole story, Haimar realized it truly wasn’t anything he needed to concern himself with.
But… was it really that hard for Ben to just say it?
No, with his absurdly kind nature, he had probably hesitated until the end, not wanting to drag Haimar into it.
“…So, we arrived at District 8, and Ben ran ahead first.”
From that point on, Haimar already knew what had happened.
There was no point in listening any further.
Now that he had all the information he needed, he left without a word, ignoring Zereno’s continued ramblings.
As he made his way to Division 2, Haimar’s striking appearance drew lingering gazes from every employee he passed.
Even before his fight with the espers of Division 6 yesterday, people had already been captivated by the fact that the infamous ‘monster’ Haimar Eilec looked like this.
And Haimar knew exactly how to use that to his advantage.
It wasn’t difficult to locate Moria Iren—after all, a few mesmerized staff members were all too willing to help.
“A-ah… hello…? Am I shaking right now?”
With her pale green hair neatly braided, Moria couldn’t hide her nervous expression.
Her fingers fidgeted as she anxiously studied Haimar’s face.
She had expected this might happen… but she never thought he’d actually show up.
“You know why I’m here.”
“Of course! Um, so, uh, Ben—he’s really sick today. I was definitely going to tell you.”
She hadn’t even done anything wrong, yet she was already blurting out excuses.
It was almost pathetic.
“I really tried to stop him, but he insisted on going. And, uh—he doesn’t even have your number!”
That was only natural since neither of them had ever shared their contact information.
Haimar, like Ben, hadn’t deliberately hidden it—there had simply never been an opportunity to exchange numbers.
However, Moria was gradually letting go of the tension from earlier, now more focused on the absurdity of the situation.
“Haimar, you don’t know Ben’s contact information either, do you? That’s not good. It’s inconvenient when you don’t know where the other person is. And Ben always insists he’s fine, which makes things even more difficult.”
“You talk too much.”
“Oh—was I being too nosy? Ben… went to Hermannsen earlier, but as far as I know, he hasn’t returned to his department yet…”
It was already close to the end of the workday. If Ben had left for Hermannsen around lunchtime, he should have been back by now. Moria didn’t bother continuing, but the fact that Ben still hadn’t returned made it easy enough to guess the possible reasons.
Either something had happened because he was unwell, or something else had come up.
Between Moria and Haimar, the more likely scenario was the first one.
“He went to check if he’d left anything behind at his old place in Hermannsen. He’s really sick, so he’s probably resting there.”
Moria’s guess wasn’t far from Haimar’s own thoughts. The air between them remained languid yet edged with tension. Sensing the mood, Moria quickly peeled off a Post-it note, scribbled down Ben’s address in Hermannsen, and handed it to Haimar. But even as he passed it over, he wasn’t entirely sure if this “Haimar” would actually go to where Ben was.
Based on what Liran and Siwoo had told him, Haimar was the kind of man who wouldn’t even blink if someone dropped dead in a ditch right next to him. Ben’s suffering was unfortunate, but expecting any different response from Haimar seemed foolish.
“My guide, my responsibility. Any problem with that?”
He read my thoughts.
Moria had heard about it before, but experiencing it firsthand was something else entirely. So this was what Liran meant when he said talking to Haimar didn’t feel like a real conversation. Feeling embarrassed, Moria averted his gaze and stammered,
“N-no, no problem.”
* * *
