* * *
Lowell had left to put some distance between himself and Felix, yet here he was already thinking about returning so he wouldn’t cause concern.
“Am I a lost cause at this point?”
He clutched at his chest, where his heart was pounding uncontrollably.
“When was the last time I felt this kind of intense emotion?”
As Lowell retraced his memories, he suddenly realized that even during what he had once considered his first love, he hadn’t been this flustered.
His heart had never raced this wildly before.
“Maybe it’s just my weak body making my heart beat faster,” he mused, shaking his head at the ridiculous thought as he trudged onward.
“Lowell!”
A disheveled Felix grabbed Lowell’s arm, spinning him around to face him.
“Your Grace?”
Startled by the sudden contact, Lowell’s eyes widened further when he took in Felix’s appearance.
Felix, who could endure even the harshest training without breaking a sweat, now had a damp neck glistening with perspiration.
His expression, usually composed, was filled with desperation, as if he were a child who had lost his parents.
The deep crease between his brows made Lowell sigh involuntarily.
“Where were you trying to go?”
Felix’s voice was low and heavy, like a snake slithering through the depths.
“Why are you avoiding me? Have I suddenly become repulsive to you?”
Lowell realized in that moment how deeply his seemingly trivial actions had disturbed Felix.
“Your Grace, it’s nothing like that,” he said, quickly denying the notion.
Calming Felix was far more urgent than sorting through his own feelings, so Lowell softened his tone, speaking slowly and reassuringly.
“You seemed uneasy being with me all day. Are you going to tell me I imagined that?”
Felix wasn’t just reacting to Lowell’s brief disappearance; his heightened senses, honed on the battlefield, had picked up on Lowell’s recent subtle changes.
Though he had tried to feign ignorance, Lowell’s abrupt absence had shattered his composure.
Rising onto his toes, Lowell reached out to wipe the sweat from Felix’s brow.
Felix frowned slightly at the unexpected touch but didn’t pull away.
Instead, he leaned down slightly, making it easier for Lowell to reach him.
“To be honest, I just needed a moment to myself to think about some trivial matters. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to bother you, but if I’d known it would upset you this much, I would have said something. I’m sorry. I should’ve realized a simple note wouldn’t suffice.”
Lowell spoke with deliberate gravity, hoping his sincerity would put Felix at ease.
Yet, Felix latched onto just one phrase.
“Something to think about?”
Felix stared at Lowell intently, as if trying to read his mind.
Of course, no such thing was possible.
“Things have changed so suddenly. I just needed time to adjust.”
“Do you miss the capital?”
Felix’s question came out in a single breath, a long-held fear spilling out before he could stop it.
“To be honest, I don’t have any real attachment to the capital.”
Recognizing the underlying fear in Felix’s eyes, Lowell answered firmly.
It wasn’t a lie; he had only spent a few months in Phoebos and had no significant memories tied to it.
“Nix is far more appealing to me, so that’s not something you need to worry about, Your Grace.”
Lowell wasn’t particularly attached to Nix either, but he could easily imagine preferring it.
While Phoebos was warm and prosperous, its people often wore smiles while sharpening daggers behind their backs.
It was hard to feel at home there.
“You prefer Nix?”
Though Felix’s eyes were still filled with doubt, his actions betrayed him.
He removed his cloak, draping it over Lowell before pulling him close.
“Yes. I’m sure even our little one would agree.”
Calling to mind the unborn child whose nickname they had playfully decided on, Lowell smiled shyly.
Though born of embarrassment, his expression completely captivated Felix.
Under the moonlight, Lowell’s endearing smile brought Felix back to their very first meeting.
Unable to resist, Felix lowered his head and kissed Lowell. It was an uncontrollable impulse.
Caught off guard, Lowell’s eyes widened before slowly closing as he parted his lips.
Felix eagerly slipped his tongue into Lowell’s mouth, the ferocity of his initial movements softening the moment their tongues touched.
What began as a ravenous invasion turned into a gentle caress, tickling rather than overwhelming.
Lowell nearly laughed at the change but soon surrendered entirely to the warmth of the moment.
While Lowell’s eyes remained shut, Felix couldn’t tear his gaze away from him, determined not to miss a single second.
‘Clinging to the past and hurting someone new is never the right thing to do.’
Lowell wasn’t yet fully confident in his feelings for Felix or in love itself.
Emotions didn’t change overnight. But running away wasn’t the answer, either.
‘You can’t escape what’s already taken root within you.’
Humans were meant to confront their fears.
Lowell accepted this truth, resolving to share his feelings with Felix honestly once he overcame his own doubts.
Felix’s warm breath mingled with Lowell’s as their lips parted.
Though physically separated, they gazed at each other as if yearning to close the gap again.
A chilly wind swept between them, prompting Felix to speak reluctantly.
“It’s cold. Let’s head inside.”
Felix tightened the cloak around Lowell and practically lifted him into his arms.
Instead of struggling, Lowell nestled against him, closing his eyes.
The release of tension brought on a wave of drowsiness.
“If you’re sleepy, don’t fight it. Rest,” Felix murmured, gently covering Lowell’s eyes with his palm.
Lowell obediently drifted off in his arms.
When Lowell opened his eyes again, it was morning.
Felix didn’t say a word but instead gazed at him intently, his expression unreadable, as though he hadn’t slept at all.
“Did you sleep well?”
Lowell murmured, still half-trapped in Felix’s embrace.
His voice, hoarse from just waking up, made Felix sit up abruptly.
The sudden loss of warmth didn’t even give Lowell time to feel disappointed before Felix brought a glass of water to his lips.
“Here, drink. Open your mouth.”
Lowell hesitated to point out that drinking on his own would be easier and obediently parted his lips.
The water trickled in slowly, Felix careful and deliberate as if worried he might choke if it came too fast.
After a few gulps, the glass was withdrawn, only to return near his lips again, silently offering more.
“I’m fine now,” Lowell said, his voice back to normal. Felix, seemingly satisfied, set the glass aside.
“Apparently, a guest will be arriving in four days. They won’t stay long, and you likely won’t have to interact with them much, aside from greetings.”
“A guest?”
Lowell blinked in confusion.
* * *
