* * *
The memories made his heart waver for a moment, but Dansol forced a smile at Doohyun.
“So, you’ve fully recovered now, Doohyun? You haven’t disappeared; you’re still here.”
“I ran away that time and hid for a week. I stayed at an old guesthouse my grandmother ran. One day, I watched TV and saw the kids tumbling on a show I used to be a regular on. I thought everything would fall apart without me, but it didn’t. The members were struggling on their own, and I was deluded into thinking I was the only one making an effort. My spot could be filled by anyone. So, I lied about running out of money and came back.”
Dansol remembered the story he heard in the car earlier. The members still thought Doohyun had returned just because he ran out of money.
“Do you know what’s really cunning about people?”
For some reason, Doohyun’s tone felt lonely to Dansol.
Seeing the person who had been so spirited moments ago suddenly look so downcast, he didn’t know how to react and just raised his eyebrows.
Doohyun, slightly tipsy, seemed like he was performing a monodrama.
“When the other members got popular… I felt jealous. I was lonely and scared of being left behind. It’s good that their success lightens my burden, but if I lose my center position because I’m too busy to practice, it’s… upsetting. I must seem so petty, right?”
Doohyun, who had always been the center of Zeus, couldn’t practice properly for the upcoming performance due to overlapping schedules with a drama shoot.
Moreover, the organizers initially wanted Taeoh to pair up with Dansol for the main spot for more buzz.
Dansol felt a mix of emotions hearing Doohyun’s words.
This beautiful accommodation with a view of the Han River and the motherly woman who cooked warm meals for them—these luxuries did not diminish the anxiety and self-loathing Doohyun felt.
He had experienced the same struggles and still did.
His feelings weren’t petty; they were human.
Even though Dansol now hoped the members’ success would lighten his load, he had once cursed them for moving on after the team disbanded.
Seeing his name mentioned as the reason for the disbandment in old articles or as a topic on internet shows, he felt like they were flourishing at his expense and wanted to crush them.
Trapped in a corner, he felt pathetic hoping they would call his back for another chance in the spotlight while they thrived in the sun.
Doohyun’s fears weren’t imaginary; they were the harsh reality Dansol had lived through.
“Doohyun, it’s not that you’re narrow-minded… Everyone feels that way. I’m the same. I get jealous and care about them… I curse them out but still worry about them. It’s like being a hypocrite.”
“…Lately, it’s not as bad. I think it’s because I know this moment might not come again. Our team might disband this year, you know. If I’d known we’d part so soon… I’d have been kinder.”
Dansol reflected on Zeus’ debut year. Next year would be their fifth anniversary.
Most idols either fail or don’t renew their contracts after five years.
Dinosaur Soul had a nearly slave-like ten-year contract.
Despite their longer tenure, they disbanded earlier than Zeus because Dansol had become the public’s enemy.
That year, all Zeus members renewed their contracts and continued.
“Doohyun, I’m sure everyone will renew their contracts and continue. I’m going to bed now.”
Dansol spoke to the worried Doohyun and got up.
Even in bed, Dansol kept thinking about Doohyun’s words.
“If I’d known we’d part like this, I’d have been nicer!”
He recalled the expressions of his members when he had spoken harshly to them.
Although it was unlikely, he thought if he couldn’t escape his fate and died again, he wanted to be remembered more fondly by his younger members in this life.
In the battle where the more affectionate side always loses, it was Dansol, both before and after his return.
“Tomorrow morning at rehearsal… I must apologize first.”
“What are you doing up?”
After Dansol entered his room, Doohyun was finishing his drink, staring out the window, when Taeoh’s voice came from behind.
From his posture, it seemed Taeoh was headed to the bathroom, but Doohyun hesitated, unsure how much he’d overheard.
“Don’t try to lure Dansol.”
“It’s not like that. he’s cute, but not my type.”
“What…? Cute? Who are you to call Dansol cute?”
Seeing Taeoh, Doohyun’s sentimental mood vanished, replaced by sudden fatigue.
“Thanks to this unsthyungble Dansol fanboy, my insomnia’s gone.”
As Doohyun placed his glass in the sink and turned around, Taeoh scratched his stomach and spoke nonchalantly.
“I won’t tell the others.”
“…”
“That you didn’t come back because you ran out of money.”
“Hey.”
“And I’m going to renew my contract. Goodnight.”
“Dansol! Good morning! Did you sleep well? Was the bed comfortable?”
The next morning, Taeoh was the one who greeted Dansol, who had woken up the latest.
“No… it was so comfortable I never wanted to wake up…”
“What? Why are you saying such things in the morning? Try this, Dansol! It’s so delicious you’ll want to live forever.”
Dansol was merely expressing how much they enjoyed the blanket, but Taeoh was startled and hurriedly stuffed a sandwich made by the housekeeper into Dansol’s mouth while pouring juice.
Have the kids eaten?
Despite Taeoh’s efforts, Dansol’s mind was filled with thoughts of the members.
Minjae still hadn’t replied to the message sent late last night.
“We should get up if we want to make it to rehearsal on time…”
“Huh? What did you say, Dansol?”
“The members. We need to get up now to arrive on time, but they haven’t replied to my message.”
“Isn’t that something the manager should handle?”
“Our manager is often late. It’s better if I wake them up. I’ll make a quick call.”
- The customer cannot be reached…
No matter how many times Dansol called, neither Minjae, Woohyun, nor Gilsung answered.
Dansol grew anxious.
“Not answering?”
“No… Should I go?”
“They might be in the shower. Let’s just take our car and head out first.”
Considering how they usually fought over who got to use the bathroom first, it was understandable that they couldn’t hear the phone ring.
Reluctantly, Dansol got into the car with Zeus and headed to the venue.
- The customer cannot be reached…
Even after arriving at the venue, doing basic makeup, and checking costumes, Gilsung and the members still hadn’t arrived.
“DinoSoul! Not here yet? We need to go up soon for position check…”
“Uh… let me try calling again.”
Having already made dozens of calls, Dansol picked up the phone with a nearly dead battery and dialed Gilsung’s number.
A look of distress lingered on Dansol’s face, hair pinned back for makeup.
Click.
“Hello?! Gilsung? Where are you! Why aren’t you here yet!”
“Hey Dansol… we… we might not be able to make it.”
“What…? What do you mean? Everyone is waiting here! Are you late again? Should I inform…”
- We got into a car accident…
“…What?”
Beeeeep.
At that moment, a ringing started in Dansol’s ears.
Without realizing it, Dansol switched the phone to the ear with weaker hearing, barely catching the faint, muffled sounds.
Gyeongbu Expressway, three-car collision, hospital, and sirens.
The members, who Dansol thought had returned to the dorm after practice last night, had gone to Busan for an event on the director’s orders.
The event wasn’t even an official invitation, just the director’s elementary school alumni gathering, where the members had sung all night surrounded by strangers.
They were on their way back for the morning rehearsal when the accident happened.
Why did that conversation from yesterday come to mind now?
Dansol remembered talking to Doohyun last night.
‘…I feel like this moment might never come again…’
“Are… are the kids okay? Is everyone safe? Which hospital are you at? I’ll come right away!”
“No! Dansol, wait…!”
* * *
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oh my god a car crash