* * *

I wanted to think of nothing. I lacked even the energy to think.

Staggering to my bed, I fell onto it and buried myself under the blanket.

A coldness crept over me, no matter how tightly I wrapped the blanket around myself.

I wanted to sleep, but it wouldn’t come.

The man’s face, his voice, and his absurd words circled in my mind.

In my imagination, I killed him over and over again, only to feel disgust at myself for even entertaining such thoughts.

Curled up, I tried to force myself to think of anything else. It didn’t work.

How much time passed, I wasn’t sure.

The front door opened, followed by footsteps heading straight to my room.

Baek Gunho.

He knocked twice and waited briefly before entering as if the knocks were meaningless.

“Heewon.”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t answer.

I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone else, so I feigned sleep.

But, damn it, Gunho and his sharp instincts saw right through me.

He refused to back down, stepping closer.

“What are you doing?” he repeated.

He yanked the blanket off me.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to avoid him, but he dragged me upright regardless.

When I finally opened my eyes, his gaze was fixed on my face, unwavering.

“What happened?”

“Leave…”

“You look terrible.”

“…”

I felt a surge of irritation but didn’t want to lash out at Gunho.

After running away from that man like a coward, taking my anger out on Gunho felt wrong.

“You’re going to face your uncle looking like this?”

The mention of my uncle made me flinch. I couldn’t let him see me like this.

“…Let’s go to your place.”

“What?”

“I don’t want my uncle to see me like this…”

I could already picture his worry.

If he asked what happened, I’d stumble through an explanation.

If he found out the truth, he’d be angry for me and even apologize for something that wasn’t his fault.

I didn’t want that. But I couldn’t pretend everything was fine, either.

There was only one option: running away.

“So something did happen,” Gunho muttered, clicking his tongue.

He gently scooped me up.

When I struggled, he set me down but kept a firm grip on my hand.

His warmth felt stifling, but I followed him anyway, tears threatening to fall.

---

“I told your uncle you’re sleeping over,” Gunho said after making the call.

He sat beside me as I slumped on his couch.

Gripping my arms, he turned me to face him and asked:

“Feeling any better?”

“…Yeah.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

“…”

“What happened?”

“…”

“Talk.”

His commanding tone was oddly comforting.

I didn’t want to talk, but at the same time, I desperately needed to.

Reluctantly, I began.

“Today… I saw one of the researchers. The one who experimented on me.”

“What?”

“He said he’s out. He served his time… and he wanted to apologize.”

“…”

“That’s insane, right? How can a crime like that… be so light? How…?”

Baek Gunho, for once, was at a loss for words.

Looking at his bewildered expression, I realized that this was a situation that could fluster even someone as unshakable as him.

After a moment of thought, Gunho suddenly stood up.

Knowing what he intended to do, I grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Where are you going?”

“To that bastard.”

“Don’t. Just… don’t.”

Just stay with me.

Although I couldn’t bring myself to say those words aloud, it felt as though Gunho understood.

He sighed deeply and sat back down, running his hands roughly through his hair as if trying to clear his frustration.

A moment later, he let out another sigh and looked at me.

“…So, did you get an apology?”

“No, I just… ran away because I didn’t want to hear more.”

“Why did you run? It wasn’t even your fault.”

Gunho frowned, clearly displeased, and his words hit the mark.

Why did I run?

Maybe it was because I didn’t trust myself to stay there without doing something reckless.

With my strength, crushing a man would’ve been as easy as squashing an ant.

I lowered my head, unsure how to define the storm of emotions swirling inside me.

“…I wanted to kill him.”

“Kill him?”

Gunho repeated, his serious expression making it clear he wasn’t taking it as a joke.

His reaction made me chuckle lightly, even though nothing about this was funny.

“Not really kill him. It’s just something I said.”

“…”

“He asked me to forgive him. Does that make any sense?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Gunho nodded gravely without hesitation.

“Of course, I don’t care anymore, but… that’s not something you can just forgive so easily.”

“You’re not fine.”

Gunho spoke firmly, taking my hand.

His warmth contrasted sharply with my now-cold fingers.

“You’re not fine at all. You still have trauma—afraid of small spaces, scared of needles.”

“I’m not—”

“Stop pretending to be okay. I know you’re not.”

Gunho declared, cutting me off.

But I was okay.

I wasn’t the kid who used to cower in fear the moment a door closed. I no longer trembled at the sight of a sharp needle.

And yet, maybe there were still moments when I wasn’t entirely fine.

If Gunho said so, there might be truth to it.

Looking back on today, I was still… a coward who hadn’t fully escaped that moment.

“It’s not your fault.”

“…”

“None of it is your fault.”

Gunho whispered gently, pulling me into an embrace.

His warmth made me want to cry, so I pushed him away.

Gunho held my face, his fingers brushing away the dampness near my eyes.

“If you’re going to make that face, just cry.”

“…”

“Never mind, don’t cry.”

“…What the hell?”

“You don’t need to cry over someone like that. For someone like him… you shouldn’t…”

Gunho’s expression darkened, his thoughts clearly taking a grim turn.

“Should I kill him for you?”

“…What?”

“Obviously, that bastard. Why are you asking?”

“…”

“I wouldn’t let him off easily. I’d make him suffer, as much as he made you suffer—no, even more. So much that he’d regret being alive.”

The violent edge to his voice made me pause.

Normally, I would’ve laughed it off, told him to stop saying ridiculous things.

But right now, I couldn’t even muster a smile.

“Don’t say crazy things.”

“I’m serious.”

“Just stop…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“I could really do it, you know. Are you sure you don’t need me to?”

Gunho pressed, his persistence unsettling me.

Knowing he wasn’t one for empty words made me even more nervous.

“There’s no need for you to sink to that level… Just forget it, really.”

I firmly shut down the conversation, worried he might say something even more reckless.

Gunho stared at me intently before reaching out to ruffle my hair.

“…You’ve grown up so well, Seo Heewon. Better than I thought you would. So kind, so soft… How are you going to survive like this?”

He spoke as if he had raised me himself.

But his expression was far too somber for it to be a joke.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Gunho didn’t answer.

For some reason, he seemed angrier than I was.

Seeing him genuinely upset over my pain eased some of the fury burning within me.

Though I still felt weak…

“Should I comfort you?”

Gunho’s sudden question caught me off guard.

“Comfort me, how?”

Before I could ask further, his face was suddenly close to mine.

His lips touched mine, soft and firm.

His tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips as he deepened the kiss.

When I tried to push him away, Gunho clasped his fingers around mine, pinning me down as he guided me onto the bed.

He straddled me, grinding his thigh against me.

“Mmnh…”

The thought that I should stop him flitted through my mind, but it quickly vanished.

Gunho had said he’d comfort me, and I… I wanted comfort.

Physical solace felt undeniably real, something I could hold on to.

Lost in the kiss, I barely noticed when Gunho’s hand reached down to stroke me.

Already half-hard, I stiffened fully under his touch.

His grip was firm, his movements confident, drawing a low moan from my lips.

“Ah…”

It wasn’t long before I came into his hand.

Breathing heavily, I looked up to see Gunho kiss my cheek gently.

Was this comfort?

The rush of pleasure wiped my thoughts clean, pushing my anger and pain to the back of my mind for a moment.

But as the haze cleared, I noticed the somber look still clouding Gunho’s face.

He seemed burdened, his thoughts heavy.

I didn’t want to see him like that.

Reaching out, I stopped him as he began to move away.

“What is it?”

“…Let me return the favor.”

“I’m fine.”

“But you’re hard…”

“Of course I am. You’re irresistible.”

Though his words were light, his expression remained shadowed.

Perhaps he was trying to cover it up.

I leaned forward and kissed him briefly, saying nothing more.

* * *