* * *
I don’t even know how things got this far.
My childhood friend’s hand traced up along the pillar of my body.
Our cocks rubbed against each other, making obscene, wet sounds—
None of it felt real.
Between friends… and both of us being guys, I thought I’d be repulsed on a physical level. But in reality, I wasn’t.
“You’re leaking a ton from your cock. Can you hear it?”
“Don’t… ha! Ugh…”
This shouldn’t be happening.
Not with him. Of all people—him.
“Eddy…”
My childhood friend, clearly no longer in his right mind, kept kissing my skin as if he’d forgotten entirely that the person in front of him was a close friend.
He buried his face in the crook of my neck, breathing in my scent.
A sharp shiver crawled down my spine.
My head was already a complete mess.
“Ah… shit… ngh.”
Really… how did it come to this between us?
I thought we had finally—
“—become real friends.”
But the truth is, we were childhood friends in name only.
And everything started to change from that day.
Was it some kind of cruel twist of fate?
On my twentieth birthday, at a celebration surrounded by my family and friends, I began to recover memories of my past life.
That’s when I realized—the world I’m living in now resembles the world of a novel I once read in my previous life… far too closely.
The female lead of the novel: Liette Rossman.
The male lead: Cedric Soliwen.
And then there was me—the childhood friend of both, hopelessly in love with Liette and constantly clashing with Cedric: the sub male lead, Edgar Lowell.
‘Edgar Lowell.’
Yes. That’s me.
Maybe it’s because I reincarnated as a character from that novel, but the memories and emotions “Edgar” experienced in the story came flooding back to me with vivid clarity.
There was no denying it.
If everything continued following the novel’s plot, then soon—at the noble ball held for those who had just come of age—I would lose Liette to Cedric.
And afterward, consumed by rage and inferiority, I’d ruin my relationship with Cedric even more…
Eventually, I’d realize how meaningless it all was—and give up on life altogether.
That was the future that awaited me.
“When I first remembered everything, I was completely thrown.”
My precious twentieth birthday party, meant to celebrate my coming of age, ended in absolute disaster.
Since that day, I’d refused to meet any friends who came to visit, despite my parents’ coaxing.
I needed time—time to think things through.
I’d been holed up in my room for three days now, ignoring everyone like I was staging a sit-in.
“Haaah.”
So this is how my long one-sided love ends.
What a bitter conclusion.
“In the end… I never once beat Cedric.”
But accepting the end of that love… strangely, it made me feel lighter.
Thanks to the memories from my past life, I could now look at Edgar—the Edgar from the novel—as if he were someone else entirely.
That Edgar—no, I—believed Liette was his one true love and chased after her with everything he had.
But looking back now, I realize that wasn’t love.
“I just didn’t want to lose to Cedric.”
From the very moment I met him, I was always being compared.
And always came up short.
That’s why I treated Cedric so coldly—why I resented him.
My parents loved me dearly and never showed favoritism, so I was fine at home.
But outside, we were always compared.
Always the subject of gossip.
Because we were “childhood friends”—supposedly close.
And the conclusion the world reached was that Cedric was better than me in every possible way.
…And honestly, it wasn’t wrong.
Anything I was good at, Cedric was better.
Anything I lacked, Cedric made up for.
On top of that, I was a beta, and Cedric was an alpha.
I wasn’t lacking in looks, family background, or ability—but Cedric’s family was one of the most powerful in the Empire.
He was brilliant, undeniably handsome, and consistently voted the most desirable bachelor every year.
As if that weren’t enough, he tried to take Liette too.
No wonder I became obsessed. No wonder I got twisted.
Even though Liette was already promised to someone else, I couldn’t let go.
I kept hovering around her.
People looked at me with scorn.
“A beta coveting an alpha’s omega.”
That shameful label clung to me like a curse.
“I shouldn’t have let it happen…”
Failing to uphold the dignity expected in noble society—what a childish and foolish mistake.
That social disgrace pulled the trigger on my eventual downfall.
Looking back now, I had no reason to feel so inferior.
No need to obsess so much.
“He’s him, and I’m me.”
Yeah. It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?
I acted exactly like the Edgar in the novel until my memories came back, and now here I am, suddenly being all reflective.
“This was all just a story, something that didn’t even happen to me—and yet here I am, feeling guilty over it.”
I let out a soft, wry laugh.
“What exactly shouldn’t have happened?”
Suddenly, a familiar voice came from near the door, and I shot upright in bed.
The door was open.
And he was standing there, arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe.
Cedric Soliwen.
The center of the novel’s world.
The man fated to end up with Liette.
The object of all my inferiority.
I instantly furrowed my brows.
“Hey! Why are you just barging in? I told you not to come.”
Unbelievable.
I specifically asked my parents not to let anyone in, especially him.
And yet—just three days later, they caved?
…For the record, my parents have always had a soft spot for him.
Damn it. They actually held out longer than I expected.
“Did you eat anything?”
“None of your business.”
I snapped at him pettily and turned away, swinging my feet down from the bed.
Cedric let out a quiet sigh through his nose.
I heard the sound of his footsteps getting closer, and when I glanced over without thinking, I flinched.
He plopped down right next to me—way too close.
Startled, I pulled my head back.
That could’ve ended badly.
“W-what?”
“What’s with you all of a sudden?”
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t even shown your face to Lett.”
Lett was our nickname for Liette.
I looked away slightly.
“I just… needed time to think.”
“…About what?”
“Just… stuff. Lots of stuff.”
……
All of a sudden, I felt something on my hand.
I looked down and saw Cedric’s large hand covering mine.
He slowly ran his palm over the back of my hand, sending a ticklish sensation up my arm.
“What are you doing?”
I tried to pull my hand away, but he held on tighter.
Then he pulled my hand toward him and started rubbing his thumb slowly across the back.
I had no idea what he was doing.
“Ce…”
I almost called him “Cedric” before catching myself.
Until just a few days ago, we were still calling each other by our childhood nicknames.
But ever since my past life memories came back, my head’s been all over the place—I nearly slipped.
“…Cedy.”
But when Cedric flinched like he’d just heard something he wasn’t supposed to, I was startled too.
I stammered as I continued speaking.
“Were you planning to stare at my hand until it burned a hole in it?”
Only then did Cedric, who had been gazing intently at me, shift his expression into something like a mock pout.
He shot me a glance, then let go of my hand.
And then—
“Call me that one more time.”
He suddenly made a strange request.
“…What?”
“Call me by that nickname again. Just once more.”
“….”
Hmm. I had no idea what he was getting at.
But it wasn’t exactly a difficult favor to grant.
So I moved my lips again, this time with clearer pronunciation than before.
“Cedy.”
“…One more time.”
“Ce—dy. There, happy n—hey, wait!”
Cedric, who had been sitting with his head down, suddenly lunged forward and hugged me.
The unexpected weight nearly toppled me over, and I barely managed to catch myself on the bed.
I tried to push him off, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Hey! What’s wrong with you?”
“…I’m just happy to see you after three days.”
“What? Wait, what—are you crying right now?”
“No.”
Yeah, right.
I could tell just by the sound of his voice.
“Seriously? Who cries because they’re happy to see someone?”
“…I’m not crying.”
“Let me see your face.”
“……”
I smacked him lightly on the back, but he still didn’t let go.
In the end, I couldn’t overcome the strength difference between an alpha and me, so I gave up and let myself sag against him with a tired groan.
“Anyone would think I told you I never wanted to see you again.”
“……”
Cedric didn’t respond.
All I could hear were the occasional, shaky breaths against my shoulder.
‘…Now that I think about it.’
Even when I kept pushing him away and treating him coldly, he always stayed by my side.
As I recalled those memories, I shifted out of my own self-absorbed emotions and started seeing things more clearly.
And in doing so, I finally recognized the constancy in Cedric’s actions.
‘Why would someone like him want to stay friends with someone like me?’
I always thought he showed off around me just to get under my skin.
But looking back, it didn’t seem like that was ever his intention.
…He was just always there for me.
Always trying to do something for me.
Always trying to help me, whenever he could.
‘He’s unnecessarily kind.’
Realizing that made me smile bitterly.
“I’m sorry. I’ve sorted things out now. I won’t act like that anymore.”
I’ve decided to let my feelings for Liette go, to bury them as just a fleeting emotion of the past.
From the moment I realized the true nature of my one-sided love, I knew I no longer had the right to continue it.
And to be honest, those feelings have already faded quite a bit.
My crooked affection for Liette—it’s better for everyone if I end it here and now.
‘I’ll quietly cheer the two of them on.’
Even if I remove myself from the flow of the original story, those two will find happiness on their own.
I want to live differently than I did in the novel.
Not interfere with their love and just live my own life properly.
That has to be the right path.
I patted Cedric’s back like you would a child.
He finally pulled away slightly and looked at me with quiet eyes.
“I thought you said you weren’t crying?”
Cedric’s eyes were red.
When I let out a small laugh, his gaze changed in a curious way.
“…Are you really the Eddy I know?”
“What now?”
“It’s weird. You’re suddenly being nice to me.”
“…You complain even when I’m nice, huh?”
Feeling a bit awkward, I got up from where I was sitting.
“Since you’re here, stay for a meal before you go.”
* * *
