* * *
In the darkness, a small rabbit messenger blinked at me.
Its appearance was exactly as I remembered.
It felt as if I had returned to the night of my thirteenth birthday.
“…Hyung? Is that really you?”
I asked, unsure if this was a dream.
The rabbit only looked at me, offering no immediate answer.
“Hyung?”
[Sei.]
The moment I finally heard his voice, my lips curled up unconsciously.
Relief washed over me, and my eyes stung.
I pressed my fingers against them, then let out an awkward laugh.
“…I’m back.”
[Yeah.]
A calm response.
[I waited.]
His voice, lower now, resonated through the room.
It was like a pebble dropping into a still lake, sending ripples outward.
My heart pounded harder.
I averted my gaze on purpose.
‘Damn it.’
Emotions flooded in before I could put up any defenses.
I needed to suppress them, hide them.
Even knowing Raizen was watching me, I couldn’t hold them back.
‘Calm down.’
I cleared my throat unnecessarily, trying to steady myself.
“…Thank you.”
That was all I could force out after much deliberation.
There were so many things I wanted to say, so many questions I wanted to ask.
How’s life at the academy?
Is the curse really dormant?
Did you really… wait for me?
An awkward silence lingered.
My lips moved slightly, searching for words, but Raizen spoke first.
[Did you have a good dream?]
An unexpected question.
Was my dream… a good one?
A dream.
Could I really call those years a dream?
Until I became aware, it was my reality.
A world where everything went exactly as I had wished.
No—everything I had ever wanted before coming here.
I had felt a vague sense of unease at times, but I had ignored it on purpose.
It was as if someone had been whispering that I shouldn’t.
That if this happiness shattered, I would never even grasp at happiness again.
So if he was asking whether it had truly been happiness—if the dream I had was a good one…
“No.”
I could answer without hesitation.
“Not at all.”
For a moment, I did wonder.
Couldn’t there have been a possibility where hyung and I lived that kind of life?
Where he didn’t leave, where he stayed by my side, supporting me?
But no matter how many times I thought about it, the answer was still the same—No.
Not because hyung had turned out to be Raizen.
‘I… The me from Korea, I died after being hit by a soju bottle.’
That was what I realized just before waking up.
When black tears streamed from hyung’s eyes and that perfect world began to collapse, the realization came naturally—like remembering that the number 2 follows 1.
‘I died.’
That was why my dream started from the moment I survived getting hit by that soju bottle.
That was why, over and over again, the dream reset every time I died so absurdly.
Even in the last dream, where I barely survived to the end, I faced countless near-death moments.
[Why?]
It felt like playing twenty questions.
Raizen and I—both trying to read each other’s hand while keeping our own cards hidden.
[Wasn’t it a good dream? Isn’t that why you slept for so long?]
His words sounded almost like a rebuke, though I knew he wouldn’t mean it that way.
Even so, I jokingly retorted,
“Hyung, were you lonely because I didn’t wake up?”
[Yeah.]
His answer came instantly.
So fast I thought I had misheard.
[I told you I waited.]
“…Haha.”
It felt unfair.
Raizen could see my face, my expression.
But I couldn’t see his.
What kind of expression was he making beyond the rabbit messenger?
Probably that same unreadable, frustratingly calm look.
Just like always.
But imagining it wasn’t enough.
If I could just see that emotionless face for myself, maybe my overflowing feelings would settle on their own.
“…Hyung.”
Did you know?
Once I got my thoughts together, the first thing I did was check.
Those damned ancient gods wouldn’t answer me, but their functions still worked fine.
So, of course, I checked his affinity level.
[Sei.]
He should’ve responded when I called him, but instead, he said my name.
We really don’t sync up.
But maybe that’s just how we are.
[Raizen Miel Pantheon / Affinity: -3]
Minus three.
Even now, it made me laugh.
Feeling any more despair over this would be ridiculous.
Why is love so difficult?
Is it just me, or is it this way for everyone?
If there really is a god of love in this world, I must’ve seriously gotten on their bad side.
[Sean.]
His voice carried a little more weight this time.
For the first time, Raizen called my full name instead of a nickname.
[I’ll be there soon.]
Before I could say anything, the rabbit messenger vanished.
As the light of the messenger faded, the room was swallowed by darkness.
I sat there, dazed, until Mila knocked on the door.
∗ ∗ ∗
The next day was just as hectic.
In the afternoon, I had a brief conversation through the communication device with Duke Pantheon.
In the evening, I exchanged greetings with the former Marquis Kreveta.
He barely spoke, only letting out quiet sobs for a while.
I had no way of knowing what Raizen meant when he said, “I’ll be there soon.”
Word was that exams overlapped exactly with his birthday, so he couldn’t even apply for special leave.
That’s why his birthday party and coming-of-age ceremony were scheduled for the weekend.
November had arrived in the blink of an eye. It was around this time of year that I had first opened my eyes in this world.
And now, Raizen’s birthday was just around the corner.
The timing was eerily coincidental.
Regardless, the ducal household was already in chaos just dealing with Raizen’s matters.
And now, with me suddenly waking up, things had only gotten more hectic.
Even if the Duchess had two bodies, it wouldn’t have been enough to manage everything.
Yet, despite her packed schedule, she still made time to check on me.
My body was perfectly fine, but it felt like I was needlessly taking up her time.
“I’m really okay. You don’t have to come check on me so often.”
At my hesitant words, she simply smiled and nodded.
And so, I began gathering information on everything that had happened over the past four years.
Fortunately, the ducal library had neatly organized newspapers and records, so I didn’t have to go out searching for information.
I took a bite of the sandwich Mila had insisted I eat and flipped through a newspaper.
‘The temple and the emperor remain locked in a stalemate.’
Shortly after I fell into slumber, the temple officially declared that a divine oracle had been given during the manifestation ceremony.
They then issued a demand to the emperor: ‘If you truly care for the empire, you must focus your efforts on identifying the Seed of Calamity.’
The emperor’s response was lukewarm.
If put simply, it was something along the lines of, ‘We’ve already got this under control. What more do you expect us to do?’
In response, the temple pushed further.
They offered to send their most talented priests and requested investigative authority.
The emperor refused.
And so, this stagnant battle had continued ever since.
There had been incidents—some resembling evidence that calamity was near—but the emperor thoroughly investigated each one and revealed their true nature.
Most turned out to be the work of rogue dark mages who had resurfaced.
The temple, for all its bold proclamations, had done nothing to help.
‘Of course. They don’t even have priests with divine power anymore.’
As these incidents repeated, an unexpected rumor began circulating.
At first, the citizens of the empire merely questioned the temple’s incompetence, but soon, they started doubting the temple’s power itself.
It was an inevitable outcome.
The temple had been loudly proclaiming the need to prepare for disaster, yet when real problems arose, it was always the emperor who handled them.
Still, I found this development intriguing.
I had assumed that no matter how useless the temple appeared, people would continue to separate the temple’s actions from the existence of their god—especially since the pope had personally spoken the words of the divine.
Yet, after some early public appearances for propaganda, even the pope had gone into near-total seclusion.
[The Temple Has Already Been Abandoned by the Gods!]
A striking newspaper headline exposed corruption among the clergy in excruciating detail.
‘’No wonder public opinion has turned against the temple.’
Over the past few years, the temple had been completely stripped bare.
And behind this, it wasn’t just the emperor—Duke Pantheon and the former Marquis of Kreveta were surely involved as well.
Because of this ongoing power struggle between the emperor and the temple, the real issue—who exactly was the Seed of Calamity?—remained buried under the surface.
And as for Raizen…
[Raizen Pantheon Captures Even the Heart of the Imperial Princess?!]
“…Seriously.”
Rather than being labeled as the Seed of Calamity, he had become famous for an entirely different reason.
It seemed he hadn’t just been studying at the academy—every time he attended an official event, magazines would explode with stories about him.
He was practically a celebrity.
‘There isn’t a single article that doesn’t mention ‘Red Rose’ in reference to him.’
A red rose.
Not exactly a term one would associate with a gentleman, but I had to admit—it fit.
His striking appearance, the deep rose scent of his pheromones…
‘I think I barely caught a whiff of it before I fell asleep…’
I idly wondered what it would feel like to experience his pheromones properly.
Tossing the magazine aside, I leaned back in my chair.
‘…Hm?’
Suddenly, the scent of roses filled the air.
My gaze, which had been fixated on the desk, lifted as I scanned the room.
At that moment, as if rose petals had been scattered in the air, a rich floral fragrance overwhelmed my senses.
“Bayrum… That’s a low-quality magazine.”
His voice was even more resonant in person, a smooth, deep sound that sent a shiver down my spine.
Long fingers picked up the magazine I had just thrown.
He skimmed through it with fluid ease before casually dropping it back onto the desk.
“What were you so curious about that you were reading this?”
His tone was nothing like the calm, detached voice I had heard through the rabbit messenger last night. It was warm, teasing.
Something inside me short-circuited—whether from shock or something else, I wasn’t sure.
For a moment, my vision blurred before I managed to refocus.
And then, right in front of me, with eyes crinkled in amusement as he smiled—
“If you’re curious, why not just see for yourself, Sei?”
—It was Raizen.
* * *
