* * *
Finding Vivisian alone wasn’t an easy task.
There were far too many places to consider based on his past life’s memories, as Vivisian had traveled extensively.
And as for this life’s memories, they weren’t much help either—Vivisian was a quiet person.
To be precise, he simply didn’t feel the need to speak much to the child he was protecting.
He was kind, but he was not someone who shared his own stories.
In both his past and present lives, he was always the one who listened, not the one who spoke.
So, Sia searched the places Vivisian had favored in both lives.
A sea with brilliant colors.
A field where the flowers bloomed beautifully around this time of year.
A territory known for its grand festivals.
A mountain where the stars were vividly visible.
A quaint little village filled with charming scenery.
He checked all five places, but Vivisian was nowhere to be found.
There was no time for despair, so Sia didn’t even bother to feel disappointed before choosing his next destination.
‘You sure have a lot of places you want to visit, Sia. Must be because you’re still young.’
‘…But it’s fascinating! A place with pink dolphins? Flowers that sparkle under the moonlight? Don’t you want to see them too, Vivi?’
‘Hmm… Patos Desert, maybe?’
‘Patos Desert?’
Sia still vividly remembered how Vivisian had chuckled at him, grumbling about how the name alone felt ominous.
‘An endless white desert—it sounds intriguing, doesn’t it? They say that when the sun sets, the world turns blood-red, as if by magic.’
Even as he spoke of his curiosity, his gaze never left the documents in front of him.
But Sia knew those words had been sincere, and that was enough reason to head for Patos Desert.
More than that, Patos Desert was where Sia had reunited with Vivisian in his past life.
Looking back, there had never been any real difference between the man who walked silently across the white sands and the Vivisian who had once cherished Sia.
Both loved the silence of others, both accepted their own deaths without resistance—an eerie, unchanging truth.
Standing there, Sia felt the ground beneath him begin to crumble as memories from the past resurfaced.
Vivisian had died when Retiyan cast the sealing spell.
The spell tightened around his heart, dragging him toward death at an agonizingly slow pace.
A healer, found far too late, had once said that Vivisian must have sensed his approaching death for days beforehand.
Back then, Sia had resented him for it—not because he believed he would survive, but because he had accepted his death so easily and carried on as if nothing had changed.
But now, it was all just part of the past.
Sia dared to fathom the depths of Vivisian’s despair, and he accepted the fact that Vivisian had longed for death.
And with that, his wish was no longer for Vivisian to live—but rather, for himself to become Vivisian’s reason to keep going.
Now, standing in the Patos Desert once more, Sia found himself face to face with the man who made him the most hopeless dreamer in the world.
Even with his face concealed by a turban, Sia knew without a doubt that the person before him was Vivisian—just as he had recognized him instantly in his dreams.
“…Vivisian.”
At the sound of his name, those clear blue eyes—untainted by any impurity—widened slightly.
It was the reaction of someone realizing that this wasn’t a dream, but reality.
As if the very idea of seeing Sia again had only existed in his dreams, he instinctively dismissed the moment as just another illusion.
But Sia wasn’t even upset.
After all, he had long known that this was the kind of person Vivisian was.
And knowing this, he didn’t find himself pathetic for loving him anyway.
‘It’s far too late for that.’
The thought passed through Sia’s mind as naturally as breathing, and he let out a quiet laugh.
“…Vivi.”
His voice carried a hint of impatience, as if urging Vivisian to respond.
Vivisian’s shoulders flinched slightly, and the crease in his brow—drawn from unease—gradually smoothed over as time passed.
After a slow blink, he untied his turban.
His cheeks, flushed from the desert’s scorching heat, were pressed lightly against the back of his hand as he exhaled a deep breath.
He looked completely different from the boy Sia had once known.
And yet, he was so unmistakably the same that it was impossible to feign ignorance.
“…Sia, why are you here?”
His voice, barely more than a groan, sent Sia’s lips twitching as he struggled to form a reply.
If he said it was a coincidence, Vivisian wouldn’t believe him—but he also wouldn’t press him for the truth.
Sia knew that until the truth surfaced, Vivisian would accept his lies.
And he didn’t want to lie to him.
Since the gods hadn’t forbidden him from revealing the truth…
It would be fine.
With his mind racing, Sia finally spoke, his anxiety clear in his expression.
“Why else? I came to see you, Vivi.”
Extending a hand, he added, “Come with me.”
But Vivisian wasn’t particularly surprised.
He remained calm, as if he had always expected someone to say those words to him sooner or later.
Standing precariously in the middle of the desert, he contemplated Sia’s request.
Had there been even a hint of coercion or threat, he would have refused outright.
But faced with an earnest plea, he couldn’t bring himself to do so.
And though the boy had now grown taller than him, if only by a few months, there was a time when he had been the one taking care of him.
…Of course, that didn’t mean his desire to live out the rest of his days alone had faded in the slightest.
He wavered for a moment, remembering how that small child had once looked up at him with wide, expectant eyes, asking him to leave together.
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t shaken.
It would be a lie…
But if he truly cared about him, all the more reason he couldn’t follow.
Perhaps word of his death hadn’t reached that far, given the empire’s distance.
Or perhaps the boy simply didn’t know that he had died and come back to life.
And he had no intention of making him witness that truth.
“I’m sorry. I only got this chance to travel by sheer luck, so I don’t think I can go with you, Sia. But if we get the chance later, maybe we can—”
“I… I already know you died and came back, Vivi! Of course I know. How could I not? I’m the one who saved you. So if coming back to life is the only reason you can’t, then… just think about it a little more.”
The time you have now… it’s because I saved you.
So it’s okay to give it to me, Vivi.
There was no way he could mistake those rushed, scattered words for anything but the truth.
Even if the time had been brief, he had practically raised him in the palm of his hand.
Vivisian ran a hand over his face, his expression clouded.
He had thought all of this was just some cruel trick of the gods.
But no—it was someone who loved him that had brought him back.
‘So that’s why the gods called it a trade and gave me a one-year reprieve…’
Only now did he finally understand the divine message that had never made sense before.
But that was that, and this was this.
Saying, ‘I saved you, so give me your time,’ was nothing more than an absurd demand.
Vivisian had never wanted this life in the first place.
Sia had forced this borrowed time upon him.
He had no obligation to take responsibility for it.
And now that Sia was no longer a child, there was no reason for Vivisian to keep treating him the way he had in the past.
With firm resolve, he rejected him.
“Sia, don’t act like a child. Eight years ago, you threw a fit whenever I treated you like one, and now that you’re an adult, you’re suddenly throwing tantrums like this? It’s ridiculous.”
His words weren’t particularly cold or harsh—just a simple refusal.
But Sia’s face fell as if his heart had lurched in his chest.
His reaction was so pitiful that even Vivisian was taken aback.
A heavy silence hung between them before Sia finally dropped his head.
He stood there quietly for a long time, staring at the ground.
When he spoke again, his voice was calmer, steadier.
“…I’m sorry for being childish. But… can’t you just think about it one more time? I’ll let you do whatever you want. Just stay by my side. If you want to go somewhere, you can go. If there’s something you want to eat, I’ll bring you everything. I’ll give you anything you want. I mean it. I won’t treat you carelessly. I’ll cherish you.”
Vivisian frowned slightly at the near-pleading words.
To Sia, he was the only comfort he had left after losing his parents and surviving the slave traders.
Of course he would be precious to him.
But even so, this was too much.
The time they’d spent together wasn’t that long.
And Sia had real family out there, people connected to him by blood.
Before Vivisian could fully make sense of his emotions, tears started spilling down Sia’s face.
He looked flustered, mumbling apologies as he tried to wipe them away.
But no matter what he did, they wouldn’t stop.
Eventually, he gave up and simply lowered his gaze.
“I like you. I like you so much that I just want to see you alive, by my side. I don’t want to live in fear, wondering when I’ll hear news of your death. I won’t ask you not to die. I won’t even ask you to live. Just… stay with me.”
Transparent tears rolled down his pale cheeks.
This wasn’t how he’d wanted to say it.
He had wanted to show him that the little boy who had clung to him had finally grown up.
That unlike his past life, he had been loved and raised well.
But the moment he stood before Vivisian, he always turned back into that same helpless, foolish child.
It didn’t matter if it was his previous life or this one.
Two lifetimes, and he had never truly changed.
Only Vivisian had the power to make him feel like an adult.
And Sia didn’t want to lose him.
Steeling himself, he met Vivisian’s gaze, his expression a mixture of vulnerability and determination.
His lips, damp with tears, parted slowly, and a breath-like whisper slipped through.
“Vivi… You were the one who said it first. If I let something go once, then the next time, you have to follow along. I watched you die right in front of me. So this time, you have to listen to my request… Please.”
With those final words, Sia clamped his mouth shut, as if afraid that speaking any more would break him.
Vivisian stared at him, eyes wide in shock.
There were traces of the boy he once knew, but Sia had grown—taller, older.
And yet, nothing about him had changed.
He was still just as stubborn.
Still silent in his grief.
Still unbelievably beautiful.
Vivisian gazed at him, conflicted.
Then, slowly, he raised his hand.
He had never been good at rejecting someone who laid their heart bare for him.
With a touch that was both clumsy and tender, he wiped the tears from Sia’s face.
“Don’t cry.”
His voice was calm, his movements steady—familiar, yet distant.
As if guided by instinct, Sia leaned into his hand, his voice thick with emotion as he whispered,
“I missed you. I really, really missed you, Vivi. I swear, I never lie to you.”
He closed his eyes, his expression full of longing, like someone who had lost everything only to find it again.
Vivisian’s gaze darkened with a swirl of emotions.
Sia had said he liked him.
But there were many kinds of affection in the world.
And Vivisian was certain—beyond a shadow of a doubt—that what Sia felt was nothing more than misplaced devotion toward a former guardian.
A feeling that would eventually fade, slipping away like smoke.
He could only hope it would disappear within the year.
With that thought, he finally spoke.
“…Tell me how you brought me back to life. I’ll listen and decide after that.”
He knew Sia would never lie to him.
And Sia, as if proving him right, met his gaze and nodded.
He would tell him everything.
* * *
