* * *
I gripped the reins tightly, thinking about the things I should do before I die.
Suddenly, I found myself wondering about Sia and Herel.
If the opportunity arose, I’d have to look into them.
With that thought, I turned my gaze elsewhere.
The lush greenery of the forest held neither the dampness of mold nor the metallic stench of iron bars.
I barely stopped, only pausing when my horse looked too exhausted to continue.
Thanks to that, by dawn the next day, I had reached the coastline bordering the Enia County.
Standing on the sandy shore, I swung myself off the horse in one swift motion.
Holding the reins in one hand, I slowly stepped forward.
The sound of waves crashing spread through the air.
The sea—seeing it for the first time—felt entirely different from a river or a lake.
Mesmerized, I watched as the dark sky reflected upon the deep blue waters.
Slowly, I approached the shore.
I walked until the seawater lapped at my ankles and then dipped my hand into the crystal-clear waves.
As I relished the cold liquid tickling my fingertips, I noticed the sky beginning to brighten.
“…It’s already this late.”
The sun was rising.
The brilliant glow of dawn stretched over the endless horizon, piercing my eyes.
Unconsciously, I relaxed my furrowed brows and let out a long breath.
If the rest of this year passed like this, it would go by in no time.
It had been so long since life didn’t feel like pure suffering.
What was it that the gods were trying to show me?
The beauty of life?
Or perhaps that the life I had so readily abandoned wasn’t as unbearable as I had thought?
I didn’t know.
But standing here, savoring the quiet serenity of the ocean, I found myself thinking about the boy who had once asked me to leave with him—the one I had left behind without a second thought.
“…You’re doing well, aren’t you?”
Even though I had left like that, I had at least found his family for him.
Sia had someone to take my place—someone better than me.
Yes.
Back then, I had believed I was nothing more than a fleeting presence in Sia’s childhood, a mere fragment of his life.
So I trusted that he would be fine without me.
I had never felt the need to look back on what I had left behind.
And even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to.
There hadn’t been a proper information guild to turn to.
But one thing was certain: on the day I was supposed to have died in the Duke of Teian’s castle, someone had been handling my body with utmost care.
At first, after returning to life, I had thought it was all divine intervention.
But it was impossible to dismiss it so easily.
The new clothes neatly arranged in my wardrobe and the eerily unchanged state of my surroundings made it clear—there was something more.
So I had taken precautions, camping out in remote places and avoiding crowds.
That was why I hadn’t been able to visit a proper information guild until today, when I finally arrived in a large city with one.
And now, I had my answer as to why my body had been treated so carefully.
“…The reason they didn’t cremate or bury my corpse was because of indecision. But the one who tended to me with such devotion… was entirely Haen De Winter’s choice?”
I couldn’t stop the hollow laugh that escaped me as I read that part.
‘What the hell is this bastard trying to pull?’
After purchasing the information, I had left the guild and found a quiet place to read.
From the moment I began, this thought refused to leave my mind.
Just to avoid suspicion, I had bought reports on the Teian Duchy along with my own.
But the more I read, the more undeniable it became.
Haen was suffering from the same madness as in the “original story.”
At first, his violent tendencies only surfaced when he was unconscious, but over time, they worsened.
Recently, he had even begun displaying aggression while fully aware.
And yet, the only place where he remained calm… was my bedroom.
I stared at that sentence with cold eyes.
“…The world really has all kinds of lunatics.”
Unable to hold back, I muttered a curse under my breath and let the report slip from my hand.
I ran a hand down my face, releasing a bitter chuckle.
A surge of unplaceable emotion welled up inside me.
After forcing myself to calm down, I continued reading.
The world had remained unchanged since my death, but the Teian Duchy had not.
When an Apostle dies an unjust death, heretics always swarm the place where they fell.
As expected, heretics had begun appearing regularly, and a dedicated subjugation force had been formed to deal with them.
There was no body, but a memorial had been built in my honor.
The current duke, Lejun, held even less power than I had as the temporary duke.
He was merely a figurehead, and because of lingering guilt, people still regarded me as the true Duke of Teian.
I closed my eyes.
Only after my death had everything fallen into place.
People had come to believe in my innocence, admitting they had been wrong about me.
An unbearable sense of emptiness flooded my chest.
“…You should’ve just kept misunderstanding me until the end. Why now…?”
Muttering absentmindedly, I read through the pages summarizing my life after death.
Then, my eyes caught on a single name.
It was Asis.
Asis had been the one to prove my innocence.
I froze.
“…Herel.”
I whispered the name like a sigh.
A memory surfaced—something he had said to me once.
“If Lord Vivisian does not reveal the truth by the day you die… then I will do it in your place.”
“…You… actually kept your word.”
I hadn’t doubted Herel, but I had thought it was just a fleeting promise, spoken in the heat of the moment.
Standing alone to prove the innocence of someone whom the entire world had condemned—it was never an easy thing to do.
People would rather join the crowd in hating someone than bear the loneliness of standing against them.
And yet, the Herel recorded on these ink-stained pages had defied that reality.
With downcast eyes, I traced the letters of his name, taking in every word detailing his actions.
[After the restoration of Vivisian Teian’s honor, Asis disappeared.
Upon Haen De Winter’s request, an investigation was launched into his whereabouts, but no leads were found.
No contact for eight years since his disappearance.
It is presumed that he either assumed a new identity and is living as a completely different person… or is deceased.]
“…Deceased.”
My gaze lingered on that word for a long time before I finally closed the report.
I pulled my bag from my back and stuffed the papers inside.
I wasn’t going to read any more today.
Originally, I had intended to look up information on Sia as well.
But the Merien Principality was an extremely isolated nation, making it difficult to find any details about its successor.
I’d have to head somewhere closer to the principality and try again later.
Deeper into the city, I went.
As I moved, the rats that had been lurking in the Shadows scattered in a frenzy.
The rustling sounds triggered an old memory—one from my time in prison.
My body stiffened instinctively before I forced myself to relax.
This wasn’t the Teian Duchy.
There was no one left to misunderstand me.
I knew that.
And yet, my tense body refused to calm.
Pressing a hand over my mouth, I focused on steadying my breath through my nose.
I braced myself against the wall, eyes fixed on the dirt-covered ground, and willed my mind to think of something else.
“I’m going to the desert now—the one I’ve wanted to visit for a long time. Yesterday, I figured it would be difficult to take a horse there, so I sold it… I had to walk for a while after selling it, but no one recognized me. No one was looking for me either.”
Fortunately, by the time I was debating whether to use the money from selling the horse to rent a camel, I had managed to regain my composure.
Straightening my half-bent posture, I gathered my energy.
As I felt my body slowly dissipating, I closed my eyes.
“It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all….”
My faintly murmured words melted into the alley I had left behind.
When I opened my eyes again, I had arrived in a village near the desert.
I bought a turban first, deciding to look for a camel later if I needed one.
With my face wrapped in cloth, I walked slowly toward the desert.
It was a place frequented by mercenaries and, occasionally, travelers.
No one paid much attention to me as I walked—just another ordinary passerby.
As I got closer to the famed Pathos Desert, known for its striking white sand, the air grew thick and stifling. I took a deep breath in, then exhaled slowly.
The original story may not have mentioned it, but at this moment, I was certain—Haen must have gone mad when I died.
Knowing that my body had disappeared, there was no way he would stay still.
‘I’ll just stop by Páthos Desert and then head to another continent entirely.’
The Merien Principality seemed like a good destination.
There was no use in panicking—it wouldn’t change anything—so I maintained a calm demeanor.
As I continued my unhurried pace, I felt someone watching me.
I rolled my eyes toward the source of the gaze without turning my head.
A child was staring at me, unblinking.
For some reason, they couldn’t take their eyes off me.
Beneath my turban, I gave them a small smile before quickening my pace.
I still had a decent amount of money left from selling my jewelry, but to prepare for my journey to Meriain, I would need to take on mercenary work and earn more.
As I pondered what jobs might be available, the desert came into view in no time.
* * *
