* * *
Why couldn’t Kaindel express this dissatisfaction?
He reached out as if he could grab hold of something—anything—but his hands found only cold, unyielding stone.
The chill grounded his scattered thoughts, and the reality veiled by the currents began to come into view.
The chaos and anxiety gradually washed away.
“Why don’t you head back first, Eshi?”
Kaindel finally spoke, letting out a long exhale, trying his best to suppress the emotions threatening to overflow.
Don’t smile at others so easily.
Don’t give up so readily.
Why are we just friends?
You like me, don’t you?
Don’t abandon me.
These disjointed sentences swirled in his mind but never made it past his lips.
…Wait.
As he stared at Isa’s retreating figure, Kaindel’s brow furrowed.
Something didn’t sit right.
‘If Isa’s feelings for me cooled, it would be unfortunate, but it would be beyond my control.
But now that I thought about it, somewhere along the line, I had started fearing being abandoned by him—not disappointing him, not earning his hatred, but specifically being left behind.
Abandonment.
To be abandoned, one must first possess something. By that logic, did Isa really hold the power to abandon me?
No, he didn’t.
The foundation of their relationship was Isa liking him and Kaindel being intrigued by and possessive of Isa. In such a relationship, where nothing substantial was exchanged, the act of abandonment shouldn’t even exist.
And yet, I was afraid.’
Kaindel tilted his head back.
Isa’s silver hair swayed in the breeze as he neared the others.
The sight reminded Kaindel of a dandelion, delicate yet stubborn.
Something he had thought insignificant had grown and now consumed his heart entirely.
“…”
Now he knew where it all went wrong.
Kaindel knew he needed to talk to Isa properly.
That was the conclusion he reached after some time.
He finally understood what he had to do, how to move forward and address the fractured relationship.
No, perhaps “fix” wasn’t the right word.
Moving forward—that felt more fitting.
He refused to stand by helplessly.
If change was required to hold onto him, then he would change. Whatever it took.
But he never expected to face a scene like this, just hours after making that decision.
“Daniel.”
“Yes?”
“Go back to camp and bring the others.”
Kaindel tightened his grip on his sword, glancing at Daniel.
It was the first time he had seen Daniel injured this severely.
Daniel’s talents lay more in strategy than combat.
During fights, he usually stayed back.
His only weapon was a dagger, better suited for long-range attacks than close combat.
He rarely found himself in danger.
So why did he venture out recklessly?
Kaindel inwardly chastised both Daniel and Isa for leaving the camp on their own.
If they had stayed put, they wouldn’t have encountered Morhan.
Did they want to be alone that badly?
He knew it was a baseless suspicion, but the irritation continued to simmer.
‘If I hadn’t arrived in time…’
Kaindel clicked his tongue, imagining the worst-case scenario.
“Are you sure you want me to go?”
Daniel’s eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected command.
His gaze lingered briefly on Isa before turning away, as if deciding it would be better for him to go than Isa.
After all, no one could predict where or when Morhan might strike next.
“All right. I’ll head back quickly.”
With a nod, Daniel hurried toward the camp, his dark hair disappearing into the distance.
Kaindel watched him go before turning his gaze to Isa, who stood fidgeting.
His senses, now attuned to the darkness, picked up even the smallest movements.
“Kaindel.”
“Shhh, you’re hurt. Don’t speak, just stay still.”
“…What am I supposed to do on my own?”
“It’s fine. I’ve dealt with guys like that plenty of times before.”
“I’m not joking right now.”
“Neither am I.”
Kaindel replied playfully to Isa, who darted his eyes nervously around.
It was meant to ease the tension.
Kaindel had plenty of experience handling high-level monsters alone.
The archer Sehir, with her sharp personality, often disobeyed orders, and Ruen’s defiance was more of a hindrance than help.
As for Daniel and Owen, they were better left out of combat, but there was no point wasting words explaining that.
More importantly…
Kaindel cast a glance at Morhan.
The monster was observing cautiously, sizing up the new opponent that had appeared out of nowhere.
Once its evaluation was complete, it would undoubtedly attack.
“Why did you step in and get yourself hurt? Is Daniel that important to you?”
Noticing there was still some time to speak, Kaindel voiced his thoughts, his words a veiled truth disguised as a joke.
“Daniel is my companion. Besides, I was confident in my speed.”
“So now he’s a companion?”
Last time, it was “friend.”
Kaindel muttered under his breath and let out a short laugh.
The sound of his breath escaping through his teeth dissipated into the air.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. Anyway, Isa.”
Just as Isa was about to question him further, Morhan, who had been observing Kaindel, shifted its posture as though it was preparing to strike.
The monster’s stiff tails hanging in the air began to stir one by one.
Kaindel adjusted the angle of his sword in response.
“Wait here quietly while I take care of this.”
“…”
“I have something to say when I get back.”
It wasn’t the ideal moment for a serious discussion, but it couldn’t be helped.
Their worsening relationship needed to be addressed.
That required defeating Morhan first.
Though unfamiliar with fighting a monster capable of manipulating so many tails, Kaindel had a good idea of where its core was located, which made things manageable.
Still, perhaps it was his impatience that led to trouble.
“…Kaindel.”
Kaindel slowly opened his eyes, feeling as if something had pierced through him.
Just as Morhan sent one of its tails toward Isa behind him, Kaindel threw himself forward.
His blade struck true, driving directly into Morhan’s core.
However, he hadn’t anticipated the monster’s final thrash—its tail impaling his abdomen.
Drip, drip.
Blood dripped to the ground, forming a pool beneath him.
As Morhan’s core shattered, the monster dissolved into ash.
Kaindel shifted his gaze away and frowned at the sharp pain that finally registered.
It was agony unlike anything he had ever experienced.
His dry lips twitched but failed to form even a groan.
The pain was excruciating, as if his insides had been shredded.
Kaindel let his heavy, blood-drained body collapse forward, reflecting on the moment he twisted to strike Morhan’s core, even as its tail came at him.
It was an attack he could have dodged easily.
Too slow, too crude.
Normally, he would have struck cleanly from the optimal position, minimizing risk.
But for some reason, he had chosen the worst option—and yet, he felt no regret.
Essi hurried to Kaindel’s side as soon as he fell.
His shallow, erratic breaths were unsettling.
Scanning Kaindel up and down, Isa bit his lower lip as if suppressing a sob.
Still, tears streaked his face.
“You’re hurt.”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you do it?”
“You were about to die.”
“Does that even matter? Now you’re the one dying. Look at you, Kaindel.”
“Stop talking. It’ll make you feverish.”
“You’re bleeding too much. Owen isn’t even here. What do we do? Kaindel, what should I do?”
Kaindel stared at Isa, whose image blurred in his darkening vision.
The familiar sensation of his sight fading to black was disconcerting.
The blood loss made it impossible to keep his eyes open.
Exhaustion weighed on him, threatening to drag him under, but he clung to consciousness.
He felt warmth on his face suddenly.
Was Isa crying?
The muffled sound of sobbing reached his ears.
The thought that someone would cry so desperately for him stirred something strange and bittersweet in Kaindel.
“I feel good.”
“What?”
“It feels good that you care about me and only me.”
“You’re…”
Isa seemed ready to scold him for saying such nonsense even now but stopped.
Kaindel regretted not being able to see the pout on those red lips one last time.
He realized then that he couldn’t let this go.
“Isa, if we became lovers…”
“…Yeah.”
“Then what happens next?”
The thought began as light curiosity.
“Would you stop pushing me away?”
“Do you like me now, Kaindel?”
The curiosity led to the thrill of solving a riddle.
“Yeah.”
And at the end of it all came relief.
If he had to change to keep Isa from leaving, then he would.
Whatever it took.
Even if it meant reshaping the emotions he displayed.
Kaindel finally understood the answer.
The way to turn Isa’s heart, to smooth their tilted relationship, and to rid Isa’s side of nuisances like Daniel or Owen.
Lovers.
“Yeah, that’s it, Isa.”
Not companions. Not friends.
That would be the name of their bond.
* * *
