* * *
“Please avoid alcohol and cigarettes, and I’ll give you some folic acid supplements. Also, there are prenatal tests….”
I was staring at the ultrasound pictures absentmindedly when the doctor’s words made me snap to attention.
“Can’t I drink alcohol?”
“Have you been drinking?”
The mention of alcohol made my heart sink. Without knowing anything, I had drunk during the orientation and at the beginning of the semester.
I had even gotten drunk at the orientation.
The doctor asked me a few questions and assured me that the baby seemed healthy, advising me to follow the precautions and live healthily as the baby grew.
He said that my anxiety could affect the baby, so I should try to stay calm.
The doctor explained that if the prenatal tests showed no major issues, they would give us more information at the next visit.
After checking my blood pressure and weight and drawing some blood, we left the examination room.
Leaving the hospital, I felt uneasy. I wished I had known earlier. Or that I had suspected something sooner. Taeshin gently cupped my cheek as I regretted my carefree days.
“Don’t worry, Sunwoo. The baby is healthy now, and it will continue to be.”
“But because of me….”
“No. It’s because of me. I should have been more careful. It’s my fault. Isn’t that right, Sunwoo?”
Taeshin looked directly into my eyes, firmly taking the blame. I bit my lip. No, that’s not it. When I first found out, I was terrified and told Taeshin to take full responsibility, but I didn’t really mean it.
Both Taeshin and I had forgotten about that day, but Taeshin never took back his words. As if waiting for me to agree, he looked at me quietly. I buried my face in his chest and shook my head.
“It’s not your fault….”
Why do you always take all the blame?
I suddenly remembered the incident with Moon Jinwooo’s glasses.
Taeshin had confessed to breaking them, taking all the punishment alone. I feared he’d do the same now, claiming full responsibility.
I hugged Taeshin tightly and clamped my mouth shut.
“There’s plenty of time.”
Taeshin comforted me and said,
“By the way, Sunwoo.”
“No, I won’t answer.”
“If you want to eat, we have to go now.”
“Again… what?”
Just like Park Kangseop’s theory of Taeshin being the ruler of everything, I thought Taeshin would try to persuade me again.
But he brought up something different—food. I looked up at Taeshin and opened my mouth in surprise.
“Are you okay not eating before the lecture?”
“…We need to eat.”
We had to eat on time. At Taeshin’s sharp question, I picked up my phone and nudged his side. Hurry and find a good place. We should eat something delicious.
“Sunwoo, wKo Hyungbinin? There are a lot of people.”
“Have fun. I have work to do.”
“What about Taeshin?”
As soon as we took our seats in the lecture hall, Jung Noeul came over, greeting us and inviting us to a gathering. I turned down the tempting offer, and Taeshin also shook his head at Jung Noeul.
“You both seem busy.”
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s hang out together next time.”
Feeling bad for declining the invitation, Jung Noeul waved and went off to invite someone else. Watching her leave made me feel a bit down.
I wanted to meet and hang out with people, but it was hard not to drink in those situations.
I had thought I’d be able to drink and have fun in college, but reality was a life of abstinence and no smoking. Not that smoking was ever a problem, but I missed drinking.
“You’re abstaining too.”
“What?”
“Until I can drink again, you can’t either.”
“Oh.”
Feeling empty after rejecting Jung Noeul, I glared at Taeshin. Understanding my words, he laughed while continuing his studies. Laugh? Laugh at me?
“This is so unfair. Only I… have to deal with this, and only I can’t drink! You should give up something too!”
“Alright. I’ll refrain from drinking with you, Sunwoo.”
It was so unfair that only I had restrictions when we both got into this situation.
When searching for a good restaurant earlier, we found many places for pizza and pasta, but most of the food in that neighborhood had cheese, which I couldn’t eat, so we had to skip those.
Frustrated, I hit Taeshin’s back, but he just looked confused, making me even more annoyed.
Morning sickness, no drinking, my body aching all over. It felt like I was the only one suffering.
Suddenly feeling down, I turned away from Taeshin and buried my head in my arms.
I didn’t know why my mood, which had been fine after a good meal and before the lecture, suddenly plummeted.
As I lay there, a hand rested on my head.
“Sorry.”
Tears welled up at Taeshin’s apology. I hated him so much sometimes, but I also hated how easily he apologized.
Why are you apologizing when I’m venting? As tears threatened to spill, Taeshin continued.
“Or should I burn down all the bars so no one can drink?”
“…No thanks.”
The absurd joke made me laugh a little despite my pride. Turning to look at him, I saw Taeshin resting his chin on his arm, looking at me gently and warmly. Avoiding his gaze, I hesitated before speaking.
“Something must be wrong with me.”
“It’s normal. Your mood swings from good to bad, and vice versa.”
Surprised at how accurately he described my mood, I looked at him. Taeshin gently stroked my hair.
“People say I’ve been clueless for ten years, so I should at least study hard.”
“I thought you were trying to be more aware.”
“I’m working on it. Guess it doesn’t show yet.”
“Not at all.”
“That’s pretty hurtful.”
Taeshin said in a mock-injured tone, like he was reading from a book. When I laughed, he laughed too and softly brushed my temple with his fingertips.
Feeling better, I mustered up energy and focused on the rest of the lecture.
During the lecture, the topic of midterms came up.
This time, it wasn’t my strange pregnancy mood swings but the objectively grim outlook on my grades that made me pressure Taeshin to take responsibility.
So, we planned to study together from tomorrow. We would study our own subjects, but being together meant I could ask questions easily and be motivated by seeing Taeshin study.
“Why not start today?”
“Today, there’s something more important.”
There was something more important to resolve than studying today. After the lecture, we moved to an empty classroom.
Locking the door, I made Taeshin sit down and took a seat opposite him, scribbling on a notebook.
“Baby’s name.”
“We need to come up with a name for our baby. We can’t just call it baby.”
“A name… Right. Any ideas?”
“Yes, I’ve thought of a few… like this.”
I listed the names I had thought of: Sturdy, Vigorous, Lucky, Golden, Bean. Then I crossed out names like Lucky and Golden.
“These won’t do.”
My mom had dreamed of a handsome golden pig. It would be awkward if she found out if we named the baby something related to that.
“All these names are cute and nice.”
“Don’t just say they’re all good. If you have any ideas, tell me.”
“Let me see…”
Taeshin looked seriously at the names I wrote, like he was tackling a difficult problem. Watching him groan with his eyes lowered, I shook my head.
For a moment, I was captivated, just staring at Taeshin without thinking.
Snap out of it, Moon Sunwoo. Taeshin didn’t even try to seduce you today.
But Taeshin struggling with a tough problem was a rare sight.
Suddenly, I found Taeshin looking even cuter and more handsome.
It would be great if our baby resembled Taeshin. If our baby looks like Taeshin, even if it’s a girl, she’ll be handsome and pretty.
Taeshin next to Taeshin Junior—that’s awesome. A handsome father and a handsome child.
“Taeshin Junior…”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t you say something about my junior?”
“I didn’t.”
When I denied it firmly, Taeshin blinked in confusion and looked back at the notebook.
“You want the baby to look like me?”
“Yes, appearance-wise…”
Oops. Got caught.
As Taeshin laughed at the names I wrote, I covered my face with both hands and banged my forehead on the desk.
“You said you didn’t care about my looks, but that’s not true.”
“Be quiet.”
“Sunwoo always tells me to be quiet.”
Through my fingers, I sneaked a peek and saw Taeshin smiling brightly at me. His cheerful smile was soft and kind but also a bit annoying.
“…Do you like it?”
“Yeah. No matter how I think about it, Moon Sunwoo’s ideal type is me.”
“Why would you be my ideal type?”
“Handsome, kind, obedient. That’s exactly me.”
“You don’t listen at all.”
I removed my hands from my face and clenched my fist.
Even though I thought Lee Taeshin was handsome and kind, and he did listen well, I still argued that he wasn’t my ideal type.
Taeshin lowered his gaze and tilted his head.
“I do listen well.”
“Where? I just told you to be quiet….”
“That’s because Sunwoo always tells me to be quiet.”
“What else should I say when I want you to be quiet?”
“There are other ways.”
What ways? I followed his gaze with my own. His eyes landed on my lips. I quickly covered them with my hand.
“What are you looking at?”
“Moon Sunwoo.”
“Don’t lie. You….”
I know you were staring at my lips!
My face turned red as I glared at Taeshin, who shamelessly smiled with twinkling eyes. He leaned on the desk and tilted his body towards me.
“Anyway, there are other ways….”
Smooch.
“…Happy now?”
Lee Taeshin’s eyes widened. If you don’t want to see me explode, be quiet. I grumbled sulkily.
The surprise kiss worked. Taeshin, not expecting the kiss, stopped talking and just blinked at me.
“I didn’t agree to this.”
Smooch.
“Then report it to the police. Just be quiet.”
“One more time.”
Not showing any sign of dislike, he smiled happily. Fine, here you go. I gave him another kiss, and Taeshin shyly followed, gently rubbing his lips against mine before pulling away.
“Call him Haeju.”
“Haeju?”
“Happy junior.”
“Not Baby?”
“This sounds more like a name. Shortened to Haeju.”
I quieted Lee Taeshin with a surprise kiss and chose a name for the baby. The name ‘Junior’ suddenly made me think of this.
“I hope the baby receives love from everyone and is happy.”
When I first found out about the pregnancy, I couldn’t be happy. At first, I was shocked, then I felt scared as if I had committed a huge sin.
I thought I should get rid of it, but once I decided to have the baby, I felt sorry for all the thoughts I had.
So, I hoped that in the future, the baby would be celebrated and loved by many people. Even if we, the parents, were too young to be blessed, I wanted the baby to be happy with our love.
Taeshin, who had been quietly listening to me, held my hand. His touch was soft but firm.
“I guarantee, this baby will be born and grow up receiving the most love and congratulations in the world.”
“Of course. Whose baby do you think this is?”
I nodded firmly, matching Taeshin’s serious gaze with my own.
* * *
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