* * *
I couldn’t respond. Kim Chanyi was foolish and stupid.
Of all the people, he chose to love me.
Kim Chanyi was a good person, and I wasn’t.
The disparity would make Kim Chanyi more miserable.
I still thought Kim Chanyi was foolish, but I began to question his misery.
Maybe Kim Chanyi wasn’t unhappy.
Maybe it was really okay for him to continue like this.
On the surface, his eyes sparkled, and his smile was perfect.
He looked more lively than anyone else.
But was it all an act?
I knew well about Kim Chanyi’s acting skills.
“Hyunoh, don’t be scared.”
For days, I was afraid of how pleasure would change us.
The deeper the kiss with Kim Chanyi, the more I worried about his expectations.
The hope that I might come to like him.
Expectations always leave scars.
But Kim Chanyi said it was okay.
It was okay not to like him, and to let things flow naturally.
“If one day you suddenly don’t want to kiss, then we won’t. Everything will be according to your will. I’ll just make suggestions.”
Kim Chanyi only opened the path for me.
The choice was solely mine.
Our relationship was one-sided.
He was considering me, but why did I feel so stifled?
At some point, it became very difficult for me to decide anything on my own.
“Forget that I like you. If you want to define our relationship… should we call it friends with benefits? But technically, we haven’t gone all the way.”
“Don’t joke.”
“A joke?”
Kim Chanyi tilted his head and looked at me intently.
Then he smiled innocently, as if he hadn’t said anything.
I swallowed hard.
For some reason, my face felt hot, and I hung my head low.
I wasn’t sure about Kim Chanyi, but it wasn’t a joke to me.
I tried to sound casual as I asked.
“Kim Chanyi, do you want to do it with me?”
“Yeah.”
Kim Chanyi answered without a moment’s hesitation.
He gently caressed the rim of my ear with his fingers and then made a suggestion.
His voice was very polite and courteous.
“Why? Do you want to try it?”
Whenever I kissed Kim Chanyi, caught up in a moment of madness, I sometimes wondered.
Would we stop here, or would we eventually go all the way, like in those porn videos?
Could the acts in those videos really feel that good?
“Hyunoh, have you ever thought about it?”
“No way. I’m not crazy. Never.”
My voice grew louder, betraying my unease.
“It would feel good.”
“Ah, just stop it.”
As I quickly shook my head in disgust, Kim Chanyi shrugged and backed off.
“Okay, got it.”
But he still stared intently at my erection.
“So, you’re going to handle this on your own?”
“…….”
“I want to help you. Is that not okay?”
Kim Chanyi then gave me a gentle, pecking kiss, like a bird.
My resolve to go to my room and watch porn was weakening with his playful kiss.
Kim Chanyi looked at me with slow blinks.
The ball was in my court. It was an irresistible proposal.
Tempting and sweet.
Like a guilty pleasure you know is bad for you but can’t quit, Kim Chanyi was the same.
His kindness was too dangerous.
For someone like me who shunned being loved, it would eventually be poison.
Knowing that. Why, again.
Kim Chanyi’s hand stroked my waist.
Slowly, I parted my lips and spoke.
Only after we both climaxed together on the sofa did I return to my room.
***
These days, I feel like I’m backed into a corner.
I should have never mentioned the word “sex.”
Kim Chanyi latched onto it and wouldn’t let go. T
he initial retreat was just a step back for a greater leap forward.
Whenever the mood turned a bit suggestive, Kim Chanyi would inevitably propose,
“Want to try? It’ll feel good.”
I’ve heard it so often that I think I’ve been brainwashed.
Yeah, it probably would feel good.
Kim Chanyi is incredibly clever and sensitive.
If I had truly hated it, he would have stopped asking.
He never does anything that completely goes against my feelings.
He must have sensed my hesitation.
He must have seen the brief flicker of interest in my eyes when he asked, “Want to try?”
Honestly, all the naughty things we did together felt amazing.
Sometimes I wondered what would come next.
They say there are even greater pleasures out there.
My desire knew no bounds.
The more I tasted pleasure, the stronger I craved it.
Lately, Kim Chanyi hasn’t been properly dressing after a shower.
He’s trying to tempt me. It’s driving me crazy.
Yesterday, he came out with just pants on, and today, just a towel around his waist.
I was watching TV and exclaimed,
“Hey. Put on some clothes.”
“It’s hot.”
Ridiculous.
Summer is ending.
Kim Chanyi knows exactly how attractive his body is and he’s using it.
His body is pale and perfectly toned.
The blatant temptation was almost laughable, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Kim Chanyi went to the kitchen and drank cold water.
His back was perfectly sculpted, with broad shoulders, tight muscles around his spine, and a perfectly toned butt with a slight glimpse of his butt crack.
His butt… it’s pretty… Would it feel good inside there?
I haven’t even done it with a woman, but is it okay if my first time is with Kim Chanyi?
Before I knew it, Kim Chanyi had put on some clothes and plopped down next to me.
I was so lost in thought that I was startled and turned to look at him.
Without warning, he kissed me on the lips and then pulled away.
“What are you doing?”
“You were staring at my butt earlier. It’s a service.”
“I wasn’t staring.”
“You were.”
“No, I wasn’t. You’re so ridiculous.”
I was so flustered that I started to sweat at the back of my neck.
“If you want to touch my butt, you can.”
“Are you crazy?”
* * *
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