* * *
Kim Chanyi’s skin started to turn red from his neck up.
The calm Kim Chanyi from earlier was gone, replaced by a man full of excitement.
As our noses nearly touched, I finally managed to speak.
“Kim Chanyi… Wait… Uh.”
But my words were cut off as he kissed me.
Kim Chanyi’s tongue invaded my mouth roughly, and I couldn’t move.
My brain seemed to shut down.
All I could do was breathe through my nose, accepting his kiss.
Was this what kissing was like?
My mind went blank.
It had been so long since I’d kissed someone, my memory was fuzzy.
I’d avoided physical contact with others for so long.
His tongue pressed and explored my mouth, creating strange sensations.
I had always thought kisses were sweet and ticklish.
They weren’t.
They were rough, sticky, and suffocating.
“Ugh.”
Kim Chanyi’s teeth pressed down on my lower lip, sending a sharp pain through me.
I felt a strange sensation in my lower abdomen.
Kim Chanyi skillfully licked, bit, and pulled my tongue.
My body slowly fell back.
Thud. My back hit the sofa, and Kim Chanyi continued kissing me while straddling me.
“I get excited. When I see you.”
Chanyi’s words buzzed incessantly in my ears.
It couldn’t be true. For two weeks, Chanyi had seemed so nonchalant.
Was it all just an act?
It didn’t make sense.
I didn’t want to believe it, but I couldn’t deny it either.
The hard flesh pressing against my leg confirmed Chanyi’s words.
Our legs were intertwined.
Chanyi’s lower body was warm.
The hand that had been gripping my shoulder was now cupping my face.
Firm, smooth, white fingers caressed the rim of my ear and my temple.
It went beyond a tickle—it almost hurt.
Chanyi’s saliva slowly made its way into my mouth.
It felt like I was suffocating, like I was in a sauna.
It was hot.
Too hot. Our tangled bodies generated heat.
Tears welled up in my stubbornly closed eyes.
Ridiculous moans escaped from my mouth, which Chanyi had covered.
This shouldn’t be happening.
Kissing Chanyi?
My body and mind were paralyzed by the unfamiliar sensation.
I felt like I was going crazy.
What would happen when this kiss ended?
Would it even end?
Chanyi seemed determined never to let me go.
I wondered what Chanyi was thinking.
I tried to open my eyes slightly to see Chanyi’s face.
My vision was blurred by tears.
But even through the blur, I could see Chanyi’s dark eyes clearly.
“Mm.”
I shuddered in surprise.
I had expected Chanyi’s eyes to be closed.
Instead, Chanyi was staring intensely at my face with eyes wider than usual.
I was so startled that I nearly hiccuped.
I quickly closed my eyelids again.
I couldn’t bear to meet Chanyi’s gaze.
Was it just my imagination?
The kiss seemed to become more intense after our eyes met.
Chanyi’s hands were now stroking my cheeks and neck.
Chanyi rubbed the area behind my ear with a thumb.
“Hng.”
My absurd moans continued.
Chanyi’s arousal showed no sign of subsiding.
I felt like crying.
I wished I found this repulsive enough to feel nauseated.
If I could just knee Chanyi in the groin with all my strength, I could escape this situation.
But I couldn’t do it.
Why?
My toes curled, and my stomach felt hot.
It finally dawned on me.
Although not as much as Chan, I was also aroused.
A frantic alarm sounded in my mind.
If this continued, something terrible would happen.
I mustered the strength to move my limp arm from under the sofa.
I barely managed to hit Chanyi’s back.
Thud.
As if by magic, Chanyi’s movements stopped.
The seemingly endless kiss ended.
Chanyi slowly pulled away and sat up.
I half-opened my eyes to look up at Chanyi.
It was an expression I had never seen before.
Everything about Chan—eyes, cheeks, lips—was red.
Chanyi’s eyes still glistened with excitement.
Suddenly, I felt afraid of Chanyi.
I missed the gentle, rabbit-like face I knew.
Now, it seemed like Chanyi would devour me.
“Haah, haah…”
I took deep breaths, my shoulders trembling.
As I struggled to find my composure, Chanyi whispered softly.
“You’ll really forget everything tomorrow, right?”
I nodded blankly, like someone under a spell.
Chanyi looked at me intently, like an interviewer. I swallowed hard.
I felt pressured to give the right answer. Stammering, I spoke.
“Y-yeah…”
After a while, Chanyi responded.
“Alright. I’ll trust that.”
Then, Chanyi’s tense expression softened into a slight smile.
It was the familiar face, kind and clear.
“Good night, Hyunoh.”
Chanyi lightly tapped my chest and got up from the sofa.
I watched in a daze as Chanyi walked away.
The center of Chanyi’s khakis was still bulging, but the voice was just the same as ever, bidding me a good night.
I covered my face with my hands.
My skin was burning.
I exhaled heavily, the smell of alcohol filling the air, and prayed earnestly.
Please, let me remember nothing tomorrow.
Let me forget everything.
***
The next morning. I woke up later than usual.
It seemed I had slept through the alarm.
I lay curled up in my blanket, taking a few deep breaths.
My stomach felt queasy, and my throat was parched.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps nearby.
Startled, I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
From near the door, Kim Chanyi spoke in a small voice.
“Hyunoh, are you still asleep? I made some dried pollack soup.”
“……”
“Guess you’re still sleeping.”
Kim Chanyi turned and walked away from the room.
I opened my eyes slightly and bit my lip.
Kim Chanyi’s voice was calm, as if nothing had happened.
But I was far from calm.
Damn it.
That kiss, I could never forget it.
* * *
*Summary page is only available for login users. Non-users can view the chapters on the chapter list.*
