* * *
I felt wronged. I wanted to argue. But I couldn’t say anything.
“Ah. How should I punish this pig so everyone will say I did a good job?”
Jungsoo smiled as if he were making a happy decision.
“Okay. Crawl around naked here and apologize to me.”
“…What?”
“How about this: wouldn’t it be hilarious if we filmed it?”
Park Jungsoo chuckled, nodding towards his friends.
“Hey, take his pants off.”
“Wow, you’re a real piece of work, even for a friend. What if he ends up killing himself?”
“If he kills himself, that’s great for me. I won’t have to see this jerk’s rotten face at school anymore.”
I felt a hand approaching my rear.
They forcefully tugged at my pants, starting to pull them down.
I glared at Park Jungsoo with wide eyes.
“Don’t, don’t do it.”
“Why? Want me to stop?”
My whole body trembled.
I alternated my gaze between Park Jungsoo’s bulging eyes and the ground.
In a flash, my pants and underwear were stripped off.
The winter wind on my bare skin felt like a knife. I finally burst into tears.
Park Jungsoo laughed as he watched me cry.
“Hey, look at this crybaby.”
It was freezing and it hurt so much.
“Look at all that flab. It’s disgusting. Like a pig in a butcher shop.”
“Is he going to pee?”
“Ew.”
“What’s funny is that despite all the fat, his penis is pretty big.”
“Hey, Kim Chanyi, he might be useful?”
“Useful for what? When’s he ever going to get the chance to use it?”
Three of them examined my bare legs and rear, making crude comments.
I felt like a piece of meat waiting to be graded at the slaughterhouse. I wanted to die. The railing pressing into my stomach was now numb from pain.
I kept crying like a child, choking on my tears and snot. In the distance, I saw some kids start to walk around the sports field.
They were probably going to exercise after lunch.
I hoped they would see me and save me from this place.
But then I quickly hoped no one would notice me.
I wanted to keep this humiliation a secret forever.
What if someone saw me and called a teacher?
By tomorrow, the whole school would know.
“The pig from class 3 was stripped and beaten on the roof…”
Would they pity me?
Feel sorry for me?
No, most would find it amusing.
I would be the topic of their gossip during lunch or breaks.
I’d rather jump and die than face that.
Park Jungsoo was still gleefully smacking my rear with his palm and fist.
I struggled to break free from him.
“Damn, what’s this jerk doing? Trying to fall and die?”
Suddenly, my body swayed, bringing my upper half closer to the ground.
My insides felt like they were flipping, and I thought I would vomit.
Blood rushed to my head and more tears flowed.
I was terrified.
Of dying, of being humiliated by Park Jungsoo, of being rescued.
All of it scared me.
I wished none of this had ever happened.
I wished I had never been born.
At that moment, I thought I saw someone playing with a ball in the distance glance my way.
He stopped and stared for a moment.
My heart pounded.
It was too far to see his face clearly, but I thought it was Hyunoh.
Bang! Park Jungsoo shoved me off the railing, slamming me onto the ground.
I curled up, coughing. Park Jungsoo told his friend.
“Hey, I’m going to film this, take off his shirt.”
“Ew, gross.”
Despite their disgust, they obeyed Park Jungsoo.
I struggled to break free from their grasp, but it was no use.
They quickly stripped off my vest and unbuttoned my shirt.
I shivered from the cold.
In an instant, I was completely naked.
All I could do was cry even louder.
The green rooftop floor was stained with my saliva, tears, and blood.
As I covered my genitals and curled up, Park Jungsoo nudged me with his foot.
“Hey, get up and crawl to me.”
I was terrified of the phone in his hand.
Was he filming my body?
I looked up at him, scared.
“Hurry up.”
My arms shook.
My head spun.
What should I do?
How could I escape this?
Would this ever end?
“If you cooperate, I won’t film your face. How about that?”
He whispered with a laugh.
I froze, not knowing what to do.
When I didn’t move for a while, Park Jungsoo frowned, losing interest.
He crouched down in front of me.
“Not listening, huh?”
His phone recorded every part of my body.
His mocking gaze crushed me.
He didn’t see me as human, treating me like livestock, poking and prodding and laughing.
“Should I film the pig’s penis too?”
Park Jungsoo giggled.
He moved the phone towards my genitals.
I twisted my shoulder to break free from his grip.
“Don’t, don’t do it.”
“Stay still if you don’t want another beating.”
“Don’t, don’t do it…”
I’d rather be beaten.
I clenched my legs together and bit my lip.
I didn’t want my genitals filmed.
But soon, his friends grabbed my arms and held me down.
“Don’t!”
I screamed with all my might, but it seemed they couldn’t hear me.
I glanced at the railing where my body had been earlier.
Jump and die. End this by jumping off.
* * *
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