* * *
Thinking of Hyunoh turned my whole mindset upside down.
A feeling I had never experienced before, something I couldn’t define, welled up in my chest.
After dreaming of Hyunoh, I didn’t know why I felt so tender and sad.
For the first time, I tried skipping meals.
I went jogging alone late at night.
I practiced badminton hard.
By the time the performance assessment came around, I had lost about 7 kg.
But the assessment results were disastrous.
I scored the lowest. I had tried, but I was just terrible at sports.
Leaving the gym and walking back to the classroom, I lagged behind the others, walking alone.
I felt like crying.
Just ahead of me, a group of boys, including Hyunoh, were walking together, their noisy chatter filling the air.
Park Jungsoo sneered as he spoke to Hyunoh.
“Kim Hyunoh, I told you to switch partners.”
This time, I couldn’t argue with Jungsoo.
“You’re always looking out for Kim Chanyi too much.”
Yeah, that’s right. The boys around Jungsoo laughed in agreement. Hyunoh stayed silent.
“I don’t get why you’re so nice to that jerk.”
There was a hint of resentment in Jungsoo’s voice.
It made sense; last year, he used to take out his frustrations on me.
This year, he lost his fun punching bag because of Hyunoh.
Hyunoh ranked higher in the social hierarchy than Jungsoo, so Jungsoo couldn’t boss him around.
Our class’s boys were divided into three groups: five who were smart and quiet, eight who were average in everything, and five who didn’t care about studying but were good-looking.
I didn’t belong to any group. Jungsoo and Hyunoh were in the last group.
Hyunoh didn’t particularly like Jungsoo but hung out with him anyway.
Jungsoo must have known that too.
I remember Jungsoo always looking tense, watching Hyunoh’s reactions.
Hyunoh slowly turned to look at Jungsoo.
For the first time, he opened his mouth to speak.
“So what? You got a problem with it?”
The atmosphere turned icy.
“What?”
“I said, do you have a problem with it? It’s not like I’m especially nice to Kim Chanyi. I treat him the same as I treat you.”
“Hey, Kim Hyunoh….”
The warning bell rang, and Hyunoh turned his head and walked off quickly.
The other boys hesitated before following him. Jungsoo was left alone.
I couldn’t bring myself to walk past Jungsoo and stood still.
I heard him mutter under his breath.
“Damn it.”
He turned to glare at me fiercely.
Was he going to hit me?
He must have felt bad.
After all, the boy he worked so hard to follow around treated him the same as a fat pig like me.
Jungsoo looked ready to throw a punch, but I wasn’t scared.
I even felt a smile creeping up.
The joy outweighed the fear.
Jungsoo bit his lip hard and turned away.
I didn’t know if Hyunoh really thought of me as equal to Jungsoo.
What mattered to me was that he defended me and gave Jungsoo a blow.
After that, Jungsoo would glare at me but couldn’t treat me as he used to.
Compared to last year, time passed peacefully.
Sometimes I wanted to thank Hyunoh, but I didn’t have the courage to start a conversation.
I just watched him from a distance.
Handsome, tall, kind, strong, and rich—Hyunoh lacked nothing.
He stood out no matter where he was.
For the first time, I liked being in the classroom because Hyunoh was there.
If possible, I wanted to stay eighteen forever.
I fantasized about a classroom in 2nd year, 3rd class where time didn’t move, thanks to an alien’s beam.
Although now, Hyunoh and I were just next to each other in the attendance list, spending our lives together might change something.
Maybe we could become the best of friends.
But contrary to my wishes, the 365 days of being eighteen flew by.
Before I knew it, the year was over, winter break had ended, and it was already February.
The new semester was just around the corner.
The bell ringing brought me back to reality.
I had been lost in memories, staring at Hyunoh, without realizing an hour had passed.
I had only solved two problems in my workbook.
It was already time for dinner.
The kids rushed to the cafeteria as soon as the bell rang.
Hyunoh also left early with two friends.
I hadn’t been eating dinner lately because I lost my appetite.
I buried my head in my arms on the desk and closed my eyes.
I stared into the darkness. And thought about Hyunoh again.
Would we be in different classes in the third year?
I wanted to cry.
Not seeing Hyunoh anymore was the most terrible thing.
Could I approach Hyunoh before the school year ended?
Probably not.
There were invisible social ranks in the classroom.
Between me and Hyunoh, the gap was too wide to overcome.
Even if I had the courage to talk to him, what would I do next?
What scared me the most was Hyunoh’s reaction.
If he found me burdensome, if he felt uncomfortable because of me, I’d want to die.
I resented the gradually warming weather.
I wanted to extend the end of winter as much as possible.
But winter was steadily shrinking.
I buried my face deeper and exhaled a small breath like a dying person.
“Hey.”
A low voice came from above my head. I jumped up in surprise.
I thought the classroom was empty.
Park Jungsoo was standing right in front of me.
The two who had hung out with him and beaten me in the first year were with him.
“You bastard. Get up.”
* * *
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