* * *
Kim Chanyi looked surprised, his eyes wide.
“The boss told me to feed you the porridge and bring back the container.”
“Oh, really?”
Kim Chanyi’s face brightened noticeably.
His pale cheeks gradually turned pink.
“You’re too obviously happy. You didn’t even try to refuse. You could at least pretend to want to return the container yourself.”
“Sorry. I wouldn’t dislike having you stay with me longer.”
“Sigh.”
Once again, I found myself stepping into Kim Chanyi’s house.
Standing in the entrance, I felt a mix of emotions.
As I hesitated for a moment before entering, Kim Chanyi scratched the back of his head and smiled awkwardly.
“Sorry it’s a bit messy. I haven’t been able to clean up because I’ve been sick.”
“No, it’s perfectly clean.”
I thought about my own small, cluttered room, which looked even smaller with clothes strewn about. Compared to my place, this was a five-star hotel.
Kim Chanyi’s place seemed to be over twenty pyeong.
I had always assumed officetels were just one-room apartments.
But here, there was a living room with two bedrooms attached.
“…Your place is big.”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“Why don’t you live in the dorms?”
“The dorms only have four-person rooms. I didn’t want to share with anyone, so I rented this officetel.”
“You could’ve rented an apartment.”
“I didn’t want to trouble my dad by asking for that much.”
I see. I felt small in the presence of such a grand house.
Once, I used to live in a house two or three times this size, but that was long ago.
Most of my memories before I turned nineteen are hazy, intentionally erased from my mind.
Kim Chanyi walked weakly towards the air conditioner. Beep. It turned on.
“Kim Chanyi, why are you turning on the air conditioner? I heard you have a cold.”
“I thought you might be hot.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“But you’re sweating.”
“Just worry about yourself.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s not about worrying, just—never mind.”
Arguing with Kim Chanyi seemed pointless.
I hesitated, then perched on the edge of the three-seater sofa.
Kim Chanyi, standing some distance away, looked at me with a gaze barely containing curiosity and excitement.
Whenever he had that look, I felt like a monkey in a zoo.
“Just eat your porridge quickly so I can leave.”
“Oh, okay.”
“And turn off the air conditioner.”
“It’s fine. I’ll just wear a cardigan.”
“Do whatever you want. Just hurry up.”
Although my sweat had dried, I could still feel the saltiness on my skin.
The sticky feeling where my skin touched the leather sofa was unpleasant.
I desperately wanted to go home and shower with cold water.
Tilting my head back, I muttered.
“Ugh, I feel so gross…”
Kim Chanyi, who was about to head to the kitchen, stopped and glanced back at me.
“Hyunoh, do you want to shower?”
“No way. I’m not crazy enough to shower here.”
“I’ll lend you some clothes.”
“No, thanks.”
“We even have a bathtub.”
“……”
“You can shower while I eat my porridge.”
For a moment, I was tempted.
I swallowed hard. Kim Chanyi must have noticed my hesitation and quickly took a step closer.
“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything weird. I won’t look.”
“It’s not that I’m worried about that…”
“Then you have no reason to refuse, right?”
Kim Chanyi laughed out loud. His soft white cheeks lifted.
He looked harmless and cute, like a marshmallow.
My resolve softened.
Sure, I didn’t want to get involved, but it was too late now.
After all I went through carrying him, I could at least borrow his bathroom for a shower.
Besides, this place was much more comfortable than mine.
Unable to resist the unpleasant stickiness, I rationalized it quickly.
Nodding, I got up from the sofa.
“Alright, then give me some clothes to change into.”
Kim Chanyi smiled so widely his eyes turned into crescents.
“Okay, wait a minute.”
Kim Chanyi hurried to his room and quickly returned with some clothes. Even underwear.
“Underwear too?”
Kim Chanyi’s face turned bright red in an instant.
“This is new. You can keep it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
Kim Chanyi nodded vigorously, as if to assure me of his sincerity.
His black hair bounced around.
The underwear felt stiff, indicating it was indeed new.
I took the clothes from Kim Chanyi and headed to the bathroom.
It was much larger than my own.
The tiles were pretty, and it even had a bathtub.
Kim Chanyi followed me to the door and explained.
“Do you want to use the bathtub?”
“No, I’ll just take a shower.”
“Okay. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash are here.”
Kim Chanyi awkwardly smiled while holding the bathroom door handle. I nodded silently.
“Alright, enjoy your shower.”
Kim Chanyi closed the door behind him.
I took a deep breath while looking at the mirror.
My cheeks were red, likely from the heat. My hair was a mess too.
Is it really okay for me to be here at Kim Chanyi’s house?
My mind was a jumble of thoughts.
Kim Chanyi was definitely not a bad guy.
I think it was the same in high school.
I don’t remember what exactly happened, but the impression of Kim Chanyi remains.
Too gentle, too pure, too soft to be worrisome.
Because he wasn’t a bad guy, it was even harder to shake him off.
Especially after I decided to be cold-hearted, only for him to collapse sick.
If Kim Chanyi hadn’t been my high school classmate, what would it be like?
If he were just a stranger I met in this area?
I imagined as I undressed. Would I still find him burdensome?
Or would I be able to be normal friends? I felt a bit sad, thinking it might have been the latter.
Naked, I sighed. What meaning does such an imagination hold?
Reality was the opposite of what I wished.
Kim Chanyi, filled with past memories, was slowly invading my world.
I wanted to stop him, but it never went as I wished.
From Kim Chanyi’s shower, hot water gushed out immediately.
The bathroom was spacious enough to swing my arms around without hitting the walls.
I finished showering comfortably for the first time in a while and put on the clothes.
* * *
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