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We Just Guess Each other is the title of the fan translation of the Manhwa. I just used it, but the best translation of the title is ‘We just know each other.’ or ‘We can only guess each other.’
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Kim Hyunoh, 24 years old, Mid-summer when I wanted to die
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Is it possible to kill my past self?
For the past five years, I’ve been erasing pieces of my past one by one.
I cut off all contact with everyone I once knew and left home.
I searched for a place where no one knew me, a place where no one should know me.
I fell from a 60-pyeong (198.348 square meters) apartment to a semi-basement single room, but for my current situation, this place suits me better.
The day before yesterday, a documentary about stars called ‘Cosmos’ was on TV. I wasn’t particularly interested, but since nothing else was on, I left it on.
My eyes were on the TV, but I couldn’t focus.
I had just received a call from my uncle.
He’s persistent.
Even if I block his number, he contacts me from another one.
Should I just change my number?
But that’s annoying too.
My uncle nagged for a few dozen seconds about how I shouldn’t live like this.
– What on earth are you doing? Huh? You, who grew up so comfortably without lifting a finger, what are you going to do alone? Come live with us. We can’t do as much as your parents, but still…
I listened silently and then hung up without saying a word.
I blocked this number too.
Then, I turned my attention back to the narration from the TV.
[If we don’t look at the past temporally, we can’t see far spatially.
When we look at distant stars, we are actually seeing the past of those stars.
The nearest spiral galaxy, M31, also known as the Andromeda Galaxy, is 2 million light-years away.
The light we see from M31 today left that galaxy when humanity had not yet appeared on Earth-.]
I turned off the TV.
It was horrifying.
The starlight I was seeing was merely a ghost of the past.
Everything around me became detestable.
Even if I thought I had erased the past, could it still be clinging to me?
Like the light we see that actually came from the past.
I scratched my forearm like a germaphobe for a long time.
If the light of a single star gave me such chills, how would it feel if a classmate who appeared after five years confessed to me while crying?
‘I like you, Hyunoh. I’ve liked you since high school.’
‘I had no idea.’
‘I remember everything that happened between us.’
‘What?’
Panting breaths.
Eyes brimming with tears.
Lips tightly bitten.
My eyes filled with fear as if I had seen a ghost.
Kim Chanyi held my past completely intact.
Such a terrifying thing shouldn’t have happened.
At that moment, I wanted to kill not only my past but also my present self. And Kim Chanyi as well.
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🙂