* * *
The truth was, Raon had never gone beyond mucous membrane guiding before.
Not surprising, considering Han Raon had never cared for anyone besides Dojin.
Even though their compatibility was terrible, Han Raon was the country’s only S-rank guide.
If not for Hamin, he could’ve monopolized Dojin, just as he wanted.
But the main receiver in the novel wasn’t him—it was Hamin.
In the end, Han Raon never formed a deep connection with anyone as a guide.
That arrogant man had never even kissed someone despite working as a guide—what a joke.
Raon, who had lived the same life, was no different.
Though in his past life, he’d at least dated and lived normally.
It had been five years ago, and in a different body, but still.
‘Well… it’ll work out somehow.’
Raon thought optimistically as he leaned in.
He was decent in hands-on situations.
Siwoo was still dazed from being flicked earlier.
Even as Raon’s face drew dangerously close, he just blinked in confusion.
“Nggh.”
“Haa…”
Raon let go of Siwoo’s wrist and cupped his face with both hands.
He leaned down and carefully pressed their lips together.
This wasn’t an act of intimacy—it was a medical procedure.
Raon reminded himself of that as he gave Siwoo a soft peck and then ran his tongue over his cracked lips.
This was medical. It was.
‘…Shit. Why are his lips so soft?’
Not a single memory of anyone he’d kissed five years ago came to mind.
Raon licked the now-damp lips once more before slipping his tongue into Siwoo’s parted mouth.
“Mmgh…”
“Haa…”
Siwoo’s hands were as cold as his powers, but his mouth wasn’t.
It burned like a furnace as Raon swept his tongue through it, his brows furrowed.
No matter how good it felt, he couldn’t forget the purpose.
Raon kept checking his watch while their lips were joined.
Mucous membrane guiding seemed to be working—the pollution levels were improving noticeably.
“…Phew.”
The immediate crisis was over.
Raon let out a breath of relief and pulled back.
His lips, slick with someone else’s saliva, felt a little embarrassing.
“Why…”
“Huh…?”
Awkward, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, but Siwoo was still staring up at him, lips parted in visible confusion.
His vitals had stabilized, but was his mind still foggy?
Worried that Siwoo might suddenly flare up in anger once he fully came to his senses, Raon rushed to explain.
“I had no choice. Your vitals were a mess, and even when I held your hand…”
“Why… stop.”
“What?”
It was only then that Raon realized the “why” Siwoo had spoken carried a completely different meaning.
But even with that realization, he couldn’t quite make sense of it and blinked in confusion.
In the next moment, his world flipped upside down.
“Urgh…!”
Only after hitting the floor did Raon realize Siwoo had climbed on top of him.
His mind might still be clouded, but with his vitals back up, the body of an S-Class Esper was clearly back in action.
“Hey, Yoon Siwoo…!”
“…….”
Raon tried to twist his body away, but Siwoo gripped his wrist tightly, pinning it to the ground.
Raon looked up at him, tense.
Siwoo’s piercing eyes locked onto Raon with unwavering intensity.
Siwoo could never forget the day he first met Raon.
He had awakened as an Esper at the early age of eight.
After ten long years, he finally met his Guide.
Even among fellow S-classes, their compatibility was off the charts — so much so that the staff at the Center had made a huge fuss.
Everyone said the two of them were destined for each other.
Siwoo had never truly wished for anything in life.
Abandoned at a poor orphanage at birth, he’d grown up being treated like a burden.
His early awakening as an Esper was no blessing — it had happened because a Gate had opened near the orphanage, and people had dumped off children before fleeing.
He was far too young when he first understood the cruel nature of the world.
He grew up trusting no one and wanting nothing.
“From now on, he’ll be your Guide.”
“…….”
And yet, there was one thing he had always desperately longed for.
A Guide. Someone who could ease the skull-splitting migraines that struck without warning.
An Esper without proper Guiding would eventually lose control.
Espers were nothing but fragile beings who would die once they exhausted all their power.
Following the Center staff who seemed relieved, Siwoo met Raon for the first time.
‘Ah.’
He knew at a glance. This man was his Guide.
His jet-black hair shimmered under the light like deep water tinged with blue.
Siwoo stared at the man who was clearly his Guide, stunned.
His heart, without warning, began to race.
But the man’s face twisted in displeasure the moment he saw Siwoo.
“What’s this? A snot-nosed brat still reeking of milk?”
“……!”
Raon, speaking in a sharp tone, gave Siwoo a once-over, then turned to the Center staff with his arms crossed.
“Forget this kid. Bring me Seo Dojin. I’m pairing with him.”
“Guide Han Raon, that’s not—”
“Did I stutter?”
The staff, breaking into a sweat, tried to placate the furious Raon.
Siwoo simply watched in silence.
All he knew was this: the one and only Guide meant for him had rejected him.
After that, Raon became the designated Guide for Alpha Team 1, the unit Siwoo belonged to.
But he never once looked Siwoo’s way.
Used to giving up, Siwoo slowly shut himself off.
“Haah, ha, urgh…”
Whenever the pain felt like it would kill him, Raon’s face — the one that had looked at him with mocking eyes — would come to mind.
And yet, Siwoo still needed him.
Still wanted his Guiding. He wanted to beg, to cling to the very Guide who had cast him aside, no matter how pathetic it made him.
But every time, he clenched his teeth and endured.
The piercing headaches, the body-wracking agony — none of it compared to the pain of being abandoned by his Guide.
“…….”
Was there even a point to living like this?
An Esper unwanted by his Guide… wasn’t it better to end things before he lost control?
He’d had that thought hundreds of times — but Siwoo never could bring himself to die.
Because his Guide was still nearby.
Still alive. Still breathing.
He hated him to the point of madness, resented him with every fiber of his being, and yet… he couldn’t fully hate the one who gave meaning to his existence.
It was a cursed life.
And then—
[We’ve got a mission coming up, right? Let me Guide you first.]
[Let’s pair up.]
Raon suddenly changed his tune and approached him, wearing a casual expression like nothing had ever happened.
Siwoo couldn’t trust him.
Conditioned helplessness had long taken root.
He had decided he would never trust or want anything again.
And yet, Raon once more shook him with that sly face.
He wouldn’t fall for it.
Wouldn’t believe him.
In the end, Raon would change again and laugh at how foolish Siwoo had been for getting played.
So he ignored the summons that claimed he was going to be Guided and took the strong meds as usual.
Just like always, he was going to endure that wretched time alone.
[Siwoo! Yoon Siwoo!]
[……]
Through his blurry vision, he saw Raon calling his name.
But Siwoo, not in his right mind, brushed it off as just another cruel hallucination.
He hated Raon.
He resented him.
Yet his Esper body, on its own, still longed for its Guide’s Guiding.
Siwoo, drowning in helplessness, simply let himself be carried by the tide.
“Why… stop.”
“What?”
Raon’s navy eyes widened as he heard Siwoo’s unconscious words spill from his mouth.
Siwoo smiled faintly as he looked into those confused, dark blue eyes.
That — that was the Han Raon he knew.
The one who despised him.
The one who hated him.
The Guide who had abandoned his Esper.
And yet, in this hallucination, Raon belonged only to him.
“Mmgh…!”
Siwoo suddenly leaned down and kissed him roughly.
Raon’s eyes shot open in shock.
There was no longer any need for mucosal contact to stabilize his vitals.
Of course, they still weren’t ideal, so continuing wouldn’t hurt… but—
The real issue was that the out-of-it Siwoo had gotten far too aroused.
“Hyung, h-hyung, ah… it feels good.”
“Hey, wait—!”
The leash had snapped.
Siwoo kissed Raon like a madman.
With such feverish desperation, Raon could barely breathe under the relentless assault of his lips.
‘This is insane.’
The kissing was no longer the problem.
Every time their lips clashed, their lower halves brushed.
If this kept going, Raon feared he might get too carried away himself.
He struggled to push Siwoo off.
“Siwoo, Siwoo, just… give me a second, okay?”
“…….”
He managed to push him back — barely.
But Siwoo was still close enough for their noses to touch.
Raon tried to catch his breath, to calm himself down.
Those pitch-black eyes gazed into his, unwavering.
“Let’s… let’s cool down a little, okay?”
“…No.”
“What?”
“You’re my Guide…”
“…….”
Siwoo murmured dreamily, eyes hazy, as if caught in a dream.
And Raon… couldn’t bring himself to push him away again.
* * *
