* * *
“…I’m not sure.”
What was I supposed to say about him?
I let my words trail off ambiguously.
I couldn’t answer easily—not because I didn’t know, but because I couldn’t figure out how to explain it.
If I had to put it into words, Kaindel seemed… off.
The composed and familiar man I once knew was gone, replaced by someone hollow, as if a screw had come loose.
The way he seemed to provoke his own wounds, savoring the pain, was unsettling.
A shadow.
The term Kaindel had used to describe me lingered heavily in my mind once again.
It hadn’t been a positive nor a negative descriptor, but for some reason, it grated on me.
Where was he now?
Did he despair upon realizing that the footsteps near the iron fence weren’t mine?
…Despair?
That stray thought brought a wry smile to my face.
Kaindel wouldn’t despair because of me.
I wasn’t important enough to him for that.
It was a truth I’d come to understand countless times before, yet for some reason, I couldn’t stop trying to deny it.
My eyelids, weighted with fatigue, fluttered slowly.
My vision blurred and refocused, and Sehir’s calm face came into view.
He wasn’t even glancing at the documents anymore; his eyes were fixed solely on me.
From the subtle atmosphere he gave off, I guessed he was worried because of what the tabloids had written—particularly about Kaindel’s unstable behavior.
Sensing the reason behind his concern, I let a faint smile tug at the corners of my lips.
At the same time, I mentally chewed over a question that had been aimlessly drifting through my thoughts.
Can people really change?
“He seemed fine to me.”
I could have said Kaindel felt unfamiliar or pointed out that he wasn’t acting like his usual self.
I might have added my own impression that he seemed regretful.
But I chose to summarize it all with a simple statement: he seemed fine.
I didn’t want to dwell on the scene I’d witnessed on the way back from the marketplace.
Just remembering the complex expression he had worn—a look impossible to define with a single emotion—made my chest ache reflexively.
Whether people can change, how to forgive someone, and the expiration date of regret—those were all questions I couldn’t answer yet.
But one thing was certain: I had no desire to endure another love that I knew would hurt me. Once was enough.
In hindsight, when I saw Kaindel wandering aimlessly in the streets, I felt not sadness but a faint sense of satisfaction.
At the time, my fear of encountering him had kept me from examining my emotions too deeply.
“If he seemed fine, then that’s good enough,” Sehir muttered, nodding.
Then, pressing his lips together, he deftly resumed sorting through his papers.
The brief conversation had reached its end.
As he worked, I cast a glance out the carriage window at the village hall passing by and closed my eyes again.
To reach the temple, we would have to cross the border.
The temple, located in neutral territory, didn’t belong to any kingdom in the name of fairness.
While Sehir estimated it would take about twelve hours, crossing the border would likely add more time.
I began counting to lull myself back to sleep.
It wasn’t until I reached one hundred that the fog of drowsiness started to creep back.
“Isa, wake up.”
Sehir’s voice reached me faintly.
Like a swimmer surfacing from a dark sea, my consciousness slowly returned.
When I finally opened my heavy eyelids, Sehir was gently shaking my shoulder, his eyes crinkling with a soft smile.
I stared blankly at his face for a moment before speaking in a hoarse voice.
“Where…?”
“The temple.”
The temple.
At that word, the lingering drowsiness vanished, replaced by a sharp awareness of reality.
So we’d finally arrived.
“How long have we been here?”
“About thirty minutes.”
“You should have woken me.”
“You seemed to be sleeping well for the first time in a while. I thought it’d be better to let you rest. Besides, Owen hasn’t shown up yet.”
“Ah.”
I nodded in agreement.
Come to think of it, I had been struggling to sleep lately.
It wasn’t surprising, given how unsettled I’d been.
No wonder my body felt lighter—I must have truly rested for once.
While I smoothed out the wrinkles in my robe, Sehir looked out of the carriage and opened the door.
I turned my attention away from the crumpled robe I was folding, and Sehir, who had been watching outside the carriage, opened the door.
“Are we leaving now?” he muttered quietly, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
As I followed Sehir out of the carriage, a massive building greeted me.
The structure, entirely made of marble, was adorned with statues that clung to its exterior in a rather unusual way.
The combination of gold and marble created an untainted atmosphere, and the tall, thick columns that soared into the sky, along with the grand stairs, stood out impressively.
After taking a brief look at the building, my gaze shifted to the man standing in front of it.
The man was dressed in a white outer robe with golden thread embroidery, and he wore a half mask of the same color combination.
Through the intricate mask, I could easily guess his identity by the faint, glimmering light in his eyes.
As I studied him, the man, who had been observing me as well, removed his half mask without making even the slightest noise.
“It’s been a while, Isa.”
Just as I had guessed, the man in front of me was Owen.
The moment the mask disappeared, revealing his familiar face, I couldn’t hold back a smile.
“Indeed. How have you been, Owen?”
“Oh, you know… I’ve been eating and sleeping well. It’s been much easier now that I no longer have to fight monsters. By the way, Isa, you…”
Owen seemed about to say something but paused, carefully lifting my chin.
His sharp gaze quickly scanned my face.
Then, he furrowed his brow and clicked his tongue.
“Tch, your complexion is a mess. How much sleep have you missed? A madman may only need to lose his mind, but it’s a problem when he makes others uncomfortable, don’t you think?”
“Who would even listen?”
“At this hour, no one. It’s time for afternoon prayer.”
“Thank goodness.”
I felt a sense of relief at his quick response.
I had been worried that Owen’s irreverent words might cause trouble, given his position as a priest.
More than that, his tone had reminded me of someone—someone with a similar fierce manner.
As I recalled, it must have been Ruen.
We had been close for so long that it seemed I had even picked up his way of speaking.
After so many arguments, maybe we had learned from each other.
I couldn’t help but smile at the familiar scent that reminded me of Owen.
Owen, seeing my faint smile, seemed to lose the urge to say anything further, and he stepped back a few paces.
In the spot where his hand had been, a subtle warmth lingered for a moment before fading.
At that moment, Sehir, who had been quietly observing us, finally spoke.
“Well, now that you’ve met Owen, I think I’ll be on my way.”
“Already leaving?”
“Yeah, I actually have to attend a noble council meeting.”
Sehir added that it was just a week away, his eyebrows twitching as if regretful.
So, he had made the effort to come despite his busy schedule.
Since he hadn’t shown any signs of urgency, I never imagined he had such an important obligation looming just a week ahead.
I sighed, recalling the documents Sehir had left behind in the carriage.
It seemed those papers were related to the council’s agenda.
Just as I drew in a breath to bid him farewell, Owen, who had been quietly stroking his neatly trimmed platinum hair, nodded.
“Well, yes… Skipping a meeting at a time like this could be disastrous.”
“A time like this?”
“What’s His Majesty planning to do? Suppress it? That wouldn’t sit well with public opinion.”
I’d asked to clarify, but Owen’s words only raised more questions.
He peered at Sehir with a mix of curiosity and caution, clearly seeking information.
Words like time like this, suppress, and public opinion—phrases not commonly used—surfaced ominously.
Come to think of it, hadn’t someone mentioned that the capital was on edge?
Perhaps it wasn’t solely due to Kaindel.
Lost in fragmented thoughts, I noticed Sehir casting a quick glance my way.
His amber eyes flickered with a subtle unease.
“Let’s discuss this later, Owen. I don’t know much myself; I’ll have to go and find out. But it’s probably nothing serious.”
Though he tried to gloss over it smoothly, it was obvious he was deflecting.
I debated whether to stop Sehir from wrapping up the conversation but decided against it.
Instead, I watched quietly as he hurriedly boarded his carriage.
If Sehir had chosen to stay silent on this matter, I didn’t feel the need to pry.
I’d learned the hard way that the more I entangled myself in the capital’s affairs, the worse things turned out for me.
If it was truly important, I’d find out eventually.
“Take care.”
“Keep in touch.”
“Will do.”
With those final words, the carriage carrying Sehir slowly rolled away, the sounds of hooves and wheels resonating in succession.
The rhythmic noise and ensuing silence were soon broken by Owen.
“Let’s head in. The Master… no, His Holiness is waiting.”
* * *
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