* * *
The wind blew.
Haen’s hair rustled in the breeze.
It was too vivid to be a dream, and too peaceful to simply accept as reality.
I gave Haen no opportunity to speak by saying nothing myself.
I lay on the mat, my hands resting on my stomach, merely blinking.
It was quite amusing that I held the position of superiority, even though Haen was looking down at me.
A sudden mischievous urge made me twist my lips and wiggle the hand I had placed on my stomach.
“By the way, Count, a thought just occurred to me, were you in a position to look down at me?”
At my words, sung out with a voice devoid of any mirth, Haen immediately lowered his body.
We were no longer friends or anything of the sort, and Haen had come here to reinstate me to that ruined position.
Haen’s face, taking a much lower posture than I who was lying down leisurely, was a sight to behold.
A complex expression of fundamental doubt, as if he didn’t know why he had to be doing this.
“The Count doesn’t know the basic posture of someone asking for a favor. And he also doesn’t know the attitude of someone apologizing.”
“……”
“Ah, just in case, I’ll mention this: Don’t say that we don’t need to observe such old-fashioned things because we are friends.”
‘If we’re friends, then everyone in the world is a friend. You think so too, don’t you?’
When I couldn’t sleep, I used to play Siadow puppets with Hesia.
A butterfly, a bird, a dog, a fox…
Remembering that time, I overlapped my hands and made them flutter.
While I was playing a silly game, Haen was silent, like a person who could do nothing but keep quiet.
His blonde hair, which naturally touched the dirt floor as he lowered his body, shone unnecessarily.
I watched him, lying diagonally and resting my chin on my hand, and was the first to speak.
“Haen.”
At my call, which was utterly tender, as if the coldness I had shown was a lie, Haen snapped his head up.
It was the face of someone who had seen utterly useless hope.
It was the face of a pathetic person who jabbered that he had seen the light and the answer in the Siadow of God.
“Haen De Winter.”
The man before me went back and forth between hell and heaven with just one call from me.
I stopped pondering when I had become such an entity to him.
I was already troubled enough just thinking about the things concerning Hesia.
‘That aside. Why did Sia send Haen in front of me alone?‘
Of course, I did engage in uncharacteristic pillow talk to ask him to let me meet Haen.
But that was to ask to ‘meet’ him, not to face him alone.
I was fully willing to understand if Hesia had been right next to me while I talked with Haen.
“What on earth was our Kitty thinking… Did he like the pillow talk that much?”
I tilted my head, then remembered Haen was in front of me.
Looking back belatedly, he wore a tired expression.
Whatever the reason, he seemed to have realized that I wouldn’t grant his request.
Instead of thoroughly aggravating Haen, I smiled softly.
Haen, who was looking at me with his body lowered, immediately pressed his forehead to the dirt floor without hesitation.
“Now, everyone knows your innocence.”
“Uh-huh, so.”
“…So come back, Vivi.”
“Hmm, it seems like too many things were skipped in between. It’s only natural that they know my innocence, but isn’t it not a natural thing for me to have to return?”
At my words, whispered with an extremely affectionate face, Haen lost his voice once more.
Was he always this inarticulate?
The conversation was so disjointed that I couldn’t help but think the rude thought.
I feel like conversing with little Hesia would be easier.
I had secretly expected him to drop some kind of bomb after all this time, but this fool was always a disappointment.
“Boring.”
Perhaps I had picked up the word Hesia often muttered while looking at documents.
It just popped out first.
No sooner had my murmur ended than Haen’s earlobes turned red.
“My friend, whom I despise more than anything else in this world. Our friendship ended the moment you cried out for me to be thrown into prison. How old are we? It’s about time we stopped this uninteresting game of make-believe.”
I thought I would be angry when I saw Haen.
I thought I would tremble and shout the injustice I had never been able to pour out.
But the reality was different.
I whispered with an extremely calm face and a soft tone, as if talking about today’s weather.
Haen looked like someone who had been struck by lightning while walking on a sunny day.
The face of a sinner, tightly bound by resentment and incomprehension.
I looked at that face kindly and lectured him like a child.
“We lived half our lives as friends, and the other half as people worse than strangers. Oh, Haen, don’t make that face. This really is nothing. It’s just that this time, it’s our turn to become strangers.”
“…I’m not ready to become a stranger to you yet. When I close my eyes, I see you smiling at me, Vivi.”
“Foolish Haen. That’s not me. There’s no way the I who rotted in prison for years would be smiling at you.”
‘Don’t be swayed by illusions and mistake them for the essence. Don’t collapse under guilt disguised as longing.’
Haen remained silent for a long time at my resolute words.
His broad shoulders, bowed on the floor, seemed to tremble subtly, but I didn’t offer comfort.
After staying that way for quite a while, Haen slowly raised his head.
His face, messed up with all sorts of emotions, looked like he was about to cry, yet also like he might smile in relief.
“I won’t ask you to return to the Empire anymore. So, just let me ask this one thing. …Vivi, I’ll abandon the Count title. I’ll abandon all the wealth and glory I possess.”
“……”
“If I do that, will you travel with me? Will you wander the world with me, with nothing but a sword?”
I don’t know what change of heart he had during the time we were apart, but it was completely sincere.
I looked at Haen with slightly surprised eyes, then shook my head.
“I can’t. I already belong to Sia.”
“…I see.”
‘I’m always too late.’
Haen muttered to himself and slowly got up from the floor.
He turned his back on me without lingering, maintaining impeccable composure.
Instead of watching his departing figure, I closed my eyes.
The presence of the bodyguards, which had moved away during our conversation, grew closer again.
I fell into a light sleep, leaving behind those presences that I would now feel empty without.
✽ ✽ ✽
And Hesia was standing at a location where he could see everything, though not hear it.
It was none of his business whether his quite familiar knights muttered about how unsightly it was, or about his obsessive jealousy.
Hesia, who had been watching the scene from afar, sneered as if he had been waiting for the moment he made eye contact with the stumbling Haen.
His expression was so annoyingly childish that even his allies momentarily clenched their fists.
As the knights who had unconsciously clenched their fists realized their mistake and relaxed their hands, Haen, contrary to the expectation that he would be thoroughly provoked, bowed with a serene face.
Hesia, whose interest instantly died, snorted and folded his arms.
“So, Count. You insisted so stubbornly, did the conversation go well?”
Haen didn’t react at all to the words that treated him like a child. Hesia, seeing his somewhat dazed eyes, clicked his tongue briefly.
It seemed he had been properly scolded by Vivisian.
People mistakenly think Vivisian is a good person, but he is not.
Rather, he is indifferent and resorts to cruel words and actions.
Affection for him is merely something he shares because it exists, and it holds no deeper meaning.
“Count, you are truly pathetic. Aren’t you?”
“Prince, you should be careful with your words…”
“Hmph, ridiculous. Since when did you consider me a Prince? You have no conscience.”
Hesia twisted the ends of his plump lips and stood in front of Haen, his luxurious clothes fluttering.
The small child who clung to Vivisian’s leg and whined constantly was not here.
Haen looked at the man who was significantly taller than him and recalled his childhood.
The child who was barely tall enough to reach Vivisian’s waist had the same look in his eyes now as he did then.
It was a cool voice that grabbed Haen by the collar and pulled him out of his thoughts.
“I already told you. The person you are looking for is not here; only my lover is.”
“……”
“How much further should I tolerate the Count’s rudeness? Huh? Stop doing useless things and go back, Count. If you continue to stir up trouble in my territory, I might treat my honored guest like a dog.”
With those words as his last, Hesia passed Haen by with an expression that implied he had no further business with him.
Haen turned his head to look at where Hesia’s steps were headed.
Hesia moved his feet with a face that seemed certain his path was correct, like people in the past who used the stars to find their way.
It was, perhaps naturally, Vivisian who greeted Hesia at the end of that path.
“Vivi!”
A voice that carried no sin flowed on the wind.
Haen stood frozen in that spot and watched the two of them for a long time.
* * *
