* * *
Outside the window, a cold winter rain drizzled down onto the bare branches.
The season had already passed that chilly autumn when he broke up with Yoonwoo and was crossing the threshold into winter.
Joowon sat by the window in a luxurious restaurant overlooking Seoul, waiting for Han Jiwoon to arrive.
He checked his attire once more in his seat.
Today had to be perfect.
It was the day he had finally decided to formally propose a relationship to the lovely Omega, Jiwoon.
He wanted to end this unstable arrangement and stand proudly beside Jiwoon as his official partner.
A small gift box containing a stylish bracelet that Jiwoon would like was placed on the table.
Joowon slowly swirled his wine glass, contemplating his decision.
In truth, contrary to his resolve when he broke up with Yoonwoo , he had been continuously postponing this decision.
The strange discomfort that weighed heavily on a corner of his heart refused to dissipate easily.
Every time he opened his mouth to confess to Jiwoon, an uneasy and anxious feeling, as if something deep inside were warning him not to, would suddenly surge up, causing him to swallow his confession multiple times.
But that was only until today.
He couldn’t be shackled to the past forever.
Jiwoon was bright and beautiful, and most importantly, he ardently desired Joowon.
To put an end to this uneasy and anxious feeling, he had to quickly solidify his relationship with Jiwoon and move on to a new phase.
The relationship with Jiwoon, an Omega, was distinctly different from his relationship with Yoonwoo.
Above all, there was the pheromone factor.
He could sense Jiwoon’s mood or state through his pheromones without needing to express it verbally, and Jiwoon was equally sensitive to Joowon’s pheromones.
There was no need to intricately observe and consider each other’s feelings.
Communication between an Alpha and an Omega was much more intuitive and convenient.
The physical relationship was the same.
Even putting aside the intensity he felt during that uncontrollable rut night at the hotel, the intimate moments shared within the instinctive connection guided by pheromones were utterly ecstatic and provided him with a different kind of satisfaction that was incomparable to what he had with Yoonwoo.
He even felt as though his Alpha instinct, which had been suppressed for eight years, had finally found its proper place.
That wasn’t all.
As soon as the rumors of his breakup with Yoonwoo and his relationship with Jiwoon spread, the surrounding views, which had subtly disapproved of him when he was with Yoonwoo , definitely changed.
Although Jiwoon was a recessive Omega, people seemed relieved by the fact that he was ‘still an Omega.’
The atmosphere was markedly different from when he was dating Yoonwoo , a Beta.
He heard his mother’s voice, sighing in relief, ‘You made the right decision. Now you’re on the right path.’
His father expressed satisfaction, saying, ‘It looks better and is more stable for an Alpha to be with an Omega.’
Even the people he met for business, having heard the rumors, would offer well wishes, saying he ‘looks good with an Omega from a respectable family.’
Without the questioning glances and the mockery veiled as curiosity he’d always felt when he said he was dating a Beta, Joowon felt like he could finally breathe.
It was a kind of approval and blessing he could never have received while he was with Yoonwoo.
Each time, Joowon felt a sense of relief and liberation that he had returned to the ‘correct path.’
Yes, this was the normal life for an Alpha.
He no longer needed to restrain himself with those tiresome suppressants.
How difficult it had been to forcibly suppress his instincts for eight years.
He tried to tell himself that it was a good thing he was finally free from those shackles.
But very occasionally, just very occasionally, unconscious habits would pop up and catch him off guard.
In the morning, he would inadvertently reach for two coffee cups and stop himself, or when he returned to his empty apartment, he would still, out of habit, call out, “Yoonwoo.”
When he looked at new design drafts reported by his staff, he would think, ‘This is the kind of style Yoonwoo likes,’ only to be startled when he realized the reality.
Looking at the empty space beside him on the sofa while watching TV had become almost a daily routine.
Whenever that happened, a part of his chest would feel chilled and sink, but Joowon tried to ignore the feeling and move past it.
‘It’s just a small habit that will soon disappear. Everything will be fine with time.’
He told himself that it was unavoidable after dating for eight years, trying to soothe himself and deliberately ignoring Yoonwoo ‘s shadow.
However, the days when he would wake up abruptly from nightmares for no clear reason were increasing.
He couldn’t remember the content of the dreams, but he always woke up with his heart pounding wildly, his whole body drenched in cold sweat.
He attributed it to stress from the company, which was recently not doing well.
The company had been stagnating since Yoonwoo left.
The void left by the core designer was bigger than he had anticipated.
Internal reviews suggested that the creative aspect and delicate finishing of projects were no longer what they used to be, and complaints from clients were occasionally heard.
But Joowon wasn’t overly concerned.
Strangely enough, Jiwoon also majored in design and was preparing for employment after graduation.
Joowon hired him as a designer in his company without hesitation.
Of course, he wasn’t enough yet to fill Yoonwoo ‘s shoes, but Jiwoon was an Omega, and Omegas had a sensibility for detail and a knack for reading trends.
‘Jiwoon will adapt soon and do his part. Maybe… he’ll even do better than Yoonwoo , the Beta.’
He repeated this to himself, as if trying to brainwash himself.
Even though everything seemed to be falling back into place, Joowon continuously felt uncomfortable in his heart whenever he met Jiwoon.
It felt as oppressive as having a heavy stone placed on his chest, and sometimes an inexplicable anxiety would surge up.
A sense of foreboding that he had shattered something very precious with his own hands, and the hopelessness that he could never fix it, tormented him.
He deliberately dismissed it as stress from recent company issues, or a natural aftereffect of breaking up with a long-term partner.
He told himself it couldn’t be because of Yoonwoo.
It mustn’t be.
“Joowon! Have you been waiting long? Traffic was a bit heavy today!”
Just then, a sweet fragrance approached, along with a voice that had a distinct bright, high pitch.
He raised his head to see the young and pretty Omega, Han Jiwoon, standing before him in a stylish coat, smiling brightly.
His slightly childish expression made Joowon momentarily forget his complicated feelings.
Jiwoon was still bright and pure, which was unbelievable for someone caught up in his terrible rut.
Something that could have been a lifelong trauma to him….
Joowon felt newly grateful and affectionate that Jiwoon could smile at him like that after going through such an ordeal.
His Omega pheromones were subtle yet enchanting.
Furthermore, that unblemished brightness, clearly showing he was raised with love in a wealthy environment.
That was so different from the dark, fragile appearance of Yoonwoo.
Yoonwoo’s difficult life, shunned by his family, having to fiercely persevere while earning his own living expenses.
Joowon suddenly felt the stark contrast and thought that perhaps this was one of the reasons why the relationship with Jiwoon had to be easier and more comfortable.
Because he no longer had to embrace someone else’s wounds.
Joowon got up from his seat and pulled out her chair.
As Jiwoon came closer and sat next to him, Joowon was amazed to feel the discomfort and anxiety that had continuously plagued his chest melt away like snow.
Jiwoon’s pheromones seemed to gently envelop his nerves like a tranquilizer.
Yes, this was it.
An Alpha needed an Omega’s pheromones.
This was stability and comfort.
He decided to lean into this ease.
“No, I just arrived too. You look even prettier today.”
Joowon smiled naturally and handed the small gift box he had placed on the table to Jiwoon.
After taking a small breath, he looked into Jiwoon’s eyes, his mind made up, and said:
“Jiwoon, will you… officially date me now?”
Jiwoon’s eyes widened with surprise and joy.
His face flushed red, and the sweet pheromones intensified.
“What? Yes! Yes! Of course, I will! To be honest, I’ve been waiting for you to say that for a long time!”
He smiled radiantly, unable to hide his delight.
He was so happy that his eyes were glistening with tears.
Joowon felt Jiwoon’s joyful pheromones and was reassured once more.
‘This is definitely it. How convenient it is to immediately know an Omega’s emotions. A Beta… was frustrating because this wasn’t possible.’
He felt certain he had made the right choice and inhaled deeply Jiwoon’s lovely Omega pheromones.
This was his current happiness, the path he needed to move forward on, he told himself once again.
And so, he failed to see the chilling glint that flashed for a brief moment in the very depths of Jiwoon’s eyes as he chattered happily like a child.
Joowon, immersed in joy, relief, and self-justification, completely missed that light that vanished in an instant.
He simply held Jiwoon’s hand and smiled tenderly.
* * *
