* * *
The place Hyung took me to was a restaurant near his office.
As I cut into my steak in the cozy atmosphere, I couldn’t help but think—how was this any different from a date?
‘I mean, sure, I like guys, but if I went to a restaurant like this with anyone other than Hyung, it’d probably feel weird.’
I had no idea why he kept taking me to places like this instead of a barbecue or a soup restaurant.
After we finished eating, the next stop was a café.
I had planned to buy the coffee, but once again, Hyung wouldn’t let me.
He said I shouldn’t spend money until I got a job.
‘We’re barely a few years apart…’
It kind of pissed me off that he still treated me like a kid.
But since it was a one-sided love, every little action or word from him made my emotions swing up and down.
As I watched Hyung order, my gaze drifted toward the dessert display.
Most of the sweets looked way too sugary, and I instinctively made a small “Ugh” sound.
But just as I was about to look away, something caught my eye—a strawberry tart.
‘…What?’
I had never eaten one before, but suddenly, I could taste it.
The burst of fresh strawberry juice mixing with creamy cheese filling, the light, crisp crust breaking apart in my mouth.
The flavor was so vivid it felt real.
Okay, sure. Even without tasting it, I could imagine what it’d be like.
But the fact that I suddenly wanted to eat it?
That was weird.
“What are you looking at?”
“Huh? Oh, they have strawberry tarts here.”
Hyung looked at me for a moment before saying,
“You don’t like desserts.”
For some reason, his voice felt cold.
“Huh? Oh… yeah, I don’t.”
He seemed like he was about to say something more but didn’t.
When our coffee was ready, we moved to a table.
For some reason, the atmosphere felt heavier.
I hurriedly brought up a random topic.
“Oh, right. Hyung, I saw something weird on my way here.”
“Weird?”
“Yeah. This guy was just standing on the sidewalk, dressed like he was cosplaying some medieval character… I mean, not that cosplaying is weird, but he was just standing there, completely still. His eyes were red too, but they looked too natural to be contacts.”
“I see.”
His response was… off.
Normally, Hyung would’ve shown more interest.
‘Is he in a bad mood?’
My throat went dry.
My heart clenched a little.
Hyung wasn’t supposed to make me feel this way.
“So… what did you think?”
“Huh?”
“That person.
How did they make you feel?”
How did I feel? I unconsciously clasped my hands together.
“…I just thought… he looked exactly like you.”
Huh?
Did that really happen?
Did I even get a proper look at his face?
I can’t quite remember, so I have no idea why I just said that.
Hyung didn’t say anything.
I kept my gaze fixed on the table, unable to look at him directly.
I don’t know why I’m so scared.
If I just act shamelessly, he’d probably just give me a dumbfounded look and move on.
Just like when I suddenly blurted out, “Hyung!” before.
“…….”
Wait, when did I ever… call him ‘Hyung’?
Somewhere, I thought I heard the sound of something breaking.
No… it felt more like someone was trying to forcibly wake me up.
Or maybe…
[Sei.]
It sounded like someone was calling me.
‘I don’t want to.’
I don’t want to wake up.
I love it here.
Everything I ever wanted has come true.
If I stay here, I can be happy forever.
‘Do you really think so?’
The voice in my head made my thoughts come to a halt.
My mind went blank—I couldn’t think at all.
‘Think again. Are you sure that’s really what you believe?’
What kind of nonsense…?
Of course, I’m sure. This is what I chose…
[Sei.]
The unfamiliar name echoed again, and I hurriedly lifted my gaze.
If I see Hyung, I’ll feel better.
If I can just see him, everything will be fine.
Forcing myself to look up, I saw Hyung staring at me with an unreadable expression.
His face was cold—so cold, it was almost resentful.
My heart sank.
“Are you leaving?”
Hyung suddenly asked an incomprehensible question.
To my shock, black tears began trickling down from his eyes.
“Because I’m not real?”
I wanted to ask what he meant, but the words wouldn’t come out.
It was my body, yet it felt like I had lost control of it.
My silence must have been misinterpreted—Hyung let out a chilling smile.
“■■-ah.”
I heard his voice, but I couldn’t process it.
“If I’m not real, then what about you? You don’t even remember your own name. You can’t even hear it.”
My name? My name… what was it again?
“What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you? What about you?”
Hyung repeated the words like a broken record before slowly rising to his feet.
In his hand was something that shouldn’t be there. Something that couldn’t be there.
A knife.
“It’s okay. If you die again, we can start over from the beginning.”
As if those words were a trigger, memories I had long forgotten came rushing back.
I had already died here.
Dozens of times.
Run over by a car.
Crushed by falling steel beams.
All for the most absurd reasons.
‘This place…’
I don’t belong here.
Then where do I go?
Do I even have a place to return to?
As the questions swirled in my mind, I felt Hyung moving closer.
“■■-ah, stay here with me. Forever.”
As he raised the knife, a sudden image flashed through my mind.
A man on the bus.
A man who looked exactly like Hyung.
That’s when I remembered—he had been staring at me, lips silently forming words.
‘Sean.’
That was… another name of mine.
A scream tore from my throat.
“Raizen…!!”
A brilliant light erupted, turning everything white.
As I instinctively shut my eyes, I felt a hand cover them from behind.
[If you go where your eyes lead, you’ll lose your way.]
The voice was strange—both masculine and feminine, old and young, childlike yet adult.
But it was gentle. So warm.
[Just walk. Let your feet lead the way, little one.]
I obeyed the voice without question, stepping forward.
Even with my vision blocked, I walked with ease.
It felt as if something vast and powerful was watching over me from behind, shielding me.
An absurd, impossible feeling.
I walked for what felt like an eternity.
Just as exhaustion began to set in, the voice spoke again.
[You’re almost there.]
That single sentence pushed me forward.
I thought I heard voices calling my name from behind.
But I didn’t turn back.
I had a gut feeling—if I looked back, everything would end.
[Wise choice. Keep going without fear.]
As if reading my thoughts, the voice reassured me. I nodded and pressed on.
More time passed.
Eventually, my steps came to an abrupt stop, as if by instinct.
A low chuckle echoed in my ears.
[You’ve done well.]
I felt the unseen hands slowly lift from my eyes.
I wanted to turn around, to see the one who had guided me.
But I knew—I mustn’t look back.
Before my vision fully returned, someone pulled me into a gentle embrace.
[I’m sorry.]
∗ ∗ ∗
I jolted awake, as if I had been shoved out of a dream.
“Hah… Haah…”
Even though nothing was chasing me, my breath came in ragged gasps.
I frantically scanned my surroundings.
It wasn’t Korea.
But it was a place I knew all too well.
I was back.
Back where I belonged.
There was no time to gather my thoughts.
I threw off the covers and tried to get up—only for my limbs to flail awkwardly like a newborn fawn, sending me crashing to the floor.
“Ow…!”
I pushed myself up, but then—
‘Wait a second.’
My voice…
Why does it sound so familiar?
Sean was supposed to be thirteen. His voice should be higher, more youthful than my real one.
But the voice I had just heard—
It was my original voice.
“A, ah.”
I touched my throat, testing it again.
“Ka, na, da, ra, ma, ba, sa…”
Holy shit.
It really is my voice.
A chill ran down my spine.
A terrible premonition gripped me.
Instead of leaving the room, I staggered over to a full-length mirror.
The reflection staring back at me made my breath hitch.
I was taller.
My face had lost its baby fat.
I looked exactly as I did in my original body.
I leaned closer, almost pressing my face to the glass.
The only thing proving I was still Sean… was my eye color.
‘If my body’s grown… that means time has passed.’
Taking a deep breath, I stepped outside.
Thankfully, I quickly adjusted to my body and avoided another embarrassing fall.
The hallway was empty.
I walked up to the door next to mine—Mila’s room.
Knock, knock.
I rapped softly on the door, but no answer came.
‘She’s not here?’
I knocked again.
Still silence.
Just as I turned to leave—
“…Young Master?”
A voice I hadn’t heard in years pierced my ears.
I whipped around.
There she was.
Mila.
She hadn’t changed much.
“Mila!”
Before I could take a step, she ran toward me.
Tears welled in her eyes.
“Young Master…! Oh, heavens… I knew you would wake up!”
She covered her mouth, sobbing.
Carefully, I pulled her into a hug.
She was smaller than me now.
That alone made the passage of time feel real.
“Mila… can I ask something?”
She nodded, still crying.
“How long… has it been?”
Sniffling, she took a deep breath before answering.
“Three years and nine months.”
* * *
WOW that’s a bigger time skip than expected 🫨