* * *
Although the most crucial misunderstanding had been cleared, the awkwardness built up over time did not easily dissipate.
Perhaps, it was even more difficult because they were family.
There was no real way to bridge the gap, and Raizen didn’t particularly wish for it to be bridged.
He was simply content with the present.
It was strange, but he felt as though a long-cherished wish had finally been granted.
“If I truly become the seed of disaster, then when the time comes, do not hesitate to strike me down. From that moment on, I will no longer be a person of Pantheon.”
That was why he could finally speak of his greatest fear with his own lips.
Strangely enough, saying it out loud made him feel lighter.
Of course, for those who heard it, it was a different story.
“Ra…!”
The Duke clenched his fists, unable to bring himself to speak.
His face twisted as he struggled to contain his emotions.
He had always avoided frowning too much, knowing that even a slight crease in his brow could create an imposing atmosphere.
The fact that he had abandoned such restraint now only showed how difficult it was for him to hold back.
“That will never happen.”
“……”
“Never.”
The words, spoken as if forced through gritted teeth, left Raizen feeling dazed.
‘No, Father. If anything is certain, it’s the opposite.’
Because it had happened before. Over and over again.
“……?”
Raizen furrowed his brows at the sudden thought.
What had he just been thinking?
For a fleeting moment, it was as if his memory had evaporated, leaving a blank space in his mind.
It was a rare occurrence, but he didn’t dwell on it for long.
His mother’s voice soon interrupted his thoughts.
“Rai, I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now. But… no matter what happens, we can never be people who have nothing to do with you.”
Her voice carried sorrow and deep affection.
Raizen slowly looked at his mother.
Her emerald eyes, slightly glistening with moisture, remained steady and unwavering even in this moment.
“That’s not just because we’re your parents. It’s because we love you.”
Love.
A word so unfamiliar that he turned it over in his mind, as if testing its weight on his tongue.
“I’m sure the young master said that because he didn’t want his parents to suffer because of him. It’s natural to prepare for the worst.”
The former Marquis Kreveta spoke.
Though his words reflected Raizen’s thoughts, they somehow felt like someone else’s story.
Perhaps because the marquis had voiced a truth that Raizen himself had not fully recognized.
“…I know. That you only said it out of concern for us. I wasn’t angry at you—I’m sorry if it seemed that way. It’s just… this situation itself is so frustrating…”
Watching his father struggle to put his feelings into words, Raizen felt an even stranger sensation.
His parents, and even the former Marquis Kreveta, had understood the deeper meaning behind his words.
And yet, he himself had not.
‘Because I was… worried about my parents?’
No. That wasn’t quite it.
He had simply stated the obvious.
His parents would take responsibility, whether for honor or for some other reason.
That was just the way they were.
They always had been.
That was why, for this time at least, he had wanted things to be different.
‘Ah.’
Raizen finally realized.
That’s what it was.
The reason he had spoken those words was entirely because he was worried for his parents’ safety.
“I…”
He opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come.
“…I’ll do my best.”
It was a simple statement, but somehow, it felt strange coming from his lips.
For the first time in a long while—perhaps even for the first time ever—he felt like a fool.
“That’s enough. We’ll do our best, too.”
At his mother’s words, Raizen let out a faint smile.
At last, the heavy atmosphere that had hung over them all began to lighten, even just a little.
“In any case, the most pressing matter right now is controlling public opinion. Luavis won’t pass up such a golden opportunity.”
Everyone nodded in agreement at the former Marquis Kreveta’s remark.
“At least our efforts to amplify the rumors from the New Year’s banquet weren’t in vain.”
The New Year’s banquet…
The mention of it naturally brought Sean to Raizen’s mind.
Sean had likely never expected his quick thinking back then to turn into such a significant advantage.
The fact that Sean’s actions had once again saved him made Raizen inexplicably pleased.
Which was exactly why he didn’t want to say this.
But there was no method more effective.
Raizen pressed his lips together for a moment, then finally spoke.
“There is one method that is both the most important and the most certain.”
The events of that day when he was ten years old would inevitably spread as rumors once again.
The Ducal House of Luavis would surely see to that.
If so, then as the subject of those rumors, Raizen had to step forward.
“I just need to enroll in the Royal Academy.”
The Royal Academy had both a middle division and a high division.
The middle division admitted students at age eleven and they graduated at fourteen.
The high division was only open to those aged fourteen or older who had participated in their manifestation ceremony.
Raizen had originally planned to enter the middle division, but after what happened on his tenth birthday, he had no choice but to withdraw.
“It’s impossible to completely erase one rumor with another. However, the one who presents the most convincing proof wins. The fact that I didn’t enroll in the middle division is true, and they will use that against me.”
But if Raizen, the very subject of those rumors, entered the high division, that so-called “proof” would lose its power.
Silence filled the room.
“Will you be alright?”
Strangely, the words didn’t come easily.
Truthfully, the reason he had been holding Sean’s hand every day was simply because he wanted to.
As long as he had the sacred artifact Sean had made for him, life at the academy wouldn’t be too difficult.
More than anything, what mattered was keeping himself from sinking into negative emotions.
He knew all this in his head, yet for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
Raizen couldn’t understand why.
“…It might be a bit troublesome.”
“…….”
“But as long as I have the sacred artifact you made for me, I’ll be fine.”
As soon as he forced the words out, he felt like he had plunged into deep water.
It wasn’t just the unease of unforeseen variables.
Something about it felt heavy, irritating, and even vaguely repulsive.
At that moment, the Duchess rose from her seat and sat beside him.
Gently, she wrapped her arms around her son’s head.
“Alright. We’ll do that, then.”
As he listened to the words she barely managed to swallow back, Raizen slowly closed his eyes.
Raizen walked alone down the dimly lit corridor, where even the moon was nowhere to be seen through the windows.
It had been an unusually long day, and the night felt just as endless.
His steps came to a halt in front of someone’s door.
If it had been his own, he would have entered immediately, but instead, he stood still.
Then, he raised a hand and knocked.
“Sei.”
Normally, there would have been an immediate response.
But now, there was only silence.
Raizen disliked that silence.
Impulsively, he reached for the doorknob—but that was all.
‘Is he really asleep?’
Sean didn’t seem like someone who slept deeply.
Raizen couldn’t say for certain since he hadn’t observed him closely, but on the rare occasions he had visited late at night, Sean had woken at the slightest disturbance.
No, actually—he had even said it himself once…
—I think too much, so I have trouble sleeping.
Suddenly, a voice echoed in his ears.
It lasted only a moment, yet it was so familiar.
It was Sean’s voice, but lighter, almost like he was whining.
Something he had never heard from the Sean of the present.
The Sean in his dreams had been like that.
He looked the same, but his attire and demeanor were completely different.
At first, Raizen had been wary, treating him coldly, but at some point, Sean had started revealing himself completely, like an animal rolling over to show its belly.
That dream-Sean sometimes acted in ways Raizen couldn’t understand.
He would sulk and get angry over nothing, making him unpredictable.
And yet, strangely, it never annoyed him.
The one who truly got under his skin was someone else entirely.
The boy whom dream-Sean trusted.
Even when the dream continued, that boy’s face remained obscured, painted black and unreadable.
‘But… did dream-Sean ever say something like that?’
It didn’t seem like he had.
Then what was that voice just now?
A hallucination?
His thoughts and memories were tangled into a mess.
Raizen furrowed his brows before forcing himself back to reality.
Just in case, he knocked again.
Still, nothing changed.
Even so, he found himself unable to leave Sean’s door.
It wasn’t because there was something urgent he had to say.
‘I’ll tell Sean myself.’
That was what he had told his parents and the former Marquis Kreveta.
But there was no need to say it tonight.
‘And… from now on, I want to be the one to tell Sean things, whenever possible.’
As he recalled his own words, he let out a soft chuckle.
He wasn’t even sure why he had said something like that.
But he had no intention of taking it back.
He wanted Sean to only know what he told him.
He wanted Sean to only look at him, to only rely on him.
Just like dream-Sean had placed his trust in that faceless figure.
And at the same time, he wanted Sean to continue feeling restless in the face of his misfortune.
No matter what tricks the curse played, no matter what happened to him, he wanted Sean to be unable to look away.
To worry, to be concerned, to never stop watching him.
To pity him.
To sympathize with him.
‘Because those are real emotions—ones that the other person never received from Sean.’
Raizen didn’t yet realize.
Why he so naturally accepted that faceless boy as Sean.
Why he didn’t feel the need to question or be wary of it.
What the emotions he felt toward that unknown boy really meant.
And… why he found it so hard to step away from Sean’s door.
* * *
